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Topics - Xamusel

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Fanfiction / Dark Side of the Moon's Fanfiction Author Guide
« on: June 06, 2014, 08:34:09 PM »
Shamelessly copied from the Beast's Lair version.

Talk about DSM fic authors. Tell us what you like, dislike, what their strengths and quirks are. That way a newbie might have a guide on what they ought to try and/or avoid.

Be specific. Also, polite. Encourage other DSM members to make comments on your work if you're a writer.

Oh, one word of advice, no shit-posting about other writers on this forum... especially in regards to lantz. Not only will that invite trouble that everyone would rather not have, but it's also grounds for getting in trouble with the moderator and admin teams, depending on the severity of the situation.

I'll update these first few posts with comments on the authors, as well as additional authors as they crop up.

(Also, if a mod or admin could please sticky this thread, I'd appreciate it.)



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Xamusel: Before I begin, I'll say that this will be cross-posted between two different websites, FFN and DSM. Of course, as this is the critique thread, I'll post the fixed version in a separate thread for the whole chapters. With that in mind... please tell me what could be fixed in this thread before it goes off to the full version (and I'll post revisions of the scenes here if needed).

Mahou Shoujo Spiritual Sakura
Story idea by Xamusel; Co-written by Xamusel and Takeshi Yamato

Prologue: Derailed Fate

(Tohsaka Manor, December 4th, 1992)

Tohsaka Tokiomi, who was sleeping in his chair in his workshop instead of his bed in the master bedroom, was suddenly and rudely awakened by a loud knocking on the front door to the Tohsaka manor. Flailing about for a short bit while reorganizing himself, he almost regained conscious control of himself, but fell backwards in his chair onto the ground when he over-extended himself.

“Owww… what time is it?” Tokiomi groggily asked himself, looking at the clock as he did so. Upon seeing that the time was 4:45, he gaped, because he wanted to know what (or, rather, who) would possibly dare to wake him up at such an ungodly hour in the morning… assuming that he didn’t oversleep.

Taking care to straighten his clothes out, Tokiomi then walked out of his workshop in his basement, making sure to grab a couple of his gems along the way in case he needed self defense. While he was walking out to the front door, he gave pause to consider who could possibly be able to bypass the Bounded Fields that surrounded the property, but was coming up empty on potentials.

‘Hmm… can’t be Emiya Kiritsugu; according to my sources, he’s in Germany on retirement, and he’s probably nowhere near as good at breaking Bounded Fields to begin with,’ Tokiomi thought. ‘The Matous aren’t stupid enough to do so, nor do they have the means to begin with, with only Zouken being the exception. Anyone else would have been compelled to walk away, unless they were Magi, but they would have had to break the Bounded Fields in a rather messy way.’

With a sigh, Tokiomi reached the doorway. He moved his left hand to grab the door and open it, while his right was holding the gems that would act like incendiary grenades when used correctly. As he opened the door, he was prepared for anything combat-related, but, upon fully opening the door, he blinked in surprise.

It was a man and a woman. The man had dark blue hair and green eyes, while the woman had medium-brown hair and dark blue eyes. Both had asian skin and slender figures, though the woman also had a decent-sized bosom, and had a slight bulge in her stomach that could have been due to early pregnancy, but it wasn’t pronounced enough yet for Tokiomi to tell for sure. The man was wearing a black business suit, while the woman was in an elegant blue dress that came down to her ankles. Both had a gold band on their ring fingers, the man on his right hand, the woman on her left hand, signifying that the two were married.

With a second blink of surprise, Tokiomi eventually asked, “Welcome to the Tohsaka manor. Might I ask what brings you two here?”

“My name is Yagami Rondo,” the man replied.  “Our family and yours were ancient allies, Tohsaka-san, so I felt it prudent to pay a visit.”

“Oh, really?” Tokiomi asked, not out of suspicion, but out of confusion. “Why would you feel the need to pay a visit?” Suddenly remembering his manners, he gestured and moved out of the way, saying, “Please, come in.”

After Rondo and his wife entered the manor, Tokiomi closed the door behind them, making sure to check the time of day and the weather outside. As one would expect this cold December day in Fuyuki City, the sun hadn’t even come out yet, which was something of a problem for people like him that didn’t do well in the morning. It wasn’t a snowy time, mind you, because of Fuyuki’s position in Japan.

After taking a bit to lead the Yagami couple to the living room, Tokiomi took a seat opposite them and asked, “What is it about your visiting that’s prudent, Yagami-san? Is it about a lack of children to train as Magi?”

Rondo frowned slightly.  “Yes, Tohsaka-san, it is,” he said. “My wife, Sakuya, is currently carrying our child, but I have a talent for Precognitive Magic, and have seen that while our daughter will have Magic, it will be a different kind than Magecraft.”

“Wait, hold up,” Tokiomi said, as if interrupting Rondo for a short bit. “You have a Sorcery Trait that allows for Precognition? It’s one of those rare traits that one should never be lost, but near impossible to achieve.” Upon seeing the looks directed at him, he said, “Er, anyway, please continue.”

Rondo nodded. “Furthermore, I haven’t managed to see anything suggesting that we will be around for our daughter, so we are worried that Sakuya will die in childbirth, or that something else will happen to take us from her life before we have another child.”

Tokiomi nodded, aware that it would be a problem for anyone, Magus or otherwise, to wonder what would happen to them while their child succeeds them at a young age. Still, there was a concern of his… “If you were to adopt a child, would you make sure that they were raised like a proper Magus as well as a regular child? I’m only asking, because I walk a very fine line between being a proper Magus and a good father, myself, and I don’t want to make things rough for your options.”

Rondo nodded again. “We would,” he said. “We would raise our adopted child as if they were our own.” He then paused a moment. “You have a child of your own, Tohsaka-san?”

“Two daughters, both of whom should be asleep right now,” Tokiomi admitted. “My younger daughter is about four right now, but without an elemental affinity that fits the mold, instead having a strange Sorcery Trait called Imaginary Numbers.”

Sakuya, speaking up for the first time, asked, “Imaginary Numbers? What’s that?”

Tokiomi looked at Sakuya and answered, “Imaginary Numbers is a trait dedicated to the usage of the Sixth Imaginary Element. In short, she can harness the power of spirits.”

Rondo looked intrigued despite himself. “May we see her?” he asked.

Tokiomi turned to look at Rondo and answered, “Certainly, if you feel so inclined to.” Before they could make it out of the room, however…

A gentle knocking was heard at the door to the living room, indicating one of his daughters. When he opened the door, Tokiomi was shocked to see that it was his younger daughter, Sakura. “Sakura, what’s wrong? Why are you out of bed?” he asked, showing a faint trace of worry in his voice that only Sakura could pick up on right now.

“Father… I… I had a strange dream,” Sakura answered. “In it… I had… w-w-worms crawling in and on me!”

Rondo looked at her. “That sounds ominous,” he mused. “Tell me, did you see anything else in the dream, little one?”

“Hmm?” Sakura got out, before looking at Rondo and Sakuya, then back at her father. “Father, who’re they?”

“They are family allies of ours, Sakura,” Tokiomi said, in a way that was meant to assure her of the truth. “Now, could you please humor us with details about the dream you may have experienced? I mean, including sight, especially.”

“Oh, right,” Sakura said, before breathing in a bit. “Uncle Kariya’s old man threw me into a pit filled with worms, and I was in the pit for three days before Uncle Kariya came to help me, but the old man threw him in, too… I hated it!”

“Where was this, Sakura?” Tokiomi asked, hoping to figure out the specifics of what she was seeing.

“It… it was the Matou manor, Father,” Sakura said, tears threatening to burst from her eyes. “Inside… inside their basement level, with many worms crawling over me!”

Tokiomi, because he wanted it to not be true, was still a bit sceptical of the whole thing. He needed a bit more information on what was potentially going to happen, so he asked, “When were you put in the basement?”

“J-j-january 27th of the upcoming year, Father,” Sakura said fearfully. She hoped that it wouldn’t be true after all… well, so that she was able to avoid it, anyway.

“That almost sounds like a Precognitive Dream,” Rondo remarked with a speculative scowl. “I can certainly recognize some of the signs...”

Tokiomi, perhaps in other renditions of the timeline, wouldn’t have believed Sakura about what the Matou family was like, but here? Well, he was willing to give her dream a chance. “Sakura, I promise you, the Matou family won’t get their hands on you like that,” he said, attempting to pat her head with hands that were not used to doing so.

“The Matou…” Rondo remarked, his scowl deepening. “Even I’ve heard of them - they’re the family that specializes in Crest Worms…”

Tokiomi blinked, then blinked again, and sighed in frustration. “Why were we allied with the Matous to begin with?” he asked himself. Turning to face Rondo and Sakuya, he asked, “Would you be willing to take care of Sakura and make her your heir?” Upon seeing a strange look from Sakura, he turned to her and said, “Don’t get me wrong, Sakura, I want to see you be an heir of Magecraft. It’s just impossible for you to be the Tohsaka family heir for reasons you might not understand. Besides, the Yagami family, the couple you see here, are worried that they might not have an appropriate heir in time, or so I’m understanding it.”

Sakura, even though she didn’t fully understand what her father was saying, simply nodded her head to say she understood.

