Author Topic: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)  (Read 4431 times)

Frostyvale

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2014, 12:38:08 AM »
Preface: posting this here, because I might as well spread the fun.

By the way Andoriol, I think I should tell you now that I'm having more fun discussing this story as an idea than I am anticipating reading it. Moreover, there were multiple grammar mistakes in the draft. I've fixed them, but please take care to edit before the next revision.

Quote from: Andoriol;1464866
Okay, here's a heavily revised version, still ultra-rough-draft at the moment. I'll take the time to add Servant Stats if people thinks this looks okay so far.

I'm inordinately proud of the Fourth Swing F/SN for some reason.

This isn't even relevant but being proud of something is a bad idea. It fosters complacency.

First Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
F/SN
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Because of a broken and twisted Grail and Caster's overwhelming power, a living being from the depths of the Kaleidoscope is pulled as a Servant, using the Second Magic rather than the Third, summoning OCdoriol as (False) Assassin.
This sentence is awkwardly long. You're not wrong to say that the Grail is directly connected to the Third Magic. However, it has no systems that link it to the Second. That, and it's monstrously unsatisfying to have OCdoriol pulled in just because of a random event like this. If I had to describe it, the issue is that even if Caster was more hax than she already is, it's already pushing the limits of probability that False Assassin was summoned. There has to be a clear, if subtle, reason for OCdoriol specifically to be summoned.

And, ahem, I know it contradicts the basic premise, but I think the entire story would be a lot more interesting if you chose to make him a person with an unhealthy interest in fictional media, but removed the notion that he should be familiar with every universe. If the idea is that he is hurtling through infinite realities, then it's very likely that he'll run into many that he's not familiar with. For example, in a Fate summoning, he is a person who has never played the VN. Instead, he comes from a universe in which Tsukihime took off and launched a legion of spin-offs. Keep him familiar with the basic notions of Fate, just so that he's not totally useless, but leave him unaware of broad areas which can be both interesting and believable to write.

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As he is still truly alive, he doesn't need Prana from Caster, nor is he bound to the arch, so he hauls ass once he can and tries to get into contact with Rin or Shirou. It's on the UBW route and he's able to get into contact with Shirou. It takes some convincing, but he's able to get them to at least believe him. He tries to convince Archer that his plan won't work and that the group (and Sakura) needs him, but it's not much later that Caster kills him horribly for his betrayal... and OCdoriol doesn't want to die, it's all he can think about at those last moments-... and the Grail, twisted as it is, grants his wish. It renders him unable to truly die, but sends him cascading through the Kaleidoscope.
Ha ha, well that was my suggestion, so it would be pretty awkward if I were to suddenly contradict myself. What do you mean by "at least believe him?" What do they believe him about? How is this an at least when it's everything he can hope for that they believe him? As for the Sliding being a function of the Grail, this is actually quite interesting. I don't believe that the Grail is actually capable of actualizing a True Magic on a super complicated level like what's required here. When Avenger presented his wish, the Grail granted it literally, well within the boundaries of the current World. So under the conditions of this situation, OCdoriol would be held within the Grail for a while, waiting for the Grail to power up enough to grant his wish. Of course, it's just a clump of magical energy. There has to be a pathway to route it into or it can't do anything. This implies a specific need for OCdoriol to have some kind of affinity with the Second Magic.


Spoiler for Hidden:
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Replaces Revan. Dies very early on, keeps a blaster?
I've already expressed a distaste for this setting. The game in isolation is pretty alright, but the plot is all kinds of cringe. I'll put that aside and consider it plainly. Honestly, it's more significant that he can snatch up future tech and bring it to worlds that are infinitely less advanced, than it is that he can shoot laser beams. (I am well aware that this gun does not fire traditional laser beams.)
What I think makes sense from this progression, is that he initially can't control his body properly, and so dies shortly after waking up for the first time. (In an attack on the Endar Spire according to the wiki.)

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Baldur’s Gate
Summoned by a Tsundere Elf Wizard protagonist as a Familiar.
Cute. Execute this properly and it might be somewhat enjoyable.

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He can’t communicate with anyone except his master empathetically.
Again, this seems fine. I don't know how well it fits with the mechanics of Gate but it it's interesting I won't care.

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She’s very irritated with him, though confused as well, but she does her best to take care of him since he’s just as confused as she is.
Probably more confused. At this point won't he just be a rather pathetic and desperate young adult in a ridiculous fantasy?

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She gets him equipped with basic armor and a sword and taught basic not-dying skills, especially since he takes a portion of her power to maintain.
Or she dispells him herself since he's absolutely worthless to her. (jk, mostly.) How basic is this armor? It can't be plate or chainmail since OCdoriol should too weak to even stand with such armor on. Is it just a set of leather padding? That much seems to fit. If he gets a sword, I'm pretty sure that he shouldn't be capable of using it too easily. So for this stage, he's an amateur in an inconvenient situation. Basic sword skill learned: "Put the pointy end here."

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They start to teach each other language.

Anti-summoning spell hits him and he dissipates.
Incredibly basic. Develop it much much more before engaging a write.

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Familiar of Zero
Summoned as part of the ritual, but as a wraith.

The storyline proper isn’t affected much at this point, but Saito’s relationships are.

Sticks with Saito until he’s exorcised
This seems alright. I have no idea how you can make it interesting. At this level, it's good enough for a quick spin of the imagination, but barely a story arc. Make him and Saito interact in a really great way or this is going to fall apart.
Second Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
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F/SN
Summoned as (False) Assassin again, it’s very much like the first time he did this, though this time he tries to learn some magic… and gets his Circuits activated, which basically fries him alive. He also tries to be hidden from Caster, which works! But he’s killed not very far into the war all the same.
This isn't even an arc. It's not even half an arc. Alright, the problem is that I don't know if OCdoriol is the kind of human that can have circuits. It's almost certainly a hereditary anomaly localized to the Nasuverse, so how can he have any circuits to activate? It should, however, be basically impossible for him to learn Magecraft. He's a literal zero potential, so he makes Shirou look like a master Magus. How does he hide from Caster? Why does he hide from Caster? Does he have Presence Concealment? (Note: This can't happen.) So let's see. His time in the Gate has probably made him a human on the level of the lowest squire in Camelot. His strength, at this stage, can be considered to be at an F-. So yay, he's gone from weak hikikomori to halfway fit normal human.

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SW: KotOR
Replaces Revan once more, is actually competent this time, becomes a Jedi and learns the force, creating his own lightsaber.
What is the timeframe for these developments. He should be complete shit unless he's working on Revan's innate advantages. How in the world does he learn the complex mechanisms necessary to make a lightsaber. I don't believe that that's a likely development.

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Given the power this body has in the Force, he’s surprisingly competent. Given several months of training and combat, he learns a fair amount. He’s overwhelmed by Revan’s personality on Korriban. He keeps his relatively unique lightsaber, a noticeably longer handle and blade on it to allow for more crystals and battery power.
Nonsense. Force ability is raw power. You can't equate this to precision with a weightless laser sword. This development is unnecessarily awesomecool.

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He loses his eye and has to get it replaced, in a bit of vanity, he makes it purple
I'll accept this.

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He lacks the innate charisma that Revan truly possessed, but he’s very likable, he gets along with most of his companions that he gathers aside from Bastilla (which confuses him as he normally gets along with hard-asses rather well)
A weird flag is set. What does "likable" mean? Does he hit it off with the assassin droid or is he more chummy with the pilot?

