Author Topic: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest  (Read 1356 times)

KAIZA

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2015, 06:33:08 PM »
OK, OK, enough people, knock it off. If you don't have any real business in this thread, please just leave.

Cherry Lover

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2015, 10:36:34 PM »
Lantz, two weeks really is not enough time for this, can you extend the deadline?

lantzblades

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2015, 10:41:46 PM »
Fine with me (No one actually asked to extend the deadline before now) what did you have in mind Mike?

Cherry Lover

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #18 on: March 30, 2015, 11:02:03 PM »
Fine with me (No one actually asked to extend the deadline before now) what did you have in mind Mike?

Just another couple of weeks (i.e., a month total).

lantzblades

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2015, 01:27:56 AM »
Contest now concludes entry portion on May 13

lantzblades

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2015, 05:04:00 AM »
Story Title: Captive blossom

Readability (18 of 20)

Genre goal (30 of 40)

Characterization (75 of 100)

Community (30 of 75)

Creativity (45 of 50)

Uniqueness (25 of 50)

Appeal (2 of 5)

Fun factor (10 of 30)

With only Mike's single entry (sadly) the contest comes to a close.

ultimately the scores don't matter, fandom and fan fiction is about having fun with something you like.

that said as judge I'm going to explain my thoughts on the work and Mike, as author can feel free to post said work if he chooses.

readability: There are some awkward sentences but it is mostly readable on a technical level.

Genre Goal: As porn it works for what it is but I find it largely unsustainable outside of that.

Characterization: Sakura and Rider are a bit out of sorts here, granted it's porn but something seems very off about their chemistry.

Community: Granted Satoshi as a Berserker has no written read template but he was fairly mischaracterized here. He's flat and formal with his speech, his logic is too cold when it should be filled with nonsensical and hilarious leaps and emotionally charged and he refers to characters incorrectly, Ilya and Shirou mostly. Further while he is in the strictest sense bound to obey his master and would as a result (most unfortunately) rape Sakura in this context if ordered to. His mind would alter his speech to reflect a more positive situation as a result, as much for his own remaining sanity as for Sakura's well being. He's not evil after all.

creativity: I don't think Bell can be used like that to bind people (much less a Dragon) it's still a good idea, although throwing out the bad guy here is what marked it down

uniqueness: I can say that I've never seen something quite like this, the clich├ęs are all that keep it from being better.

appeal: Not my cup of tea, sorry

Fun factor: it was rather dull in this respect, I just couldn't get into it.

lantzblades

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2015, 05:08:46 AM »
The entry form such as it is

Story Title: Captive Blossom

Genre: Lemon

Nasuverse works: FSN

Route: Diverges from canon pre-VN

the prizes are up to the author to reveal information about

Cherry Lover

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Re: Lantz's Fanfiction Contest
« Reply #22 on: May 14, 2015, 06:00:36 AM »
Community: Granted Satoshi as a Berserker has no written read template but he was fairly mischaracterized here. He's flat and formal with his speech, his logic is too cold when it should be filled with nonsensical and hilarious leaps and emotionally charged and he refers to characters incorrectly, Ilya and Shirou mostly. Further while he is in the strictest sense bound to obey his master and would as a result (most unfortunately) rape Sakura in this context if ordered to. His mind would alter his speech to reflect a more positive situation as a result, as much for his own remaining sanity as for Sakura's well being. He's not evil after all.

Hmm, I see.

Well, I was trying to interpret the information you gave me as best as I could, and also to make it fit to the setting. What do you mean by a "more positive situation", though? I don't really see how you can put a positive spin on "I'm going to rape and torture you"....

As for his references to Ilya and Shirou, yeah, I probably wasn't thinking enough when I wrote those parts.

Quote
creativity: I don't think Bell can be used like that to bind people (much less a Dragon) it's still a good idea, although throwing out the bad guy here is what marked it down

I wasn't aware of that either, but my co-author seemed to think it would work, and it is apparently done in HA to Shirou. Although, yeah, doing it to Satoshi might not be so plausible, especially to a servant version.