Rondo and Sakuya looked to each other, seeming to hold a wordless conversation, before they nodded. “Of course,” Rondo said. “I think she would do well with us, much better than with the Matous, and I think she might also have a similar gift to mine, if she was able to see a vision of what would happen to her with the Matous…”

Tokiomi nodded solemnly at that, grateful for the agreement between the two of them, as he decided to talk with his wife, Aoi, about the change in residency for Sakura. Hopefully, given that Kariya wasn’t a fan of the Matou magecraft, he could help Sakura out on the off-chance that she and her future little sister were orphaned.

(Mostly just worried that I wrote Tokiomi wrong, and that Rondo is unlike a proper Magus, which is what Tokiomi looks for in fellow Magi... well, I mean, I'm worried I wrote him wrong in the context of this story.

Anyone willing to say what needs fixing?
)

3
Video Games / Home Brewed games (free or otherwise)
« on: May 30, 2014, 05:27:46 AM »
How this thread works: Give a description of how you found the game you'll advertise (if you'll be advertising), a bit about the game, and where to find it. For those that want to comment on the found game(s)... go wild (within reason). I'll start this off....

So, I was browsing the internet today, looking for things to do... when I found a nicely made home brewed game on Steam (called "Happy Birthday") that only took about two hours tops to play. To top it off, the game was free, so I decided to play it. It certainly didn't hurt that it was a Murder Mystery RPG.

The game starts with the crime, where a ten year old girl is running for her life, only to die by gunshot. Shortly after, a detective (or is it?) shows up to investigate, and... things get crazy from there. That's all I can say.

The game can be found here (off of Steam): http://rpgmaker.net/games/4839/.

So... if the mods and/or admins would be so kind as to list future advertisements in this and any of the following posts (up to the following four), I'd appreciate it, deeply.

4
Shirou Quest
Story written by Xamusel

A/N: Alright... because I forgot where I was going with the original attempt, I decided to start this over from the beginning, hopefully without making things go down the crapper. Now, before anyone asks, this will have erotic content involved eventually (I've been practicing ever since the one time I wrote an erotica one-shot recently, Elf, though I'd like it if you could please look over the erotica beforehand). In any case, I should have it clean of kinks (unless I get to a point where a kink is supposed to happen, in which case I'll need to really have Elf look over the scene before I write the stupid scene).

Now, anyway, there's a good reason for the tag in the title. I've half a mind to write this as if it were you guys playing a Tabletop RPG, but, as I don't want to confuse you intentionally, I'll be writing the fight scenes as they happen (dice roll by dice roll), while making sure you all figure out how the "game" goes. In any case, I'll be writing this under the assumption that you guys don't know the rules, so that you can follow along with rules decisions that I make.

Oh, wait, do you want to know what this will be crossed over with? Sorry... that's up to you guys to determine. However, just because it's a crossover, it doesn't mean that it is strictly a crossover pairing.

On a final note, each chapter will be a minimum of ten story posts long, starting with the one four story posts after the next physical post (the Table of Contents being this one). A story post, mind you, is a post that I label as a continuation of the story (based on a branching choice). The first four story posts will be the prologue... and the last six story posts will be the epilogue.

Anyway... LIGHTS!! CAMERA!! ACTION!!




Table of Contents:

Prologue:
Story Post 1
Story Post 2
Story Post 3
Story Post 4

5
Fanfiction / A thought came to mind for here
« on: April 11, 2014, 04:37:04 AM »
So, I was browsing TVTropes for a short bit, when I came across a thread on their forums. Given that it's a thread about fanfic authors and what they do with their writing, I decided to share my post in the thread in question, which you can find here.

Now... anyone have any thoughts about the topic of this thread and how it can apply to us here?

6
Road from Yesterday to Tomorrow

Plot of the Game: A group of characters (that would normally have nothing to do with each other) are stuck in the middle of a plot to destroy reality as we know it… and they seek to stop the plot, while they further their own agendas, whatever they may be. Can the heroes stop this plot that threatens to destroy reality? The clock is ticking….

Is it single player or multiplayer? Single player.

What are the mechanics? In essence, it is like Kingdom Hearts in mechanics, but without things like Gummi Ships or anything similar for world travel.

How is it played? Arrow keys for movement, ASDW keys for different actions in-game, and Space Bar for calling up the pause screen/player menu.

2D or 3D? 2D.

Which platforms will be supported? Windows and maybe anything else.

Who are the characters? Canon Nasuverse characters from the Tsukihime franchise and the Fate franchise, primarily the characters that live as of Sacchin Normal and Hollow Ataraxia... in other words, almost all the Nasu characters in that timeline (plus some original characters of the game creators' discretion).

Are they premade or will users generate them like in MMOs? All the characters in the game are premade.

Is the story linear? No. There are a minimum of four routes for the game to go through, and three endings per route, each being the Bad, Good, and True endings.

Will there be any known characters? Hell yeah! Most of the characters are known to the fandoms they represent!

Will there be any known musical themes in that case? Yes, especially if they're Nasu characters with said themes, because... what self-respecting Nasu enthusiast wouldn't have that happen?!

Who will be doing what on the game design team? Ah, right, almost forgot this question. I'm the project head and lead writer... and each team member is responsible for writing and handling a minimum of two characters. As point of reference:
  • Xamusel: Project Head/Lead Writer
  • Cherry Lover: Lead Programmer/Writer
And that's so far.

What all will this game be focused on, content-wise? The game will focus on Nasuverse and some other franchises, depending on what the group of writers agree on at the time. For example, it could easily focus on Nasuverse and Star Wars, as the bare minimum of what all it could focus on.

Anyone want to join the project?

7
Yes, you read this right, I'm thinking of rewriting a few of my stories and then posting them here. Of course, the stories I have up on my FFN profile aren't exactly related to TYPE-MOON, but I want to figure out what to rewrite and post here all the same.

Now, before you guys ask, I know that there's only two votes per user. I want you guys to vote for an item to rewrite and an item to start or continue writing, hence why there's only two votes per user. The top three items for rewriting are going to be rewritten, while the last one will be left alone for a while, given that I want to make sure that I can go back to the one left alone at a later date. However, the ones I'll be starting or continuing before they can be posted have to have one chosen from between them, because I don't want to stretch myself too thin.

For the stories that I'm thinking of rewriting, I'll post here what I have of the individual stories on FFN (with one exception, which should be obvious here, unless you can't find it on the forums after reading the poll options), and specifically here... meaning this thread. For the stories I haven't posted yet, I'll post some details regarding the individual story, and then leave it up to you guys to choose which story should be written by me.

Oh, one last thing I should mention, since it isn't obvious from how I'm typing this. I would like to have honest and expansive opinions of what I should be doing story-wise... so, would you please be good neighbors and give me the opinions based on what you voted for, so that I can easily avoid demanding things from you guys? I don't want to demand anything... far from it. In fact, if I get these honest and expansive opinions now, then I won't have to worry about thinking something stupid based on what the results show up.

So... may as well start off with the details regarding the unposted stories.



Zero Gamble is a spin-off of Fate's Gamble Chapter 49, where, instead of canon!Hogwarts before Fifth Year, Harry and Hermione from Fate's Gamble end up in canon!Fuyuki City the year before the Fourth Holy Grail War. Due to circumstances, Sakura avoids her canon fate, and Harry, due to being a mixture of Potterverse and Nasuverse magicals, is forced to participate in the War for the Makiri, especially if Hermione is supposed to live without either experimentation or the worms invading her... which, in this case, would kill her (non-Magus, thus no way for the Crest Worms to attach themselves to her, despite the fact that she's clearly magical... plus the fact that Zouken would literally kill to get his hands on how Hermione is capable of using "Magic"). Of course, Harry can't call Zelretch for help, otherwise Hermione dies and all of their stuff would be destroyed before Zouken goes at it with Harry.

As if that wasn't problematic enough, the Grail chooses Kariya to fight in the War, and this Kariya has Magecraft training from an outside source (more on this as potential chapters come out). Kariya demands to take Harry's place as the Makiri representative, though Zouken dismisses that demand, saying that there's no way Kariya can get a Servant... before letting it slip on how to perform the ritual for summoning one.

With the wheels of Fate on a heavily altered course, how will the world change, even as it nears its self-destruction?

Mobile Suit Gundam: SEEDs of Fate is a what-if of the events of Fate/Zero and so on taking place two centuries after they're supposed to... with some key differences involved. One such difference is that Waver ends up getting a back-up job for when he leaves the Grail War alive (he has an uncle who works for the Flanagan Institute in the Universal Century timeline that this is based on), while another difference is that Blue Cosmos (hey, the SEED part is from Gundam SEED, in case you were wondering) actually has accurate records of Kiritsugu's deeds... minus Magecraft being involved in those records. The most major key difference, though; Magecraft hadn't gotten nearly as weak as it should have (and, instead, had gotten stronger with the Reconstruction War killing off a lot of Humanity by that point... bringing Alaya's Magecraft Divide back to levels from the start of the Holy Grail Wars in canon).

What would this mean for the plots of Nasuverse and the combined timeline of UC and Cosmic Era? You'll have to read to find out.

Kingdom Hearts: A Retelling is a retelling of the whole Kingdom Hearts series, starting in chronological order 9 years before the events of Game 1 (and ending whenever the series ends... preferably with Kingdom Hearts 3), though with different circumstances... yet, what these circumstances are, I haven't planned them out yet. I do know that Ventus will play a part, as will Vanitas, but I don't have a clue what the rest of the circumstances are.