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Baldur’s Gate
He’s re-summoned by the same mage. She teaches him enough magic to let him learn a translation spell… at which point they have a long talk.
Why didn't she just cast the spell on him in the first place.

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She helps him learn arcane magic (noting that it’s a bit of a drain on her, but damnit, if he’s going to drain her casting abilities, he’s going to have some use).
Alright so he has 2 MP and can occasionally cast a tiny tiny Prestidigitation?

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When he describes what he tried to learn from Rin with Thaumaturgy, his master asks if he could teach her what he knows in exchange. He admits to knowing basically jack all about it but does what he can. He finds that she has a whopping 25 Circuits that even as they are hold more than his do. The drain of sustaining him lessens considerably, but that right there is basically the extent of his knowledge.
Mhm, also how does she have circuits.

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They push further into the game, he gets hit with another dispel but it doesn’t work as he flares his power.
What power? Prana? You can't flare Prana. It sets you on fire if you let it escape your circuits without direction. Isn't it simpler to just call this "An amalgamated spell shield created as a function of his new affinity to multiple magics." and make it so weak that it can only resist the most basic status effects?

Also now that I think about it who the heck would think to use a Dispel against a normal looking human.

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Between himself and the protagonist, they figure out a fair bit of ultra basic F/SN magic while she teaches him Arcane theory at nights while they travel. While he’s a quick study, she’s damn brilliant
Don't wank a character like this. She's working in a new field of magic with a super amateur instructor. Not to mention that she literally shouldn't have circuits.

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They get further in the series but he’s killed.
THE DETAILS PLEASE.

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He can’t really use the Force here worth a damn, though the instinct works slightly, at least when facing sentient opponents.
This fits with what I was imagining. He carries the path to a type of magic within him, but despite this he can't enforce it on the world without more power than he can hold.

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Familiar of Zero
He’s summoned on top of Saito once again, but it’s the same Saito who had Louise re-summon to bring him back

His intelligence, teaching, and relative emotional maturity helps things along as well as makes their lives easier as they go along. Saito amusingly plays off any sage advice or things as “a voice in my head”, doing so jokingly.

While the actual actions don’t change much, the respect and maturity of Saito, Louise, and the harem that Saito gathers up is different.

While the Force doesn’t work very well here, OCdoriol is able to use it weakly, it works best as a defensive measure and linking up with Saito more directly to help guide him in combat.

OCdoriol helps Saito keep Louise from being over-burdened in the war as well as arguing different tactics. He’s not an amazing ‘general’, but his lack of pride and ability to just shut the fuck up and think for hours on end helps make up for it some. It’s mostly that he (through Saito) offers a differing viewpoint

OCdoriol sticks with Saito until he dies in the massive battle, at which point he tells the younger man that he’s proud of him
That... Is disgustingly saccharine. Some bits are almost interesting but this is on the whole as boring as an ice cream flavored like sawdust. I think that adding tons of detail and then removing the peripherals would flesh this out properly.

Third Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
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F/SN
He gets summoned as-… Saber…? What the fu- … Oh fuck.
Is he Servant material now? I don't imagine that he could fit into a different class container so easily.

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His Force-granted Instinct is at least partially functional, but he only helps Shirou avoid getting stabbed by Lancer by-… relying on the rules of hospitality? Which works because of Geas, at the very least long enough for Archer/Rin to arrive.
Has he memorized the Geasa that Lancer was stuck with? I don't imagine so. Still, he can't fight Lancer, so this will have to be pretty absurd to work.

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He has absolutely piddly magic resistance and stats for a Saber, though the combination of lightsaber (which pretty much cuts EVERYTHING, even including Berserker (though only once) except for weapon phantasms) With the assistance of Archer they force a retreat from Berserker.
Here's what I think of the lightsaber. Instead of building his own after training, he bumbles through quests with Bastillia until his inexperience gets her killed. He nicks her saber and uses it for a few moments before dying. The thing he keeps is her saber. Repelling Berserker...

That was impossible for Artoria. Doriol isn't getting anywhere with it. The most I can imagine is that:

: Is a lightsaber?

Him building his own is unnecessarily cool. He isn't a Jedi, just a person borrowing their skills.

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They head to the Mataou mansion and break Sakura free.
MATOU. THE NAME IS MATOU. I don't know what to think of this. It's too boring a development, too quick. Imagine the time between the moonlit summoning of Saber, and the first battle with Assassin. That's the amount of development you neglected here.

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Rin moves to talk to Caster with ‘Saber’ and Archer as her support, leaving Rider with Shirou/Sakura at the Emiya place. Archer considers turning on them to get the command seals removed, but decides against it, acknowledging that ‘Saber’ is useless. OCdoriol takes offense to that! Archer shouldn’t have even considered turning on them with how super useless he is as a Servant. It’s like a damn comedy skit. Until OCdoriol’s magically hidden (and hidden magically) lightsaber hilt gets close enough to Caster for him to activate it and cut her in two when negotiations fail.
Erm, did you just say that Archer is a super useless Servant? That's not correct at all. I like the joking theme leading up to Caster's death though. Fits quite nicely.

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Both Rin and Archer take exemption to the sudden-ness and sheer viciousness of it, and while OCdoriol admits he was hasty, making no excuses. He points out that he’s been killed horribly by her using a Pseudo-Command Seal to suffer to death. He does not like Caster and isn’t willing to take chances.
NOPENOPENOPENOPE.

Archer never just goes and says "I'm a Shirou from the future." In other words, characters like this won't succeed with the audience if they explain away their mystery to the other characters. If anything, this is the best time for him to feel exhilaration, and make a poor show at grandstanding at his success. About Kuzuki, eh, he might just go back to teaching.

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Later, they end up fighting Berserker, and while Rider and OCdoriol try to buy enough time for Archer to put up his Reality Marble, OCdoriol taps deeply into the Dark Side of the Force to even stay alive since he’s already used up his ‘death’ that he can manage with his lightsaber. He overcharges his blaster and takes one more while burning his right hand. He still gets cut in half before Archer deploys Unlimited Blade Works.
The implication I was getting was that this was a super silly arc. It might serve you well to keep it that way. Be specific with the grammar! When you say "his death" it's ambiguous as to whether you're talking about Berserker's God Hand or OCdoriol's time in the universe.

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SW: KotOR
Once more replaces Revan, though this time it’s hard to keep everything under wraps. He still has his artificial left eye, which is rather… weird all things considered.
Fun. It's funny that the left eye clings to him. If you want, you can make it sillier by making it an absolutely crap kind of mystic eye. "The Mystic Eye of Electrical Perception" which confers upon Doriol the absolutely useless ability to notice when electrons are flowing within objects.

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He learns more in the way of the Force, this time focusing on his self-enhancement as well as instinct.
Ehm. Make this different. Instead of grinding training, he just bumbles about through the game adventures, while passively stealing Revan's Force affinity.

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While it’s hard to remain as light-side as he knows he should, he’s mostly able to manage it
The Dark Side is a plot device, I don't think it's much more complex than that. Don't polarize it so much though. Make its effects incredibly subtle.

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He creates a surprisingly powerful and advanced suit of armor that combines low-tier Sith Alchemy with what little magic he can manage as well as using the Force to improve upon it much as one does a lightsaber. The armor (and outfit in general that he wears) becomes associated with him due to how distinctive it is. Its heavy as hell with servo motors to ease its weight, but even then, without his Reinforced or Force enhanced strength it’s still a bit silly. The energy shields and various additional equipment are amazing additions, compensating for his (comparative) lack of skill with the lightsaber and the Force when pitted against the outright better combatants.
NONONONONONONO. This is an incredibly complex development with absolutely no precedent. If anything, just give him a jetpack. Jetpacks make everything better. (By the way without a basic suit of defensive armor, which is all I will tolerate, the jetpack will burn his legs off, so yeah.)

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He’s developed a bit more charisma than before, but he’s still not good at this whole ‘leading people’ thing.
Nope, too busy dumping INT.

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While the group sticks with him after learning his ‘secret’ (Oh noes! You’re really Revan?!), he has to really work to talk Bastilla down since she obviously doesn’t love him as she would have the canon Revan.
Rework. I always found this part strange since Bastilla should have been aware that he was Revan from the start.

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OCdoriol is only able to beat Malak by locking lightsabers with him and then over-reinforcing his opponents lightsaber. This is despite having armor that essentially renders him immune to lightsabers and conventional attacks, despite this body’s strength in the Force, OCdoriol simply lacks the skill to use it to its full potential, especially against someone like Malak… in a location so saturated with the Darkside that OCdoriol has to struggle with Revan trying to take his body back.
Boring to read. I don't know how you can develop this to be more interesting. Er, perhaps he manages to surprise Malak by instinctively casting a Grease spell on the floor?

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OCdoriol fly’s off after all of the things… and fades out mentally for no reason he can discern. His armor (and outfit) of whoopass stick with him.
Why does he go. Does Revan randomly win or is this just a function of an overarching plot? As for the armor, this is what I think about it:

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Baldur’s Gate
He’s summoned… by the same master as before. This surprises him a bit but he’s not complaining! This time with his armor. He has no way of refueling its generator or recharging his lightsaber, but his master helps him figure out a way to use Reinforcement to recharge things.
That is not how Reinforcement works. Nope, instead he doesn't have the armor and the lightsaber uses the Third Imaginary Element as fuel.

LOLOLOL, Star Wars is the Nasuverse in which all Magic has been reduced to a science, except for the last mystery of the Force. (Do NOT take this as a legitimate idea, unless you actually think that it is.)

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The cost of maintaining him has gone up, but his master is more powerful
This seems like useless information, especially if the two balance perfectly.

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The group pushes on until they fight the final boss of the first game, the demigod of murder, OCdoriol absorbs his soul (and divine spark) on complete accident and this breaks his contract, making him dissipate.
Dear, dear me. No. I don't like this development at all. It's too substantial. If he were to absorb a stronger existence like a Demigod, then it's natural that OCdoriol would just be subsumed by that soul. It's better to suggest that the Divine Spark becomes a very powerful source of MP and spells until he exhausts it. It can leave a very very small permanent effect, like Magic Resistance or Monstrous Strength, but only at the very lowest level.

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Familiar of Zero
He’s summoned by Tiffany, this both makes Saito happy but also scares the crap out of him since OCdoriol seemed so competent. It’s also been some time since he’s been here.
The name is Tiffania. Saito needs to be more fun, make it interesting when you write it. Alrighty.

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He discovers that his summoning grants him essentially unlimited Prana.
Wat. NONONONONONONO. Lifdrasir is a prana factory that works for the Master, not the familiar. Not mentioning the risk, it's honestly more simple for him to just rely on his own MP.

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While they generally get along fine, OCdoriol and his Master have serious conflict over the killing of enemies.
Okay, I guess this is natural. Where is the mental degradation? Is he experiencing Magic Alzheimer's? Or is it just "I'm slightly less me right now, but I don't care because it feels so wonderful."?

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OCdoriol and Sheffield have a freaking field day every time they fight (which is several times because “fuck you I’m running” is something they’re willing to do), OCdoriol eventually beats her and takes all of her magic items, no he doesn’t know how to use them all or have her Class ability to use them but damnit, magic items!

Gratuitous. Make it interesting or I want it axed now.

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He creates a magical, sith-alchemy enhanced vibroblade, it screams when it cuts and ‘moans’ when it’s swung because of the vibrations, he bases its magic off of Derflingers and makes a lesser anti-magic enchantment for it though overall the blade is more powerful.
That lightsaber is still sitting around you know. I don't want to think about this. It's so absurd.

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Introducing OCdoriol to the rest of the group is awkward as he knows them, and Saito knows him, but they don’t know him. That said, Kirche falls for his ‘extreme manliness’, which is standard for her.
Details, or this will always be boring.

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SUPER-SPEEEEEED (meets precognition and insta-kill weapon)
Eheh, but this is what he already is. A hax character with a development like this:



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Unlike Saito, OCdoriol is very obviously a spellcaster, which weirds most of the mages out horrendously.
Ookay, seems natural.

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He’s eventually given a noble’s cape for his work for the crown (through Tiffany), and he wears it over his ‘Jedi’ robes.
This is a stupid development that just looks cool. I refuse to allow it to be written in.

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Between OCdoriol and Henrietta, they prevent a stupid war against the elves, but this requires a smaller war against the church. With his Class ability to essentially spam his most powerful magic, he’s utterly terrifying. He develops more magic and discovers that he can’t use the local magic.
2opforme.

Make this bit interesting, since he's finally able to interact, but not to this degree. This is excessive to the point of being boring.

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OCdoriol dies in battle.
This is a thing that can happen at this point?
Fourth Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
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F/SN
Summoned as Caster (due to his tendency towards Item Creation and his most visible feats being magical)
Kay sure.

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His master is a massive dickbag who tries to make OCdoriol use his magic for his own gain and ignore the war until the last.
Bonus points if he tries to make OCdoriol give him the lightsaber.

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OCdoriol lops his arm off with his lightsaber before stealing all of his grimoires and heading off. He uses the grimoires to create boundary fields and magic circles to draw on power long enough for him to survive and get to the Temple where he sets up a more permanent solution.
The contract hasn't been broken yet has it? He should really just use his Master as a prana battery while he can. Caster class Servants have no Independent Action, so he ought to fade in a couple of hours without constant Prana support.

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He finds the master of assassin before they summon, a very average Magus with only a few circuits but a massive determination to reach the Root… OCdoriol offers him a chance, give up his arm and command seals or die. Between the Force persuasion (which the Magus doesn’t recognize as magic and resist) and his status as a Servant he convinces him to give up his arm, which is a lot less painful for him with his cooperation.
There is no master of Assassin? Are you making this up, because you shouldn't.

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OCdoriol finds Bazette after Kirei steals Lancer but before she dies, and uses some of his Healing potions to save her, then a combination of Sith Alchemy, the Force, and another healing potion to graft the arm from his previous master on her before she wakes up.
Erm, this is kind of strange.

By the way I'm just going to skim the rest of it.

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She’s really leery about working with him, not that he can blame her, but with a proper Master as well as his knowledge (which he plays off as due to his Scrying of things) they’re a terrifying pair, especially once he gets Kuzuki into it as well. He can’t enhance people as powerfully as Medea could have, but with Bazette’s runes and his own combination of Force enhancement as well as Reinforcement-style Arcane magic, it’s still a decisive boost for all involved.
Why is she uncomfortable? He literally just saved her life.