Naruto the Fox Knight is actually a Naruto/Nasuverse crossover where Naruto, due to circumstances in the orphanage, decides to camp out in the forest surrounding his home village. It is here where he encounters the Lady of the Lake (by picking the lake as a good camping spot), who gives him a chance at having something he never thought possible... a brother, Arthur Pendragon. There's just one catch... when Naruto nearly dies at the Battle of Camlann instead of Arthur, he gets offered a chance to fight in the Holy Grail War as a Servant by Alaya, thus going through the process of fighting in the Fourth and Fifth Holy Grail Wars with a gender flip (which, thankfully for Naruto's sanity, doesn't stick).

Thing is, I plan on the story being around 4 million words, given that there's a lot of ground to cover with that one... and, no, I won't pull a Gabriel Blessing on you guys (with any of these stories).



Now... to start this off, I'll post Naru Quest on this post, then I'll post the other two stories that I haven't posted here in this thread (one chapter at a time).



(Author's Note from Xamusel: I had thought to myself that this needed to be made to some degree, a quest-like story/Role Play where a character from the Naruto universe was the plaything of the community, and not necessarily in the good way. In fact, it wouldn't really be limited to the Naruto universe, it would include five other universes over the course of the quest. No, I won't say what those five other universes are now, but that's not important right now.

If you want to know what rules I'll be using for this story, I'll be using the Pathfinder ruleset, which is with less stupidity than D&D 4E and less complexity than Anima: Beyond Fantasy (both of which I own a copy of). In fact, I'll only be using the rules of Pathfinder, not the world of Golarion (or any third party world Paizo accepts). Also, I had it in mind that the Graduation age from the Ninja Academy in this particular setting would be 16, on the off-chance that there are things that needed to be accomplished by someone older than 12 (what with the class thing and all).

Also, aiding me in writing this is DragonKnightRyu, if anyone is wondering. He’ll be helping me with writing this particular one from the get-go, mostly because it has to do with specific stuff going on, like what the main character is.

On another note, this prologue chapter will be First Person Perspective, and then the next portions of story will be Third Person unless otherwise stated before the chapter.

Anyway, off to the story, people.)

Prologue: What goes around...

It was ten years since the Kyuubi no Youko was defeated by the Fourth Hokage, and it was the same amount of time since I was unfortunately, in my opinion, born. Close to nothing went right for me, given that most of my life was filled with neglect and looks of hatred (among other things). No, nothing like physical abuse ever happened, just the type of abuse that came with the emotional territory.

Still, if anything, I was given fair treatment by the should-be-retired Third Hokage and allowed to have a healthy lifestyle befit of a regular citizen. I didn't want to have any of the crap I dealt with normally, but at least it was better than nothing ever going right for me.

Now, the alarm clock started ringing, and I felt I was rudely awakened from a very nice dream regarding me winning a world-wide cooking competition... where did that come from? I blame the lack of a fourth wall in my dreams.

Upon hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock, I get out of bed, moving to get dressed and ready for the day. Today was my first day of going to the Ninja Academy, and I wanted to be there at a decent time, at the very least.

After getting ready for the day, I stepped out the door and made for the Academy, making sure to lock up the property this time. With the latest string of break-ins happening, I didn't want to be the target of thieves, Ninja or otherwise.

XxX

Finally, after a good half an hour, I got to the academy and get registered. Of course, I had to be registered with an ANBU overlooking me for the headmaster's peace of mind, but that's besides the point. I then got assigned a classroom to learn from for all my time in the academy, one that essentially was almost full of girls, with only one guy in the classroom. From the looks of it, most of the girls were eyeing the single guy in the classroom with awe, or maybe it was a junior form of lust.

Great, fangirls, a ninja’s worst enemy.

Still, I want to be a successful ninja, not a part of the crowd. Therefore, I’ll be paying attention to my studies, even if it seems like my instructors want nothing more than to force me to fail. That way, I can really exceed expectations of the female population, and from there prove that I can be a proper kunoichi on par with the legendary Tsunade of the Sannin.

Now... it’s time to start focusing on what options of the ninja lifestyle I want for myself. Before the instructors decided to do anything in regards to teaching us anything, they gave us each some papers that they said would help us determine what our overall objectives would be in the Ninja program, mostly because of the need for a written test to see where we’d be best placed. It was something that I decided was only there because of the civilian council, nothing more, nothing less.

Eventually, I finished my test, leaving me with some free time to listen in on the various rumors floating around with the girls. For the majority of what they were talking about, it was utter crap, but then there was some truth to the whole thing going on in there. For instance, the rumor about the thieves said that it was a group of ninja that dared to steal from their village, but nobody had proof to back it up. However, there was one rumor that caught my interest, about where the next robbery would take place. Apparently, the next robbery was stated to take place next to where I live, but only because someone was interested in a notebook full of seals for something.

After turning in my test results, I move back to my seat, which was right next to the boy in the room because it was the only seat left available. As it turns out, this boy, a Hyuuga clansman named Hito, was a sweet boy who didn’t want anything like the fanclub he had, because he just wanted a friend first and foremost. I agreed to be his friend, mostly because he was a genuinely good guy that needed friends more than false romance, which I figured was never a good thing.

Finally, the test results came in, and my test showed up to be....

XxX

A year has passed since the time that I got my initial test results, and things have gone from bad to good in a short amount of time since I came here. For starters, I got more friends than just Hyuuga Hito, including his twin sister Hinata, who’s a sweet girl as well as a practitioner in the forgotten form of the Jyuuken, where one has to have graceful movements in order to fight at maximum potential. Another of my friends is a girl named Haruno Sakura, who I helped get out of her bookwormish ways as she helped me get out of the curse of lack of knowledge, which I’m glad that she helped me with.

Then there’s a rather nice Uchiha who goes by the name of Usagi, a momma’s girl if there ever was one, mostly because of her desire to be more like her mother than her father. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have a mother and father, but I can only imagine that it would be something amazing, if anything. Her hair, while long like girl’s hair is supposed to be, is pitch black and goes down to her shoulderblades. Her onyx eyes showed the signs that she hasn’t awakened the Sharingan quite yet, and probably won’t for quite a while, if her history is any indication.

Then there’s my instructor, Umino Iruka, who acts like a big brother to all my classmates, but especially so to me. Something tells me that it has to do with my status of being an orphan, but I wouldn’t know quite yet. If he were ever asked about his preference in students, I’d guess that he’d prefer students that didn’t prank their way into a mess, like I was taught not to do if I wanted to be a good candidate for the title of Hokage.

Finally, there’s one person that is on my friends list that I don’t know how she got on there, but her being on the list has been a major boon to me over the course of the last year. Her name....

“Hey, Uzumaki, how’s life treating you?” a cheerful voice asked from behind me, making me turn around to look at the person in question.

...is Yamanaka Ino, and she’s a major rumor monger who isn’t afraid to get the latest scoop for the class. So far, she’s had a 99.99% accuracy rating with her rumors, with only one time being wrong at all... and that was her first rumor to obtain. Apparently someone wanted to discredit the headmaster for trying to make me do something I was against, which also coincided with what my training was against, as it turns out.

As far as why she calls me by my surname all the time, well, it’s something of a habit of hers that she got from a computer game that she has no idea how she got it. Last I heard about this game, though, it was because her parents confiscated it from her for being an Adult Only game about killing Vampires and other such things... plus the sex involved.

Still, I have to reply to her, especially since she knows not to make rumors about me.

“It’s not going bad, per se,” I tell her. “It’s also not going good, so that makes it neutral, above all else.”

Really, what was I supposed to say? I don’t have anything against life in general, nor do I have anything against Konoha in general. This just cemented the feeling of neutrality in my mind.

“By the way, when exactly are you going to call me by my given name of Naru, Ino?” I couldn’t help but ask her. I mean, given that we’ve been friends for a good portion of the time we’ve been in the Academy, she has every right to call me by my given name.

With a shocked expression on her face, Ino brought both her hands to her face. She obviously hadn’t expected that question at all, otherwise she wouldn’t be acting the way she is, if anything.

“Uzumaki, really, do you think I’d call you by a sacred name like that?!” She yelled in askance.

Blinking, I was about to ask her what she meant by that, when I remembered that she holds nearly everything about me sacred. For whatever reason, I think she’s worshipping me behind my back, which I don’t like.

Finally, as if to give me reprieve of Ino, I heard Iruka-sensei call roll and allow me to go back to the lessons on hand.

XxX

Third Person Perspective

A strange man walked right past the guards of Konoha, the Eternal Chuunin Izumo and Kotetsu, as if he didn’t exist in their sight. This man, wearing a black cloak over his body and face, stood at roughly 6’5”, and if one looked hard enough, one could see his Hazel eyes. While it seemed like there were no weapons on his person, he was in fact heavily trained to use his body as a weapon, and had a Zweihander sealed away in his back on the off-chance that he needed a weapon as an extension of his body.

He also knew how to use Illusionary arts to the maximum advantage, meaning that his ability to stay hidden until needed was at top form, regardless of what he may say about his own abilities. That may have aided his getting past the guards, but he didn’t want to rely solely on such an ability, if he could avoid it.

Reaching his right hand into one of his many torso pockets, he pulled out a locket, which he proceeded to open when he had his eyes on the cover. What he saw was beautiful, even to him, someone that had been on the road for far too long.