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OCdoriol grafts the Command Seals for Assassin into Kuzuki and helps him summon a True Assassin who will (begrudgingly) listen to OCdoriol since his master does. Bazett thinks this is a bad idea, but OCdoriol is cautious and talks with Assassin and the Man on the Mountain is willing to agree that something as horrible as the tainted grail does not deserve to exist and must be destroyed. He’s willing to work with a heathen like Caster to accomplish this and save the innocent.
Why, why, why. Instead just make him summon False Assassin, except twist! He summons himself! jk. Nah, just have him eat the Command Seals for Prana. I don't think he has the skill to hack the Grail.

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OCdoriol places the magical equivalent of landmines along the entire stretch of the path to the temple, not breaking the flow of the leyline but rather tapping into it to vaporize any Servant silly enough to attack.
This means that Rider gets smashed. But seriously, the leyline doesn't provide enough power for an A+++ instant magic trap. Now, a more simple solution is that he just imbues the traps with a powerful telekinetic effect that knocks Servants into the deleterious Boundary Field.

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Cue Berserker attacking the Temple, without False Assassin, they have trouble, but OCdoriol can rain magic down at them with impunity, the runes of paralysis, devastation, destruction, and more all slowing down the Magic-Resistance-less Berserker. Berserker simply can’t get too far from Illya or the spells raining down on him will kill her, and Illya isn’t immune to the traps that Berserker triggers and the two have to fall back. Berserker himself was never in any danger, but Illya was. Cue sighs of relief from both Bazette and OCdoriol.
Mhm, mhm. I like this bit.

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OCdoriol takes tons of (electronic) notes on the runes that Bazette uses as well as everything she mentions about them.
Er, okay, but he won't be able to use them like she does. He ain't so speshul.

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OCdoriol meets with Rin as she comes out of school, Blood Fort Andromeda has been set up. Rin automatically assumes that ‘Caster’ is the source of the effect, but he denies it as he tries to crack the magic put into it. Doubting she’ll listen to him now, he only points out that her sister has been suffering, thinking that she doesn’t care about her, ‘idly’ noting the horrors she has to withstand. Rin almost has Archer attack him for this (wounded by Saber or not), but thinks better of attacking a Servant at full strength with a partial strength one and heads off to investigate his claim.
Oh gosh I don't mind this development one bit.

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Not two days later, the Mataou mansion is reduced to rubble.
It's MATOU.

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OCdoriol feels like a complete badass considering that he’s been successfully manipulating the war so far aside from the whole ‘summoning Saber properly’ bit. He didn’t have time, but still, this has been working really well so far.
Well, let's see how badly it goes.

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Shirou gets kidnapped by Illya and OCdoriol finds this out when he notices the prana surging in the Eizenbern lands. Excalibur had been used. Well fuck. He rushes over to find an exhausted Saber, wounded Rider, Shirou, Rin and Sakura all together. Damnit.

He’s not really able to convince them of his good intentions, but they don’t attack him. Still, he ensures they’re all healed up and safe before getting them home.

Gilgamesh takes exception to ‘Caster’s interference with things and attacks the temple. OCdoriol is rather obviously unable to hold him off, but teleports Bazett to the Emiya household with instructions to get Saber recharged (With a tantric ritual if necessary) and that Shirou holds Saber’s Sheath. Between himself, Assassin, and Kuzuki, they try to hold Gilgamesh (or even beat him if at all possible) as long as they can. Between the three of them, they don’t last long, but OCdoriol is actually able to remove one of Gilgamesh’s arms with a cheap trick and his lightsaber before getting exploded
Well that's pretty bad isn't it.

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Baldur’s Gate
Summoned once more by the same master, there’s no plot to really resolve right now, she was more checking that he was okay… then smacks the crap out of him for worrying her like that. He’s given the Sword of Chaos, Saerevok’s powerful blade, which works for him just fine since as far as the Sword is concerned, OCdoriol is Saerevok.

Only a small portion of the group that helped take down the demigod Saerevok stays together, bound by bonds of mutual friendship! (and safety)

OCdoriol uses Alteration and Reinforcement creatively to create gemstones and gold from the particulates in the air or water, which makes the group surprisingly rich. Rich enough to massively expand their spellbooks, equipment, and get proper instruction on how to craft magical items as well as blacksmithing. He heavily improves his equipment by enchanting all the things with the help of his Master. They get OCdoriol an extensive ‘spellbook’ in his electronics

Then they get kidnapped

OCdoriol is experimented on heavily as he’s obviously stolen the divine essence and soul of someone else, and as such, of great interest to their captor, who cuts him open and studies him extensively, but deliberately avoids killing him

They eventually break out, and once they’re out of a life or death situation, OCdoriol has a breakdown. He was barely able to keep them from casting spells once they got out and thus getting locked up with their captor

After enough time to calm down, he’s insistent upon them going after the asswad before he does some serious harm (which he knows he will) and the most of the group agrees. The ones that don’t are either swayed by the simple thing called revenge or because they’re friends are all going along with it

They ally with the Thieves Guild to get to the prison where he’s held and gather up a sum of money to make it happen. They perform increasingly epic feats and quests to do so, gathering more allies as they go. OCdoriol creates several extradimensional holding bags to carry more equipment, particularly a belt for his blades

OCdoriol starts to have a romance with one of the party members that’s been with them for a long time

One of their companions is killed… and OCdoriol goes outright berserk on the enemies that did so, pulling deeply on the Dark Side of the Force and the stolen Divinity

They fight an ancient Dragon as part of one quest and OCdoriol nearly gets eaten, but fuck if they don’t take it down. However, the confrontation drains his Master to the point where she can’t sustain his existence, and he fades out.
Is he Mordenkainen now? I disagree, this is much too powerful for a person with slapdash superpowers. He can't become so effective, so you need to make him rely on planning and clever deduction more than hax magic. Also who in the world can actually succeed at casually kidnapping and dissecting him? That seems super contrived.

Quote
Rosario + Vampire
Archer wakes up on a bus, confused as hell. He gets run into by a girl on a bike who introduces herself, sucks his blood, and then basically runs off.

He finds out he’s at Youkai Academy, a school for monsters that teaches said monsters how to integrate with human society. Apparently, his mind has replaced the original main characters, which really worries Archer as he’s afraid he killed someone that definitely didn’t deserve it. He also has his eyes, which is very weird as the rest of him is Tsukune.

Archer remembers the story well enough to know that if he doesn’t act, several girls are going to be molested at least, likely raped, others killed. He can’t, just… can’t let that happen. It goes against everything he is. He quickly becomes friends with Moka, the vampire that hit him, and searches for another of the girls that would be part of the harem to become friends with her and try and keep her from falling for the guy that would molest her. He also tries to find the young witch before she gets herself killed.

He’s successful, though he gets embroiled in some minor combat and wounded without his normal equipment or the conditioning he’d been working on. Even with functioning magic and the Force, without his equipment or conditioning he’s not as much of a match for superhuman monsters as he’d like.

He gets along with the girls rather well, though there’s no real romantic interest on his side or even most of the girls. The young witch and the succubus are exceptions, though for varying reasons. While he’s flattered and finds the succubus attractive, it’s really awkward for him considering he’s nearly a decade older than them mentally.