A picture of he and his friend’s sister was portrayed, the man looking like he wasn’t even six years old at the time, with dark brown hair and a smirk on his face, and the female in her early teens and with beautiful red hair and a joyous smile, her eyes closed to prevent eye color from being shown.

A single tear left his right eye, as he said mostly to himself, “Kushina... I’ll find you or whoever you have as family, and I’ll protect you or whoever else, with my life!”

XxX

All in all it was a quiet day in Konohagakure... but little did the inhabitants of this Shinobi Village, little did the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Youko, Uzumaki Naru know, how this peace was all about to change as the flow of time wiped away the world as they knew it and remade it anew.

(Well Everyone, this is DragonKnightRyu, I’m giving Xamusel a hand with this new story, apparently I’m some sort of Gender Bender expert... and looking back I can definitely see why... huh, has to be some sort of unresolved psychological issues in that... ah well nothing a good dose of alcohol won’t fix!

Anyways Xammy here is making this story a CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE! (Coughs slightly) Basically your votes affect the outcome of the story! So choose wisely, you may end up sending all the characters to a horrible gruesome death that I will take far too much pleasure in describing...

… Yeah, serious issues here... Anything to add Xam?

Xamusel: Actually, as a matter of fact, I do have something to add. The first of the CYOA stuff is going in a poll, namely to ask about what you all feel will be Naru’s ultimate class apart from Kunoichi, which, as far as I’m aware, isn’t really a Pathfinder class to begin with. Therefore, DKR and I decided to make an analogy of sorts with the actual classes and make sure that there’s a way to bridge the gap, so that way everyone can understand what each class is supposed to be in Naruto terms.

By the way, the poll is on my profile, not DKR’s profile. I wonder when he’ll update his profile to reflect any new changes?

DKR: (Coughs) Well... I mean to... but I work in Restoration, so whenever there’s a Flood I typically get an emergency call to get out, especially during the rainy season, which it currently is, so I’ve been busy, only thanks to Take and Jorn that I’ve managed to update as often as I have... (Sighs) My job eats my life...

Xamusel: Hey, you’re lucky you actually have a full-time job, I only have a paying job of one hour a week right now. My other job’s a volunteer gig at a local camp.

Anyway, enough about that, back to the story. What’s next to come is going to be a chance meeting with the guy that seems to know something about Kushina, but not all the details. Is anyone going to fill him in on her death by the Sealing technique, or is Fate really different for her?

Really, I have to determine that part, but I won’t be putting it up as a poll at all.

DKR: In other words a...



... CLIFFHANGER!!!

Xamusel: Yeah, that was worth a couple chuckles when I read that, though I think that’s up for debate. (ahem) Now... let’s get our asses on the line for the next chapter, shall we, DKR?

DKR: DRUNKEN WRITING FRENZY... AWAY!)

8
Suggestions / Character Count Limits?
« on: December 16, 2013, 10:52:14 PM »
Before I start this thread's suggestion, I'd like to give a bit of backstory, and ask a question.

For those of you who know me as an author, I tend to write big chapters, at least by amount of words per chapter. If I ever write below something like 6-7k words, it's because it's supposed to be a simple prologue, meant to introduce a few things.

Now, I dunno how many characters are in each word of my chapters on average, but I'd assume something like 4-6 characters per word. In any case, my question is this: What's the limit on character count per forum post supposed to be, and is there ever a good reason to up the limit?

My reason for asking is because I don't want to split up a chapter at an inopportune time in the story.... that make sense?

My suggestion for this thread is that the forum has an upper limit of 250k characters (counting spaces) per post. That way, stuff like RolePlays get to have longer introductory posts, and nobody gets mad that their chapters are too long (okay, I'll be honest, that's just a number based on the current size of one of my documents in character amount... and it's all the same story, with multiple chapters in it, so that I know where it all is... the current number of characters in that document is 246821 characters with spaces attached).

9
Suggestions / WYSIWYG feature needs improvement
« on: December 16, 2013, 10:25:01 PM »
The following is a story snippet for this site that has been done right (meaning, follows the BBCode format to the letter, no strings attached):

Road to Tomorrow
story written by Xamusel

Disclaimer: The following sources are property of Kinoko Nasu; Tsukihime, Fate/Zero (regardless of who wrote the books for that initially), and Fate/stay Night. The following source is property of Anima Games Studio and Fantasy Flight Games; Anima: Beyond Fantasy. The following source is property of Paizo Publishing; Pathfinder Role-Playing Game. The following source is property of Wizards of the Coast; Dungeons and Dragons. The following source is property of LucasFilms, LucasArts, LucasBooks and whoever manages to acquire a license with any of them (even Disney counts in that field); Star Wars. Any other source material will be given their own disclaimer in later chapters. The only things that I own about this fanfic are the plot and the original characters (no, wait, scratch that… two of them aren’t even mine, my friend Cody being one of them, the other being myself).

Prologue: Games of Tricksters

Callistria, Goddess of trickery, lust, and revenge, was not in a good mood.

No, this had nothing to do with the fact that she was a Chaotic Neutral deity, even if she wondered what exactly that meant. It more had to do with the fact that she was experimenting with her magic in the domain of trickery and something… strange, for lack of a better word, happened.

It had been 95 years since the death of Aroden, the Last Azlant and first Living God to have ascended from being a mortal, and many things had gone awry in the world of Golarion by means of his death.



The following is the currently in-production chapter of Fantasy Unleashed (a Naruto fanfic that normally won't go here) in the site's WYSIWYG format... care to spot what happened wrong?

Xamusel Thirteenth A/N: Alright, first chapter to not have the Pilot label attached to it, and the first chapter to be in a proper story arc that didn’t act as a prologue. In this chapter, we’ll explore the repercussions of what happened in the previous chapters with the other major Shinobi Powers, and then backtrack to Konoha for most of the end of the chapter… with a surprise waiting for the last couple scenes.
Now… onto the story!
XxX
Story Arc 1: What it means to live
Chapter 1
Worldly Repercussions
Outside the walls of Sunagakure no Sato, Kaze no Kuni
It was a calm night on the road to and from Sunagakure no Sato. There wasn’t a sighting of monsters in either direction for fifty miles down the road.  The night time combat patrol hadn’t had any encounters yet either.

...oh, crap, the WYSIWYG actually WORKS!! However, the BBCode it produces looks really crappy, as any moderator or admin who looks at it can attest to (I'm not modifying it to make it look good).

10
I may as well do this, seeing as GabriellioSP is nowhere to be found here, and he was doing a picture-based Let's Play. Anyway... from the beginning.

What is Shin Megami Tensei: Persona? Shin Megami Tensei: Persona is the name of a video game, the first in the Persona series, and is the father of the franchise. The grandfather, on the other hand, is Shin Megami Tensei: if... (or so KAIZA and I have discussed about the timeline of Persona). Shin Megami Tensei: if... is speculated to have been succeeded in the timeline by the first two Devil Summoner games (the ones not released outside of Japan).

As far as continuity story goes, SMT: if... was about a school being dragged down to Hell (which, in SMT world, actually exists), and the protagonists having to fight their way out and defeat the mastermind behind it (who happens to be a fellow student). It averts things in the first two mainline SMT games, and manages to keep things from going into crapsack territory real fast, until the events of the Persona series at least.

Will we have to listen to your crappy voice for this Let's Play? Is my voice really that bad? If so, I'll refrain from speaking during my playtime of this game after the first video, honestly.

Where's the first video? Ah, right here, hang on.

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona LP (01 of ??)


Well... enjoy?

EDIT: First video got replaced for something that would actually stay on YouTube (for the most part). Thoughts on the video?

11
Fanfiction / In need of some major story assistance
« on: November 22, 2013, 03:01:24 AM »
You see, I had gotten (mostly) done with writing a scene that involves mixing the Nasuverse and a more Shounen series, though it's a bit heavy on the other series right now. Anyway, at present, I'm working on seeing about getting the scene cleaned up... however, the main thing I want fixed out of it is whatever's wrong with my characterization of the Nasuverse character, Tohno Shiki. Everything else is not quite as important, but still important, anyway.

===

Naruto and Yamiko made it to her apartment when they heard a meowing sound coming from within. As soon as they heard it, Naruto turned to face her and asked, “Do you have a cat?”

“No, I don’t,” Yamiko answered truthfully a confused look on her face.

At that, both blinked in realization, with Naruto holding Yamiko’s groceries while she unlocked her door and opened it. With the doorway open, both of them made their way to where the meowing came from.  They soon found the room and found themselves looking at a tiger cub helplessly trapped in Yamiko and Mika’s laundry much to the girl’s mortification.

“DON’T LOOK!” Yamiko shouted as she shoved Naruto back, but the tiger heard her and panicked and shot out of the room bowling both kids over and leaving a trail of laundry in its wake.

“The heck?” Naruto pulled one piece of cloth off his face, fearing the worse and released a sigh of relief when he saw it was a pair of shorts and not something more terrifying, like bloomers or underwear.

He still carried the occasional phantom pain from when he held a pair of his mother’s ‘special’ panties she had gotten from his father in front of several others.

He also understood that Uchiha Mikoto still ribbed her longtime friend over the incident too.

“NARUTO-KUN!” Yamiko shouted, not caring that they were only shorts; her face was redder than Kushina’s hair at that point.