And then he gets his neck broke by a monster that gets a lucky shot in and as he fades mentally, Archer curses internally that it had happened. He’d gotten cocky.
What about, OCdoriol just gets so confused by what seems to be a perfectly normal situation that he doubletakes, until he hears the word "vampire." Then, realizing that he's in an urban fantasy setting, he goes to town with the grandstanding?

Quote
Dragon Age Origins
‘Summoned’ by the Lyrium Well into the deep roads, he has to fight his way out and has to be turned into a Gray Warden to save his life. He ensconces Tsukune deep in his soul to keep him safe from the taint

With his magic on the fritz, he has difficulty in combat. He learns how to be a Templar from one of his companions to counter the magic of others while developing a style of combat to fight beings stronger, faster, and more skilled than he is as he's not all that strong without his magical enhancements.

They complete the Mages Guild (he absorbs the souls of several of the Abominations, which messes with his head), the Gray Warden Keep, and start to get things done in Dennerim… before OCdoriol is assassinated for being the most ‘obvious’ leader of the Gray Wardens and having let his guard down.
Too much pretentious development, but I know nothing of this setting.

This is the part when I give up. Things are too complicated to be explained by the way you simply presented them.

Fifth Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
Quote
F/SN
Summoned as Berserker in place of Herakles

Summoned well before the War and since he’s not such a massive drain on Illya’s reserves, he’s able to keep his sanity. He almost begs for a holy item to suppress his taint (the Bhaalspawn and Darkspawn taints… as well as something else he can’t identify), which he gets.

That said, he’s really worried, without his sanity, he’s nowhere near able to fight a Servant, he’s positive of that

Over the long time he’d been summoned he talks to Illya about her life and subtly encourages her to not kill Shirou

That said, once he gets dragged into battle with Saber, Illya activates Mad Enhancement… and he’s gone.

He retains a significant portion of his skill, but his power jumps massively more so than any other Berserker. His strength jumps to B rank due to the vampiric blood, he is able to regenerate and hold himself together even near death using the Dark Side of the Force and even drains strength from his foes, but still retains his full unsealed Instinct skill as it’s part of the Force as well as his access to his lightsaber

Show snippets of his vision through the madness as Illya commands him around and that he’s actually… really terrifying as a Berserker. He drains the strength from his foes just by being near them, drinks blood, regenerates, has an insta-kill weapon in his lightsaber and a screaming anti-magic sword of his own design, all while retaining his full deadly Instinct and a significant amount of his skill. Sure, his stats are comparatively low (C to B), the combination of these other effects makes him scary.

Tsukune, his tag-along, tells him what happened after the fact



Baldur’s Gate
Summoned once more and knowing he can’t use his magics in Dragon Age, he works on his swordsmanship. While he does develop more magical skills and power, his primary focus is on learning as many different forms of weapon as he can. Focusing primarily on Sword and Shield as well as Dual Weapon as he can have so many damn magical weapons now that it helps more that way. He never approaches the skill level of the dedicated swordsmen and archers of the group, but he can wield most western style weapons with solid proficiency. He develops a 'style' of combat inspired by CG EMIYA and having seen him in action, though far more generalized than the Sword-Archer's.

The party takes on several more quests before working with the Thieves Guild again

The group takes on a guild of vampires, and OCdoriol gets bitten, but they take the enemy down

The group gets to the prison where their original captor is held… only to get captured. OCdoriol is experimented on some more before the villain steals his Master (and her sister’s) souls, leaving OCdoriol a fragmented mess. Tsukune within him wraps the pieces of OCdoriol’s soul around him at OCdoriol’s urging to protect him from the Kaleidoscope

With his master so damaged and leaking power all over the place, her own taint sympathizing with OCdoriols own… he deliberately severs their connection and fades from existence to keep himself from making her worse



Rosario + Vampire
OCdoriol wakes up… in a hospital bed…?

… wait, what?

His waking and looking around wakes the girls that were nearby to keep watch over him. They’re all happy he’s alright, which flatters him, but he’s confused. He was certain he was dead and admits as such to them, though he doesn’t say why he’s sure… that he’s died before and he knows the feeling.

It turns out that Moka had given him an injection of her blood which had literally saved him from the brink of death.

Well what the fuck.

He’s not complaining mind you, but still, very confused.

Still, he returns to school with the others. More battles ensue, two more getting (but not really requiring) injections of vampire blood to keep him going. He creates a sword for himself so he has something at least.
At one point, one of the girls that he had become friends with specifically to try and keep her from falling for a teacher… falls for that teacher. He nearly panics and rushes off upon finding this out… and arrives in time to find the teacher attempting to molest her as he feared.

To say that he is furious would be an understatement.

Through a combination of burgeoning vampiric strength, the power of a demigod, and the Dark Side of the Force he quite literally rips the kraken limb from limb. There’s no strategy, no coherence, just snarls and rage at the one who dared hurt one of his own. He crushes the teacher’s torso at the last, ignoring his screams as he ends its life… and then turns to Mizore, the threatened girl and checks if she’s alright.

In his mind, there’s no switch, it’s natural. From nearly mindless fury to concern and soft words in an instant and it doesn’t even register.

But Tsukune realizes. And while he’s quiet at the time, he brings it up later, noting that OCdoriol is becoming more and more like a monster by being around them. This scares him badly and he makes an effort to avoid that happening.

This also gets him a stalker in the girl he saved. Very awkward.
He occasionally has trouble remembering things, but Tsukune within him helps, though the younger human starts to worry at how spacey OCdoriol can be at times.

He comes into very direct conflict with the Disciplinary squad, which is one of the most powerful groups on campus, which brings OCdoriol into direct conflict with a Four Tailed Kitsune. That fight does not go well for Archer, he injures his opponent, but then gets completely roasted.



Dragon Age Origins
He’s summoned once again and has to start all over

This time he gets through the whole game, gaining Fade magic from absorbed souls and figuring out why his other magics weren’t working (and for the most part, still don’t work), but still, he focuses on his swordplay. He drinks dragon blood and gains the aspect of a dragon in order to increase his power, allowing him to project an aura of pain and fear.

He’s not a leader this time around, partially because he struggles to keep himself coherent. Flashes of memories not his own superimpose themselves on his world occasionally, and he sometimes speaks in languages not his own.

He dissipates when he kills the Archdemon

And that's that.

EDIT: The forum ate my formatting so I ran the text through a HTML interpreter. This is how it turned out.

I was wrong about the Force. I just remembered that it was specifically hax enough to provide both power and skill to a well tuned individual.

Also haha, some of this criticism is stupidly exaggerated, or just my silly opinion. Please ignore those, and focus on the more logical points.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2014, 12:45:12 AM by Frostyvale »

Cherry Lover

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #31 on: March 21, 2014, 03:40:50 AM »
Hmm, a copy of the thing you're originally replying to would be helpful. I presume it's what he posted on BL....

Frostyvale

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #32 on: March 21, 2014, 11:43:09 PM »
Everything I'm replying to is quoted inside the post.

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2014, 04:55:24 PM »
What Frostyvale is replying to was posted on BL yes, the revisions are due to some feedback I got from there, I just wanted to clean it up more before I posted it here. This is the revised version:

Basic Premise: Self Insert is thrown into the Holy Grail War and killed for obvious reasons, but his ‘wish’ of not dying is granted by the corrupt grail the same way it granted Avengers.

It shunts him into the kaleidoscope, keeping him from dying, but dooming him to endlessly go to other realms, being summoned or replacing the damaged minds of characters. Each time he dies, his soul is damaged by the backlash, causing him to lose memories and thoughts over time. His soul begins to consume other souls to patch itself up, which causes more memory and mental problems due to the new memories and feelings not his own, causing him to slowly spiral into insanity even as he grows in power.

The story follows his growth in power to that of a true Heroic Spirit, but also his gradual loss of identity and growing insanity as he tries to do the right thing.

First Swing[/b][/i]
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Statline:
Name: Jacob *****
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Assassin (False)
Master: Caster
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 140 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His deep-set eyes and underbite being his only real distinguishing traits he possesses
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: X
Agility: X
Endurance: X
Mana: N/A
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: X



Skills:[/b]
Incarnate: A+
Servants possessing this skill are not truly spirits or wraiths. Higher ranks representing a Servant closer to life and possessing a living body. This skill reduces the strain of maintaining the Servant, and higher ranks also allow the Servant to respire Prana on their own. However even a minimal rank in this Skill forbids a Servant from entering Astral Form. At this rank, Gaia acknowledges Assassin as a human and does not put pressure to remove him from the world; only death can remove the Servant from the world.

Encyclopedic Knowledge: D
Assassin has a surprising breadth of knowledge on many subjects.

Exposure to the Kaleidoscope: B
A unique skill, this represents Assassin’s exposure to the depths of the Kaleidoscope and the many things therein. He possesses outside knowledge about universes which are fictional in his home universe. He is aware of things he could not otherwise know. In particular, he is aware of much information relating to the ‘Fate’ and ‘Unlimited Blade Works’ routes of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Additionally, due to his exposure to the overwhelming nature of 「 」 Assassin is resistant to any sensory or mental overload effects.


Noble Phantasms:
N/A
F/SN[/b]
Because of a broken and twisted Grail and Caster’s overwhelming power, a living being from the depths of the Kaleidoscope is pulled as a Servant, using the Second Magic rather than the Third, summoning OCdoriol as (False) Assassin. As he is still truly alive, he doesn't need prana from Caster, nor is he bound to the arch, so he hauls ass once he can and tries to get into contact with Rin or Shirou.

It's on the UBW route and he's able to get into contact with Shirou. It takes some convincing, but the group is at least willing to give him consideration. He tries to convince Archer that his plan won't work and that the group (and Sakura) needs him (Archer), but it's not much later that Caster kills him horribly for his betrayal, using her pseudo-command-seal to make him quite literally suffer to death... and OCdoriol doesn't want to die, he wants to get away… it's all he can think about at those last moments-... and the Grail, twisted as it is, grants his wish. It renders him unable to truly die, but sends him cascading through the kaleidoscope.



Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic[/b]
Replaces Revan’s artificial personality. He dies on Talos from a blaster bolt to the face that he didn’t dodge. His blaster sticks with him as a ‘phantasm’, though that’s using the term very loosely.



Baldur’s Gate[/b]
Summoned by a Tsundere Elf Wizard protagonist as a Familiar.

He can’t communicate with anyone except his master empathically.

She’s irritated with him, though confused as well, but she does her best to take care of him since he’s just as confused as she is and obviously scared. She’s simply too much of a good guy to do otherwise. She gets him equipped with basic armor and a sword and taught basic not-dying skills, especially since he takes a portion of her power to maintain. He takes up using a shortbow as he’s a natural with it and it’s a way to help out without getting up close and personal with stabby things.

Ocdoriol and his master try to teach each other some basic language skills to make it easier to communicate. In doing this, Ocdoriol realizes he doesn’t have a name anymore, the only thing coming to mind being Kojirou Sasaki which he knows isn’t right… still, he has to give her something to call him other than Familiar, and goes with Sasaki.
 
A targeted Dispel Magic hits him and his master in the back of the fight and he dissipates.



Familiar of Zero[/b]
Summoned as part of the ritual, but as a wraith bound to Saito. ‘Sasaki’ struggles to convince Saito that A). Saito isn’t insane B). Sasaki’s trying to help and that C). Sasaki isn’t a stupid mirage damnit! Look at me! Listen! Don’t provoke her! She’s your connection to the world and being a perv won’t- god damnit Saito! Eyes on her face!

From the point of view of a wraith who can’t feel anything except tangentially through Saito, it’s rather weird. While Sasaki can’t really affect the storyline much, his coaching and more mature stance subtly influences Saito’s relationships.

Saito doesn’t truly think Sasaki is real, but he’s willing to admit that he’s at least helpful and more like his conscience rather than a voice in his head telling him to kill things.

A priest that Saito runs across offers to exorcise him of the ‘evil spirit’ following him along and Saito goes along with it, Sasaki realizes that this means he’s going to be kicked out and has a brief panic attack trying to convince Saito not to! But he’s still kicked out.
Second Swing[/b][/i]
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Statline:
N/A – Not meaningfully different from the previous one
F/SN[/b]
Summoned as (False) Assassin again, though this time with his leather armor, sword, shield, spear and bow. He avoids pissing off Caster as much as he initially did due to his shitty status since he at least has weapons of his own this time.

Still runs though, having an easier time of finding Shirou and Rin, though this time it seems like the Fate route instead. Shirou believes him easily, it’s Rin that’s hard to convince, not that ‘Sasaki’ is surprised by this. He begs for her to A). help hide him from Caster and B). Teach him magic as well. Anything he can learn to help him survive.

His magic circuits are activated (all 8 of the shit-tier circuits), though this quite literally lights him on fire which scars him. Staying in the Boundary field that Rin erects, he’s hidden enough from Caster that she doesn’t bother looking for him, acting as an info-dump for her to try and manipulate the war. ‘Sasaki’ has a fair amount of knowledge about the Fate and UBW routes, but only the most basic info on the HF route. But it’s enough that Rin ends up saving Sakura though Rider is killed in the process.

Caster arrives at the home while the team is away, intending to hold Taiga hostage to get Saber… and finding (False) Assassin… and once again ordering him to suffer to death for his betrayal.




SW: KotOR[/b]
Replaces Revan once more, this time he’s a lot more careful than he was last time and is able to clear the ‘Talos level’, escaping with Bastilla and the others, using his previous limited training in the sword combined with more advanced technology as well. That and he’s a natural with a blaster as he is with most ranged weapons.

He starts to show his talent for creating items with the ease of modifying and upgrading his equipment. Entirely with upgrade kits at this early point, but he learns quickly.

They escape to Dantooine and, as per canon, they train Sasaki in the ways of the Jedi over several months, which he picks up at an astounding speed. He realizes that he’s tapping into the residual knowledge of his host body. Something he is fascinated with is how to use the Force to create items. He surprises the Jedi Masters in building his own lightsaber.

Moving on in the quest to find the Star Maps and thus the source of the enemies power.

He lacks the innate charisma that Revan truly possessed, but Sasaki is easy to like. He’s nice, honest, and concerned about people. Only Bastilla really doesn’t get along with him, which weirds him out since he normally gets along with hard-asses.
 
Sasaki leads his small team to the Wookie homeworld, helping free them from the corporation that’s taken control… but during the process his team has to fight what amounts to a force resistant land bound dragon. OCdoriol loses his left eye to the mauling he receives, but survives. He replaces it with a purple one quite literally just because he wants a purple one. He actually can’t see using it initially, though he got a version with infrared vision.