Naruto wisely changed the subject as he got to his feet and started chasing the tiger cub, “On it!” he shouted chasing it around the apartment flat, “Get back here you!”

It was rather comical how the tiger cub led Naruto on a chase around the apartment.  Yamiko could only sit where she had fallen and watched as Naruto tried repeatedly to catch the tiger.  She watched him bounce off walls, run on them, crash through things, at one point slam into the refrigerator's door, dive head first into a chair, slip on some trash that got knocked free, and eventually make a successful diving tackle…

...right into her.

“Na-ru-to-kun,” Yamiko felt her eye twitch as she recovered from the pain, but then notice something in Naruto’s arms.

“Got you, believe it, ehehe,” and sure enough, he had the tiger cub firmly in his arms and it was a big cub at that.

The cub had teal-colored fur, with silver stripes evenly placed, though the most distinguishing thing about it was its sparkling grey eyes. It was these eyes that showed its innocence in life that sparkled through.  It was hardly a dangerous animal, just lost and scared.  Yamiko’s heart went out to the tiger cub and she felt that Naruto holding it tightly was a crime against nature.

“Yamiko-chan?” Naruto looked to her confused, “I don’t recognize this breed of tiger.”

The blonde girl blinked her green eyes and then took in the appearance of the tiger.  As she looked it over, she felt her jaw drop.  She had not expected to run into such a tiger in the Hidden Leaf of all places.  It was just so unexpected that she was at a loss for words.

Mika, who had been resting until the ruckus started, was not though.

“That is a purebred Uzushiogakure-based Sea Tiger,” the blue haired girl, since Naruto didn’t know she was a golem, stated as she eyed the tiger cub and collecting some base stats on observation alone.  “I would judge this one to be at least several months old, nearly four feet in length, roughly two point five in height, and weighing between 50-80 pounds,” she stopped, observing the fur coat, “and likely illegally born and raised in captivity.”

“Illegally?” Naruto squinted his eyes, making him look like a fox as he tried to understand what Mika meant.

“Correct, illegally,” Mika responded and saw the confusion Naruto had and strangely felt the desire to sigh, but carried on, “Uzushiogakure Sea Tigers are extremely rare and endangered resulting in only legal institutions such as publics zoos, wild animal preserves, and such to have them.”

“Oh, okay,” Naruto understood that and his next question was an obvious one, “How did this fella come to be in your apartment?”

“Unknown, but investigation will likely uncover the truth,” Mika replied as she looked at the tiger and noticed a few other things, “This tiger appears to have only recently fled, leaving a high,” the front door was suddenly blown in, “probability that its illegal owners are still searching for it,” concluded without a slight bit of being perturbed.

In strode the smugglers who looked less than pleased about the run around.  Though they smirked as they saw it was only a trio of kids with their loose prey.  It would be simple as taking candy from a baby.

Too bad for them, they forgot several important details.

The first thing they forgot was that this was a ninja village.  You just don’t go knocking holes in walls and blowing doors off their hinges here.  These were simple folk of the farmlands or streetwise city slickers.  The former wished for peace and the latter knew better than to pick fights they could not hope to win.

But!  These were ninja.  And they were trained for battle.  Trained to fight from an early age.  Even a civilian of a ninja village was not someone you wanted to cross unless you held a distinct advantage and even then, you had to be wary.

Just because they didn’t have Chakra, didn’t mean they didn’t know ninja tricks or taijutsu.

The second, and most important, thing they forgot was that the ninja in question were related to the current Hokage, and their word meant more to her than anything else, especially the word of the smugglers. This was especially a problem for the idiots that thought that they could barge in the apartment to begin with.

As the lead smuggler brought out a switchblade and flipped out the blade, his cronies brought out tantos, obviously normal ones compared to the stuff used by ninjas. That was when they barged on into the apartment, the leader saying, “Okay, kiddies, it’s time to return our property back to us.” Pointing at Naruto with his free hand, the leader continued, “That tiger cub in your arms, boy? Yeah, it’s ours. If you want to live, you’ll have to give the tiger back, and—”

It was at that point that the Sea Tiger growled at the smugglers, signifying that these were the ones it was escaping from, before it leapt away from the immediate area and ran off to the window.

“Get the tiger!” The leader yelled at his eight goons, expecting things to go easily for them.

When they attempted to get past Naruto and the actual residents of the apartment, Naruto kicked one in the torso with a scissor kick while punching another with a straight left, while Yamiko and Mika each knocked down the remaining six that were upright with disabling blows. With that, the fight was over—

“Heh… you think that’s enough to take out my boys? You’re sadly mistaken, brats!”

—or so Naruto and the girls thought, until the eight smugglers that went down came right back up, weapons mysteriously back in hand. With the fight resumed all of a sudden, Naruto, Yamiko and Mika were hard-pressed to keep the home field advantage, as the smugglers charged at the three of them with twice the energy as before.

The smugglers teamed up on Yamiko, Mika and Naruto, beating them with the flats of their tantos. The beating lasted for roughly fifteen seconds, before Naruto overpowered his bunch and threw the whole lot of them towards the door, where the lead smuggler was. As they piled in front of their leader, Naruto finally got a feeling that the smugglers were far from normal humans, though he was having trouble pinpointing the exact nature of the smugglers with his extra sensing abilities.

While the smugglers were struggling to get back up from that one, Mika took the time to see about finding them in her database, the one of people that came from the immediate area. As she did so….

“Oi! Get your sorry asses off the ground and each other, and get back in the fight!” the lead smuggler yelled, starting to lose patience with his goons.

It was at this time that Naruto finally got a lock on the smugglers nature, making him gasp in surprise as he realized the truth. “Guys, we got youkai here!” he yelled to alert Yamiko and Mika.

“Heh! You figured us out, huh? Sorry to ruin your realization, but, now that you know the truth, none of you will be leaving here alive!!” The lead smuggler declared, before snapping his fingers of his free hand and the men stood back up before, in a quick burst of energy, transformed into thin monsters that were vaguely human in appearance with small horns sticking out of their foreheads with long forked tongues darting out of fanged mouths as skeletal wings appeared covered in thin leather skins and they reached forward with clawed three fingered hands.

“Oh you have to be kidding me,” Naruto looked at the youkai with their unnaturally bulging eyes centered on them, “What part of demons being scared of Uzumaki did this guy not get?”

“Eh?” the leading ‘smuggler’ blinked just before Yamiko pulled her guns out and a hail of energy sent the lot back into him.

“I believe that will only make them angry,” Mika intoned a fact as the leader could be heard growling darkly, “But as a means to an end, it has sufficed.”

“Yep,” Naruto knew what would come next…

“GET THEM!” the ‘smuggler’ shouted and the monsters rushed forward.

The monsters reached them and they began to thrash the three youths.  Despite that, the three were giving as well as they got.  Though it was clear that the power difference was a great chasm that couldn’t be overcome in that moment.

Naruto was beset by four of the monsters, since he was proving to be the most durable and stubborn one.  He managed to clock one right in the face and actually knock some teeth out.  Then he elbowed another into one of its companions.  But he was still outnumbered and the strength difference was huge.

Naruto was knocked down and then mercilessly pummelled.  He was picked up by one and smashed through the wall, coughing up blood in the process, before being thrown across the room.  One immediately punched him as he staggered back to his feet.  Then another blindsided him with a shoulder charge and he was done and again, being punched and kicked when one brought its clawed hand up for the kill.

Mika was proving not as durable as Naruto, but enough so that one of Naruto’s opponents had to peel off to fight her as well.  Mika was crashed through a wall into an adjoining apartment, the family there hiding in the back room could only shake in terror as Mika screamed as she was relentlessly attacked before she was slammed into the walkway through another wall.

Nevertheless, she had managed to break the arm of one opponent and knock another briefly senseless with her tonfas long enough to smash the hand of the third before being overpowered as the monsters regenerated or recovered.

Yamiko managed to remove the eye of one of the monsters with a lucky shot and her fire slowed her opponents until they crossed their wings over them and charged.  She was smashed back into the laundry room and then hurled back into the entryway.  She managed another shot that took a horn from the second attacker, but then they were all over her.

“I guess we’ll have to burn the building and kill everyone here,” the leader said, shrugging as he did so.

Naruto, despite being about to die, glared defiantly and said, “You… you f—”

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!” an older male voice roared, before an alarm clock was launched at the leader at such a high speed that, quite literally, clocked him as said device broke in two.

That unexpected action stopped the one-sided combat long enough to reveal a young man of around 17, in a blue school uniform, with black hair and gray eyes behind his glasses, storming towards where the leader fell, the switchblade still in his hand. By the time the monsters started processing the scene in front of them, the young man snatched the knife away from the leader and yelled, “You stole my switchblade!”

Upon noticing the monsters, the young man said to the aggressors, “Since when did you feel the need to beat up little kids? Put them down, and come at me….” Reaching for his glasses, he took them off, eyes closed as he did so, before opening his eyes to show that they changed from gray to a brilliant indigo, leading him to say, “...if you dare.”

With a roar, the monsters dropped Naruto, Yamiko and Mika, before charging at the interloper. Expecting an easy time against the new guy, they charged and then circled him, preparing to clobber him in a few blows, if even that.

“閃鞘 (Sensa),” the newcomer intoned, before he slashed at the monster in front of him blindingly fast. When he moved his knife hand closer to his body, he jumped up and over the monster, kicking the entity in the back and revealing that it was cleaved into 18 pieces.