On Korriban, the Sith Academy, he sneaks his way in and learns from them over the course of a month or two. Mostly they’re teaching Dark Side techniques, but Sasaki is fascinated with Sith Alchemy. He learns very little in the time constraints and between playing the Academy against itself. He’s surprisingly good at this because despite seeming and being brutally honest, he’s capable of lying quite well.

After getting the headmaster and his assistant, the two most powerful Sith there to kill one another, he accesses the star map and is exhilarated by the power and skill he just showed, feeling the strength from the environment surging in him… and he suddenly feels himself slipping away as something dark and powerful rises up from within him.

The remnants of Revan’s personality surge up, empowered by the Dark Side to shunt Sasaki out of existence.

His blaster is swapped out for the long-handled lightsaber that Sasaki built for himself.





Baldur’s Gate[/b]
He’s re-summoned by the same mage. It’s not long before she’s able to cast a translation spell on him, at which point they have a long talk. He explains all of his limited knowledge of the first game and it’s plot/developments/quests. He shocks her with the truth of her heritage and is all for her choosing what she wants to do with it rather than telling anyone else. She ends up deciding to tell her friends the truth.

It doesn’t really click, but he keeps his cybernetic left eye.

At his request, she helps him learn arcane magic.

He can’t really use the Force here worth a damn, though the instinct works slightly, at least when facing sentient opponents. He’s able to figure out how to perform basic Reinforcement and Structural Analysis.

Quote from: Scene Concept
One of the party members is a manipulative dark elf and Sasaki admittedly likes her quite a bit. After his master, she’s the one he listens to the most for relatively little reward. Two of the more mature party members pull him aside at one point and try to convince him that she’s manipulating him…

“… duh?”

“I know it’s hard to bel-… wait, what?”

“Of course she’s manipulating me? She asks me to take her watch at night so she can go flirt with, I’m assuming, Dorn due to her given preferences. Her words are calculated to make it seem like she is attracted to me while encouraging me to do just that little bit more to please her as if it would be enough to get her to truly love me. And this is ignoring the calculated touches, glances, and general attitude she has. It’s obvious that she’s manipulating me.”

“If you know that, they why do you go along with it?”

“Why not? I don’t expect her to love me, I just enjoy her presence.”

The half elf blinked in a cross between surprise and confusion.

I rolled my eyes and gave her a small smile, “Jaheira, I don’t dance because I am a puppet on her strings, but because I enjoy the tune. Nothing more, nothing less.”

They get further in the series but he’s killed in battle by a wyvern when it swoops down and snatches him up, biting off his face before he can orient himself enough to fight back.





Familiar of Zero[/b]
He’s summoned on top of Saito once again, but it’s the same Saito who had Louise re-summon to bring him back. Saito realized a bit too late that Sasaki was truly afraid. And if he was a spirit rather than just something in his head… well Saito couldn’t just hurt him like that. Saito didn’t know if this would work or not, but it was worth a shot to make it up to Sasaki.

Sasaki is flattered and appreciative, rolling with it, the two settling into a brotherly/mentor-student relationship.

Sasaki’s intelligence, teaching, and relative emotional maturity helps ease some of the drama as he coaches Saito along while helping the young man stay calm and not provoke the girls. Saito amusingly plays off any sage advice or things as “a voice in my head”, doing so jokingly.

Sasaki discovers that he can actually use the Force through Saito, it’s more effective than in Baldur’s Gate, but still considerably weaker than in Star Wars. Since Sasaki himself doesn’t need much in the way sleep, he spends the time practicing with the Force, experimenting with it. He trains with Saito some trying to link up and allow Saito to use his precognitive edge.

There’s only a certain amount of non-interaction Sasaki can stand before he starts to prank people. It’s usually subtle stuff like things moving when people aren’t looking, but sometimes he deliberately trips Saito into the breasts of women or other such blatant things.

Through Saito, Sasaki helps keep Louise from being over-burdened in the war as well as arguing different tactics. He’s not an amazing ‘general’, but his lack of pride and ability to just shut the fuck up and think for hours on end helps make up for it some. It’s mostly that he (through Saito) offers a differing viewpoint compared to the traditional generals.

Sasaki helps Saito hold off the army, not seeing any way to avoid this. Sasaki works with Derflinger to get Saito as far away from the battlefield as possible after holding the army. Sasaki remembers that the half-elf can and will find him and heal him up… but Sasaki doubts he’ll be there. So he does his best to comfort the younger man, telling him he’s proud of what Saito’s accomplished, which brings a small smile to Saito’s face…

Sasaki even actually believes it some.
Third Swing[/b][/i]
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Stats:
Name: Sasaki?
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Saber (Wtf?)
Master: Emiya Shirou
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 145 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His deep-set eyes and underbite being his only real distinguishing traits he possesses
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E
Agility: E
Endurance: E
Mana: E
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: B



Skills:[/b]
Incarnate: A
Servants possessing this skill are not truly spirits or wraiths. Higher ranks representing a Servant closer to life and possessing a living body. This skill reduces the strain of maintaining the Servant, and higher ranks also allow the Servant to respire Prana on their own. However even a minimal rank in this Skill forbids a Servant from entering Astral Form. At this rank, Gaia acknowledges Saber as a human out of place and puts very little pressure to remove him from the world. This means that Saber only respires a small amount of prana per day.


Encyclopedic Knowledge: D
Saber has a surprising breadth of knowledge on many subjects.


Exposure to the Kaleidoscope: B
A unique skill, this represents Saber’s exposure to the depths of the Kaleidoscope and the many things therein. He possesses outside knowledge about universes which are fictional in his home universe. He is aware of things he could not otherwise know. In particular, he is aware of much information relating to the ‘Fate’ and ‘Unlimited Blade Works’ routes of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Additionally, due to his exposure to the overwhelming nature of 「 」 Saber is resistant to any sensory or mental overload effects.


The Force: C-
Saber has been trained to use his Od directly without converting it to prana, to affect the world around him.

Saber has a moderate amount of talent with this Skill, but he learned it in a far stronger form and in a universe far better suited to it, so this Skill is significantly less useful. It may only be used internally.

Using the Force externally invokes reduces the power of the effects by two ranks.

This skill allows Saber to enhance himself by drawing on the external life force of the world and grants him the following Skills at D rank: Instinct, Telekinesis, Presence Detection


Divine Words: X
Saber has basic training in the Arcane, a school of magic using a combination of the Divine Language, Formalcraft, and Runes to enact their will on the world.



Noble Phantasms:
Lightsaber: A-rank Anti-Personnel
A weapon from either a far flung future or a distant past, when unactivated it is merely a simple metal tube. But when it activated, a beam of intense energy extends from it, acting as an omnidirectional blade of plasma. It is a sword which cuts anything physical, even Noble Phantasms. More powerful Phantasms taking longer and longer amounts of continuous 'cutting time' to wear its way through. Up to D-rank weapon phantasms or C-rank defensive phantasms may be cut instantly with little effort. A rank defensive phantasms or B rank weapon phantasms take a minute of continuous effort to cut through. Weapons of A+ rank cannot be cut through as their mystery is too great.