By that point, the other monsters were quick to realize that they weren’t fighting a regular person, though they were still inclined to kill him.

As the young man saw them charge him, he smirked, saying, “You seem quite eager to die, you do realize.” With that, he ran towards the monsters, slashing one in an upper diagonal from his left to his right, stabbing another in a place in its chest that caused that specific monster to die and vanish at the same time, slashing a third from the creature’s right side of the neck to the left side of its abdomen, slicing a fourth from its left shoulder to its right foot, dicing a fifth into five pieces, stabbing a sixth in a different place from the chest of the second one (in this case, the tailbone area) and making that one die and vanish, and cutting the last of the mooks in a somewhat straight line down the middle.

The leader, having gotten up from being clocked very shortly after the last of his mooks died, growled before roaring in rage, transforming into a monster like what his goons were, only more beefy, taller, and with five clawed hands with full wings. When he revealed his true form, he yelled, “Prepare to DIE, PUNY HUMAN!!”

“Eh, you wouldn’t be the first to say something like that, bastard. You think you can actually succeed in killing me, though?” the young man asked the monster, before jumping in a backwards somersault towards where he started killing the goons. Before the move could be questioned, the young man intoned, “閃走 (Sensō)”.

As soon as the intoning happened, he almost teleported to right within the guard of the monster, having ran that fast in less than a second. With a few swipes of his switchblade, he defeated the leader, though allowing the monster to live for a few seconds.

“Who… who are you?” were the last words of the monster, before the life faded from its eyes.

“My name is Shiki,” the young man answered, putting his glasses back on. “Tohno Shiki.”

===

So... yeah. Help?

12
Fanfiction / Gundam: SEEDed Chronicles of 00 (Revised)
« on: November 13, 2013, 07:51:47 PM »
Gundam: SEEDed Chronicles of 00
Story written by Xamusel and NEBSparky86
Original story written by UltimateGundamFighter… credit for the initial idea goes to whoever they are

Disclaimer: The original Gundam franchises used from this point on are owned by Sunrise and the individual studios run by said company. The Universal Century is registered to Yoshiyuki "Kill 'em All" Tomino, the Cosmic Era timeline is registered to Fukuda (the bastard doesn't deserve it), and the Anno Domini timeline (not the one we live in) is registered to Ikeda. Any other franchise that I use is owned by the respective company or individual that came up with the idea for each franchise. What I own is the plotline for this story and any original characters and Mobile Units that may be used (that I make myself). I also claim ownership for specific concepts in this story that will be explained in-story as it progresses. If, for whatever reason, you see the concepts used in a commercial franchise, then know that I made the product line for that commercial franchise, because I'm something of an entrepreneur like that.

Forward Note: I, the author, am prone to fits of going over things already published to fix things that would normally be inconsequential. If you didn't see this the first time you read this, you can understand why I say it now, at least. While nobody alive is perfect, I strive to be as close to it as I can, at least.

GN-000: Origins

CE 65, Republic of Krugis

In the Middle Eastern country of Krugis, gunfire could be heard coming from the decrepit ruins of a town. The battlefield was littered with the bodies of religious men and women, housewives, soldiers, refugees, even children! It was a mess of anyone and everyone from the local area; along with the still smoking wreckage of countless fallen Mobile Suits from the Republic of East Asia called Anfs. It looked like this country was being absorbed into another through war, and the war was between Krugis and the REA.

In truth, the war was between Krugis and its immediate neighbor, Azidistan. Some power-hungry part of the government of Azidistan thought it was a good idea to invade Krugis. As the months wore on and their armies dwindled; Krugis, out of sheer desperation and the need to survive turned to a man; a man who turned the children of their nation into child soldiers through indoctrination and brainwashing. In regards to these children....

"This battle is a holy war in the name of God," crackled the voice of the leader of the child soldiers through the old-time radios. Two child soldiers rushed towards an Anf that had suddenly noticed their position; with raised automatic rifles, they fired a burst of rounds at the Mobile Suit.

"We shall strike down the infidels who disrespect our traditions and lay waste to the land of God," he continued, indifferent to the soldier's plight. Almost all of them were dead, adding yet more innocent lives to the innumerable lives already taken by this war. As the Anfs continued to march forward, looking for more opponents, they didn’t see the one surviving child soldier who lived on, panting behind a wall, their gun at the ready.

"We must not submit to the infidels," was heard, as an older model of Mobile Suit fired on the invading army. An Anf destroyed another of the older models near the remaining child soldier's shelter, causing her to come out of hiding and fire her rifle before an explosion from behind her forced her into the air, landing a few meters away.

"By dying in battle, we shall be led into the presence of God," the leader finished his broadcast for the time being. The child soldier moved away from the Anfs that were in front of her, taking further shelter behind a different wall. As she sat behind the wall, her messy black hair and tanned skin complementing each other to accent her natural beauty, she raised her head to uncover her cold brownish chestnut eyes, cold from the effects of living as a child soldier, and colder still because of the lack of love in her life which led her to this deathly fate. It was in this land which once rang with the laughter of its children but now only trembled with the sounds of thundering weapons fire as the children lay dead or dying… and yet, this was the land she called home.

'In this world, there is no God!' That thought was that of one that had been freed from brainwashing by a supposed religious man, one that was leading children like her to die in a so-called ‘holy’ war. When images of she and her brother, Qutan Ibrahim, flashed through her mind, she felt the pain of losing him still to this day, mainly because of the spiritual link that they had as twins. Saleema Ibrahim was not going to distract herself for long, however, as missiles could be heard from nearby launching from another of the older model of Mobile Suits. As the missiles hit an Anf, the targeted Anf turned its attention towards Saleema's position, firing a 30mm machine gun from under the head unit in her direction.

Saleema, as if by divine grace or providence, knew that she needed to duck to avoid the shots. As soon as she dodged, the wall behind her was riddled with holes by the Anf’s gunfire. Once the barrage subsided, she ran away from this exposed position, gunfire still ringing in her ears; grateful to still be alive.

"This battle is a holy war in the name of God," spoke the voice of the leader again. It was as if he didn't care for the fate of his loyal followers in the slightest.

Saleema, though, thought once more; 'In this world, there IS no God!'

"We shall strike down the infidels who disrespect our traditions and lay waste to the land of God," were the last words ever heard from the leader by Saleema or anyone else. As Saleema ran through the town and did her absolute best to survive. Machine gun fire chased her down rubble strewn streets and former hallways as she desperately dodged the incoming rounds until she finally made it to cover in another enclosed space, but one that still provided her a view of the battlefield. When movement was caught out of the corner of her right eye, she turned her head to see that an Amf had noticed her position in the city, making her shrink back in terror as she sensed her own death fast approaching.

With the machine gun lowered and ready to fire, it seemed that the pilot would kill her then and there. Suddenly a purple beam of energy ripped through the Anf’s head; disabling it permanently. Though Saleema saw this happen; she almost couldn’t believe her eyes as similar beams of energy fell to crush her enemies. Fearing that her position may have been compromised, she stood up, aiming her rifle in seemingly random directions until she decided to look up for the potential enemy. What she saw amazed her….

XxX

CE 68, Copernicus City on the Moon

In a park near the residential block of the Lunar City, two friends, both of whom were far removed from the conflict that was brewing in the Earth Sphere, were parting for what seemed an eternity. The friends stood face to face. Athrun Zala’s emerald green eyes, despite his sadness, shown clear. Sitting in the palm of his hands was a mechanical bird which he held out to Kira Yamato. As he held the pet robot in his hands, Athrun said to Kira, "The PLANTs and Earth will see eye to eye. There will be no war."

Birdy hopped over to the hands of its new owner, who graciously accepted it. They knew that their task was complete. Athrun made them promise to never leave the bird alone, then said, “The Evacuation order doesn’t mean a thing.” Then he added, "You'll join me in the PLANTs, right, Kira?"

“Athrun,” Kira said, “thank you, but you know full well that my parents won’t let me go out on my own. It would be nearly impossible for me to join you in the PLANTs. And I don’t want to have to tell you ‘I told you so’ if war breaks out.”

Athrun looked at Kira. It was as if he were seeing his friend for the first time, and he began to wonder… Though they had known one another for months, this thought was completely new to him -- was it possible that Kira was not a boy, but a girl? Kira’s boyish figure was subtly beginning to take on the look of a young woman, and the voice, rather than getting deeper, was the same as before. How could he have missed this basic truth about his best friend? ‘Man, am I ever a fool,’ thought Athrun.

“Kira,” he said, “I’ve got a crazy question for you. Are you a boy or a girl?”

“What? You don’t know?” Kira shot back. With that, she drew herself up on her tiptoes, grabbed him by the shoulders, and planted a kiss on his lips. She dropped her hands and stepped back, her face crimson red. “Last time I checked,” she said, “girls didn’t change their voice. We’ll meet again.” With that, she ran off to her family.

Athrun stood dumbfounded as he place a hand to his mouth, unsure of what to make of the obviously female act from his previously thought-of male friend. Without realizing the repercussions, and without knowing he was blushing at this thought, Athrun said to himself, “I hope you realize that I’ll be finding you and claiming you as mine, Kira-chan.”

XxX

January 14th, CE 70, L3 Area

It was a relatively calm time for the neutral colonies in the Lagrange 3 area. Not only were they out of the way of the war that was brewing between the Earth and the PLANTs, but there was nothing that would bring the forces of the Earth to them, unless something huge happened to bring them there. Fortunately, nothing out of the ordinary was going to happen, especially not-

Suddenly, something out of the ordinary did happen, namely an explosion of such force and power that it acted like a miniature sun in brightness and knocked the Orb Union colony of Heliopolis away from its position in geosynchronous orbit with Earth by a couple hundred kilometers. Heliopolis wasn't knocked far enough away from its original position to lose orbiting status. When it was able to confirm its new position in L3, the colony control station found that there was a strange set of visitors in the area which they had been forced to vacate, namely, seven O’Neil Island 3-class space colonies that weren't there before!

XxX

In L1

Within the Agamemnon-class Theodore Roosevelt, a good Admiral, Justin Barkley, was being pestered by Captain Morel Nathans, his XO aligned with Blue Cosmos, to lead an offensive against the PLANTs with their Moebius Units. As for that conversation….

“Admiral Barkley, sir, we do not need to wait for Washington to give us the order to destroy those Patchworkers! Especially since the Patchworkers are always planning to do things that would destroy us with pure genetics!” Nathans went on with that tirade of Blue Cosmos for a good while, and Barkley was getting tired of it, though he had to play the part of being loyal to BC.

It was at that moment that the communications officer got a beeping on his station. Admiral Barkley, hearing the beeping, interrupted Nathans. “Hold on a moment, what’s the beeping about? Did we get a message from the homeland?”

The communications officer nodded, saying, “The message is from Fleet Admiral Dubal, representative of LOGOS, sir.”

That caught Barkley and Nathans off guard. Both men knew what LOGOS really was, and neither of them knew what to expect from a representative of the group. Barkley asked, “What does the message say?”

“It says, and I quote, ‘Head to L3 through L4 to investigate seven new colonies appearing out of nowhere and, if possible, make first contact with this group. Do not go through L5 to nuke the PLANTs, or else you and your fleet will be nuked in return.’ End quote,” the communications officer finished.

Nathans was sweating profusely for fear of his life, while Barkley was grinning savagely. Barkley then ordered, “Helm, direct us through L4 to L3. We have a cluster of colonies to contact, and I doubt these people are aware of what’s going on.”

“Aye, sir, heading to L3 via L4,” responded the helmsman. The fleet followed.

XxX

Back in L3, five hours later

The Theodore Roosevelt and its escorted fleet made it to L3 to see that there was indeed a new cluster of Colonies near where the Orb Union’s Heliopolis colony was located. When the ships arrived near one of these colonies, the communications officer picked up radio signals coming from the colony. The bridge crew listened with interest to the broadcast.

“Good morning, Industrial 7, and have an early yet belated Happy New Year. We have successfully completed a test of the colony-based FTL Hyperdrive, which proves the Vist Foundation’s theorem correct about leaving our solar system in a space colony. We somehow miscalculated where we were supposed to go, though, as we’re currently in L3 instead of L1. Please accept that as the situation, and have a lovely winter day ten weeks ahead of the UC.” And with that, the man’s voice was replaced by music.

Admiral Barkley knew right then what he needed to do. He turned to Nathans and said to him, “You have the bridge, but you don’t have permission to do anything outside of your regular duties. I expect that you’ll fulfill your position properly this time.” With that, he opened a comm to the hangar to say, “Hangar bay, prepare a shuttle for me. I’m going to investigate the nearest colony to us and see about first contact with this group.”

XxX

Two hours later, in Industrial 7

Cardeas Vist, a caucasian man nearing his sixtieth birthday, was wearing the uniform of the head of the Vist Foundation. He was walking with his second in command, Gael Chan, towards the harbor of the colony where the shuttle from the Theodore Roosevelt was located. When they got there, Cardeas called Admiral Barkley over to them.

When the men met, Admiral Barkley saluted in the AF style, saying as he did so, “Admiral Justin Barkley reporting for duty, sir. May I know who it is I’m saluting?”

Cardeas saluted in the Earth Federation forces style, saying, “I am Cardeas Vist, current head of the Vist Foundation and family. I think both of us would feel more at ease if we didn’t have to salute.” When they dropped their hands, Cardeas asked, “May I invite you into the colony proper? I want us to get off to a good start.

Admiral Barkley replied, “Certainly, I think a good civil conversation would be in order.”

Cardeas nodded, saying, “I would be honored to lead you to a fine restaurant for us to speak in private. This way.”

With that, both men walked into the colony to a fine dining establishment called the Golden Eye Eagle. As they walked in, they were wrapping up discussion of the UC’s Mobile Suit history, leading up to the current time units that were stolen from Anaheim Electronics, the Kshatriya and the Sinanju. Barkley was, to say it lightly, thoroughly impressed at the level of technology in use by their military.

When they got seated at a free table, the topic drifted to local history, which included Blue Cosmos, the organization that Barkley pretended to be a part of, and LOGOS, the organization that he was really allied with. They were deep in conversation when a young teenage boy asked them, “May I take your order?”

Cardeas recognized the voice immediately. Turning to face the boy, he asked, “What are you doing here?! Shouldn’t you be in school?”

The boy, a brown-haired youth with brown eyes, was wearing a waiter’s uniform and holding a notebook for taking orders. When he heard Cardeas’ question, though, his eyes dilated in surprise. “Chairman Vist? What brings you here? And what do you mean, shouldn’t I be in school?”

Cardeas answered, “I’m here on Vist Foundation business with a local Admiral that belongs in this part of the Galaxy. As for what I meant, you’re a student at the Anaheim Electronics Industrial College, are you not?”

The waiter looked away uncomfortably at the last part, saying more with his actions than with his words, that he was forcefully removed from the school against his will.

Cardeas stood up. “Take me to your employer. I need to see about getting you back in school.”

Stunned, the waiter hesitated, before he finally said, “Right this way, Chairman Vist.”

XxX

Two hours later, Anaheim Electronics Industrial College

Cardeas sighed as he looked at the file that said that Banagher Links was expelled. He recalled that only he was allowed to do something like that, but he didn’t want to expel his own flesh and blood, which meant that someone had overridden his authority on the matter.

Apparently, Bankcroft was an idiot for not seeing that Banagher had problems staying afloat in his life, since he had lost his mother at a young age; it was a miracle that Cardeas gave him a second chance that time. Banagher, though young, was a powerful Newtype and every ill intent directed at him was magnified at least three hundred fold… it was a wonder that he didn’t break along the way.

Upon recalling his offer to Admiral Barkley, Cardeas decided to follow through on his end. He would sign a deal that said that they would stay out of the war that would eventually brew between the Earth Governments and the Space Colonies in L5 in exchange for providing the means to mine materials that were needed in their own projects. Materials like Luna Titanium and Helium-3 were so abundant in this part of the galaxy, but they weren’t being used, which was a real shame.

After a bit of thought, he decided to send Banagher to the local colony, Heliopolis, for school, maybe as part of a cultural exchange program. Besides, it would do him some good to see the world around him.

XxX

February 15th, CE 70, classified location in the Atlantic Federation

Within a meeting room in the Atlantic Federation, Muruta Azrael, current leader of Blue Cosmos, was frightened.

No, wait, scratch that. He was scared shitless!

When he first returned to the LOGOS gathering place, he was expecting a triumphant return fit for a hero who had ordered the destruction of a vile enemy. Instead, he earned a lot of glares from pretty much everyone in the room. It was as if he was supposed to let the filthy Patchworkers live in their filthy home in space!

Oh, sure, he had to orchestrate the events of the UN bombing on the Moon ten days before in order to shift the blame onto the space monsters, but it was as if the cleansing he had ordered was against the natural order of things, which shouldn’t be true… right?

As if reading his thoughts, one of those loyal to the cause of destroying the Patchworkers came up to him and said in a whisper, “Lord Azrael, your actions in regard to the Junius 7 colony had caused a huge schism in LOGOS, resulting in three splinter groups.”

Azrael’s eyes widened. Sweat poured down his face. He honestly didn’t know that this would happen, otherwise he would have avoided this crisis by… wait, how in the nine hells would he know?! He had already made it clear three weeks prior that a cleansing would occur, and he had understood their silence as agreement, what with the Patchworkers deserving utter eradication!

One of the other members of LOGOS, whose main objective was profiting from war, turned to face Azrael and said, “Muruta Azrael, you and the others that wish to eradicate an ethnic group that had not posed us any trouble are free to leave, but not free to return. Make sure your base of operations is somewhere we can’t find, because we will hunt it down if you leave a hint of its location, and destroy you at the first possible convenience!”

Azrael’s face became ghastly pale. Where could he hide? It was imperative that he stay alive so that he could complete his objective of destroying the Patchworkers!

Someone shoved a magnum and several rounds into his hands. “Maybe you don’t have tactical training, but you do have weapons training. Put it to good use in this war that you started on four fronts.” Before Muruta Azrael could retort, the man that handed him the stuff continued, “See you in Hell… though may the Devil know that you put this upon yourself.”

With that, all the remaining racist in LOGOS were forcefully removed from their old headquarters. They had 72 hours before LOGOS’ profiteers came looking for them!

XxX

February 19th, CE 70, Maius Military Institute

“What?!  Are you out of your mind?” the head foreman asked 16 year-old adopted son of Eileen Canaver, Rengi Canaver.  “You know damn well, that we produce GINNs, DINNs and other mono-eyed mobile suits.  We can’t produce this, not without authorization from the National Defense Committee Chairman Patrick Zala.”

“Yeah, but he can’t tell you that you can’t build this proposed mobile suit,” countered Rengi.  “Besides, think of it as.... making a smaller, human-sized mobile suit that you could use for making weapons and using it as a testbed for future developments for the ZAFT Military.”

“Hmm.....,” said the head foreman as he set his chin on his right hand and looked at the proposed design the human sized mobile suit.  [Think RGM-79FP GM Striker equipped with GINN weapons.] “I think I could at least get the parts built, but you gotta take a GINN robot with you.”

“If I find another design, can I remodel the GINN to the design I find?” asked Rengi.

“Sure, just make sure you gimme specs for what you find,” instructed the head foreman, noticing that Defense Committee Chairman Patrick Zala had entered the factory.  “You need to get outta here, Chairman Zala won’t like that you're here.  I’ll get your order and you’ll owe MMI your services with your personal robotics project.”

Rengi Canaver held his hands up in mock surrender as he said, “You got it, I’m all yours for testing.”

“Good to know,” said a grateful head foreman, “now make yourself scarce.”

XxX

Meanwhile in the Atlantic Federation

“Come on, do I really have to tell you my genetic type?” asked 16 year-old Roux Louka.

“If you want to be hired, yes, you do have to tell us your genetic type,” answered a female interviewer.  “I’m sorry, but this the law now, here in the Atlantic Federation.”

“That’s a load of crap and you know it,” shot back Roux.  “This is just another fucking excuse for Blue Cosmos to try and rule every aspect of our lives.  Great, now I’m pissed off.”

The interviewer wrote something down, pinched the bridge of her nose and then looked to the lavender haired Newtype and said, “Well, I thought we had a position open, but it seems that it was just filled recently.  I guess we don’t need to hire you after all.”

“Alright, I’ll play along with your damn bullcrap,” Roux said a calm fury.  “You can write down me down as a Newtype.”

One of the interviewers then laughed at Roux because she had called herself a ‘Newtype.’  The main interviewer sighed a frustrated sigh as she wrote down Roux’s answer.  As she wrote down the answer, she then said, “Yeah, we still just filled those positions I thought we had open.  Good day to you Miss Louka.”

“And don’t come back here, ya damn bitch!” added a store employee who acted as a witness to the interview.

“I’m leaving this God forsaken country,” Roux said to herself.  “I’m going to the Orb Union.  Fuck the Atlantic Federation and it’s damn laws.  I’m throwing away my damn citizenship to this damn country and it’s band of racist sons of bitches.”

XxX

July 15th, CE 70

As work began on the Atlantic Federation’s G-Weapons, one of Orb’s nobles came by the Morgenroete facility for a surprise visit.

“Oh.... oh!  L-Lord Gina!” exclaimed a secretary as she looked up from the interview she was conducting with a certain prospect.  “We weren’t expecting you’d come today.”

Rhondo Gina Sahaku looked to the secretary and then looked to notice the prospect being interviewed.

“Are you here to apply to be a test pilot?” asked Gina.

“Yes I am,” answered Roux.  “I’ve been turned down at all of the places in the Atlantic Federation, just because I’m not one of those.... Pure Naturals and racist like them.”

“Ah, that is understandable,” Gina Sahaku said to Roux.  “We are looking for a test pilot for a top secret project that can benefit Orb.”

“So you’re telling me....” began Roux as she studied the noble from Orb.

“You’re hired,” finished Gina as he motioned for Roux to follow him, along with the secretary.

XxX

“What?  You want us to construct mobile weapons?” asked the chief engineer.  “We don’t have anything to go off of.”

“Not true,” Gina said as he produced a disk and gave it to the chief engineer.  “I managed to acquire a copy of the designs for the Atlantic Federation G-Weapons and designs for how I want the batch of mobile weapons to be designed.  The only thing that I wasn’t able to acquire was the technology for the Atlantic Federation’s Phase Shift armor developed for their prototypes.”

The chief engineer received the disk from Gina Sahaku and had a grin on his face as he said, “Never fear, we’ll just make our prototypes lighter and faster than the Atlantic Federation’s prototype mobile weapons.”

Rondo Gina Sahaku gave a grin to the chief engineer and a slight nod as he said “Don’t let me down.  And one of the mobile weapons needs to have a combat assisted AI.  One last thing, make sure that most of the prototypes are fully completed.”

“Anything else, Lord Gina?” asked the chief engineer.

“Yes, the one designated Mirage Frame is to be equipped with Mirage Colloid and given extra equipment at a later time,” answered Gina.  “And this one, make sure that it has laminated armor for the new concept of allowing individual mobile weapons to enter the atmosphere.”

“Yes sir,” acknowledged the chief engineer.

XxX

Xamusel A/N: Honestly, this was something that had been bugging me to write it for a while now, especially since reading UltimateGundamFighter's version of the story (which, for those of you unaware, doesn't have female Kira or female Setsuna). I honestly won't take credit for the idea for this story, it was his to begin with, people.

By the way, before anyone asks, I labeled the prologue that way on purpose. Yes, this is the prologue, and, no, I won't spoil why I labeled it this way. It was meant to be a joke that those in the Gundam fandom would get.

Mecha profiles will appear when I actually get to all the mecha… which will start in the first actual chapter. I'll make sure to keep things original for when it's needed.

Okay, may as well leave a note from Sparky here, if he wants to leave one at least.

XxX

Sparky A/N: Instead of having Green Frame and Mirage Frame be incomplete, I decided to have them at least completely built, but Mirage Frame won’t have all of the armaments that it has in Vs. Astray.  But it will at least have the Igelstellungs, beam sabers, a beam rifle and a shield.  Green Frame, however will have all of it’s standard armaments.  But you’ll have two new machines in the next chapter.

XxX

Xamusel A/N: *phew* That should do it for this time.

This was a really tough one to wait on. We had to rework this one a good deal… thanks to the people that helped out before for making this better now.

Alright, now, off to the next chapter for us!

Until we meet again… farewell.
~Xamusel

13
Kiala no Senki, or Records of Kiala, is a Sci-Fi game that takes place in the year 2413 AD (or, in the in-game calendar, 25,413 SY). Humanity on Earth has not quite reached outside its own Solar System, though the Sol System is home to a precious material called Carbon Helium that is, quite frankly, very rare outside of the Sol System, at least in our galaxy. A student at an American university had discovered a piece of Carbon Helium while traveling to Antarctica's Southern Pole and discovered that it could be used for ending the problem of energy supplies for at least until the end of the third millennium... from that piece of Carbon Helium alone.

Meanwhile, outside of our Solar System, a huge war was being waged between two factions of an empire as old as the current calendar: the Neon Warriors and the Vanguard. The reason for this war was over politics, as the leaders of the respective armies were the only sons of the previous Emperor, and only men were allowed onto the throne. The war was beginning to cool off after fifty years of fighting, because the leaders were still human (and thus able to get old at the age of 98), and a peace was being brokered between the leaders when an outside party assassinated the leader of the Neon Warriors. He was succeeded by his granddaughter, Kiala Menossi, and her two month old little brother.

The assassin reveals that he works for the Evernun Commandos, a group of terrorists that were long thought dead to the last man, except that they hadn't died off like everyone believed. The assassin also reveals that he was just one of the many warriors that will "free the galaxy of the evil inside" before he gets run through.

Also, remember the Carbon Helium? Apparently the Evernun Commandos were the first to discover the Sol System and start mining the Carbon Helium from the furthest Plutoid from the Sun, meaning they legally have a claim to the Sol System now.

...well, something like that is what I have in mind for the game story, to be honest.

14
Doujin Projects / Anyone up for Visual Novel translation?
« on: October 07, 2013, 09:29:57 PM »
Okay, a bit of backstory for what I have in mind. Y'see, I had the fortune of finding a way to translate Visual Novels on the fly without cracking the games. This method would allow me to play games without having to break the immersion... though I thought to turn this opportunity into a chance to fan translate Visual Novels with a group.

The first game I thought to do this with is Princess Lover... and, believe me, that game needs a translation patch fast! I already spoke with Cherry about if he wanted to help out... he said yes (on the stipulation that he was making the patches).

Anyone else up for the task involved with this job?

15
Doujin Projects / A wild manuscript without a name appears!
« on: October 07, 2013, 04:30:37 AM »
...maybe I should give some backstory with this one.

See, my dad's Grandpa on my late Grandpa's side, a professional writer, had a manuscript typed up on his typewriter, a completed manuscript from what I know, before he passed on. This manuscript never got published, and it probably wouldn't have gotten published until way later (and not in the original context that it's in)... except that my aunt (my dad's sister) currently living in my late Grandparents' home found the manuscript.

Unfortunately, the paper is not good quality stuff by any stretch of the modern definition, so it needs to be retyped. That's where I come in (hopefully).

My parents are the ones to get the manuscript first, and I was given permission to decide if I wanted to help out or not, but not permission to instantly write with it right off the bat. We still need to determine the condition that the manuscript is in and who does what to update the story (which won't be rewritten in the wrong sense... I respect my family to want to keep things the way they were before if I can help it).

I know Elf said I wasn't ready to get published, but I have help with making sure this story gets published, at least. Besides, I won't steal credit for this story, I'm not even close to that pathetic.

Thanks for understanding.

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