As the weapon has no mass, it is extremely difficult if not impossible to block with the weapon, though it possesses the unique property of being able to be turned on and off.
F/SN[/b]
He gets summoned as-… Saber…? What the fu- … Oh fuck.

His Force-granted Instinct is at least partially functional, but he only helps Shirou avoid getting stabbed by Lancer by-… relying on the rules of hospitality? It was a complete guess on Sasaki’s part, but it works! Well, at the very least long enough for Archer/Rin to arrive.

He has absolutely piddly magic resistance and stats for a Saber, though he has his lightsaber which cuts damn near anything, even Berserker. He’s able to assist Archer enough to force a retreat from Berserker when encountered after getting Sasaki registered. He insists on going by Saber.

‘Saber’ takes the time to use his magics to ‘discover’ a lot about the situation. Information that Rin accepts with only a bit of trepidation as Saber has been only helpful so far, and while he admits to having a wish, her Archer doesn’t have one, so this might work out…

It takes pretty much no time at all for Rin to decide to head to the Matou mansion and break Sakura free. Saber has the idea to use his Force Drain Field on the worms and it works horrendously well. Each one has only the least bit of life force to it, and the field is weak and hard to maintain, but it kills all of the worms within almost ten meters of him while also recharging his Od.

It takes some effort, but Sasaki can exclude Shirou from the effect. Rin and Archer are willing to have the mild drain on their reserves in return for the protection.

Sakura is utterly stunned that her sempai and sister have come to save her and still care for her even after learning how ‘filthy’ she is. Rin tries to play off her concerns, but Sasaki confides (not so quietly) to Sakura that Rin is just putting up a front and is really worried and happy that Sakura is safe. Cue very unhappy Rin.

Rin moves to talk to Caster with ‘Saber’ and Archer as her support, leaving Rider with Shirou/Sakura at the Emiya place. Archer considers turning on them to get the command seals removed, but decides against it, acknowledging that ‘Saber’ is useless. Sasaki takes offense to that! Archer shouldn’t have even considered turning on them with how super useless he is as a Saber. It’s like a damn comedy skit. Until Sasaki’s magically hidden (and hidden magically) lightsaber hilt gets close enough to Caster for him to activate it and cut her in two when negotiations fail.

Later, they end up fighting Berserker, and while Rider and Sasaki try to buy enough time for Archer to put up his Reality Marble, Sasaki taps deeply into the Dark Side of the Force to even stay alive since Berserker’s already been killed by his lightsaber and is thus immune to being killed by it again. By leaping onto Berserkers back and putting him into a draining headlock, Sasaki is actually able to reduce Berserker’s stats by a full rank before Berserker grabs him and slams him down into the ground and cleaves Sasaki in half. That wound sticks with Sasaki as a massive scar through him.


SW: KotOR[/b]
Once more replaces Revan, though this time it’s hard to keep everything under wraps. He still has his artificial left eye, which is rather… weird all considered.

Over time, he creates a surprisingly powerful and advanced suit of armor that combines low-tier Sith Alchemy with what little magic he can manage as well as using the Force to improve upon it much as one does a lightsaber. The armor (and outfit in general that he wears) becomes associated with him due to how distinctive it is. It’s heavy as hell with servo motors to ease its weight, but even then, without his Reinforced or Force enhanced strength it’s still a bit silly. The energy shields and various additional pieces of equipment are amazing additions, compensating for his (comparative) lack of skill with the lightsaber and the Force when pitted against the outright better combatants.

On Tattoine he gets HK-47 and is able to negotiate peacefully with the sand people, though there’s much exasperation here at people just being obstinate, the first time it was okay, but the second time is just hard. He knows it’s the first time for them but still it feels like he’s telling them stuff all over again.

On the Wookie homeworld he’s actually ready for it this time. He convinces the corporate headquarters to turn over the planet back to the Wookies for an increased profit… and legitimately means it. Money is something he is very good at and after having time to think about how to convince them of it between tries he’s able to pull it off.

On Korriban, Sasaki actually tries to learn as much Sith Alchemy and Sorcery as he can to supplement his magic, but once again he plays most of them for fools. It’s something he’s surprisingly good at, his apparent honesty and earnest nature make it easy to convince his superiors and ‘classmates’ that he really just wants to do the best he can for them… until he pulls the rug out from under them or stops supporting them and lets them fall on their own. He gains a few markers of the Dark Side here, veins along the right side of his face, even paler skin, his right eye slowly yellowing, but he’s been in control of his own darkness for a long time, it’s Revan’s and the surroundings that he has to learn how to control. It just feels so good to give in. Still he manages it and turns the Sith Academy inside out before he leaves, stealing most of their records and a fair amount of expensive equipment with none the wiser.

His companions call him out on his appearance, but that appearance fades over time amongst them and away from the ambient dark side energy. Just as he said it would. Still, Bastilla is very wary of him and the other Jedi are concerned.

On the water planet they have to deal with the trial and obstinate bureaucracy, things that Sasaki is actually good at. It’s when he’s got to go on his own into combat that he struggles.

The group sticks with him after learning his ‘secret’ (Oh noes! You’re really Revan?!). But when he has to fight the Dark Side Bastilla, he really has to work his ass off to talk her down as she obviously doesn’t love him as she would have the canon Revan.

When he finally fights Malak, Sasaki is willing to drain the mindless stored Jedi and attempts to puppeteer one of the bodies against Malak though this doesn’t work.  He finally beats Malak by using magic to literally make Malak slip and then take Malak’s arm. Despite having armor that essentially renders him immune to lightsabers and conventional attacks, despite this body’s strength in the Force, Sasaki simply lacks the skill to use it to its full potential, especially against someone like Malak… in a location so saturated with the Darkside that Sasaki has to struggle with going berserk, which would be an instant ticket to death.

Once defeating Malak, Sasaki stops the assault, taking control of the massive facility.

The Republic that he saved demands the Star Forge, and ‘Revan’ denies them, pointing out how dangerous it is. They almost threaten to attack, but he points out that the losses would be horrendous. Sasaki just wants to study the place some and tells the republic as such, but the Republic makes demands. He has no interest in war, but he also fully believes that this station is too dangerous to be used. He attempts to negotiate peacefully, and this is the only reason that things don't disolve into another war within a few days.

It’s over the course of a few weeks before he decides he’s pushed the Republics temper enough and decides to blow the place and run. Between using Structural Analysis as well as his own computers, Sasaki learns a number of principles and takes massive numbers of notes on the operation of the station and how it uses the Force to do things. How it draws on so much power in of itself boggles his mind, but he picks up bits and pieces and takes 3D pictures of everything.

While most of his companions go their separate ways, a few stick with him.

Quote from: Scene Idea
”Mission, you shouldn’t stay with me…”

“You can’t tell me otherwise Sasaki! You’re not leaving without me.”

“Mission… I’m probably going to die under a hail of blaster fire or someone’s lightsaber… there’ll be no happiness at the end of my story. Just sorrow and death, and if I’m lucky, the satisfaction that I’d done the best I could …”

“I-… No. I’m not abandoning you! Not just because it’s convenient. You didn’t do that to us and I’m not going to do it to you.”

After blowing up the Star Forge he runs into the galaxy with his few companions and hides. Slowly, years pass with them constantly on the run. If he could just settle in and hide he could do so, but he's unable to just stand by whenever he sees cruelty or things he can fix, so he occasionally pops up on the radar and the Republic follows.

Over nearly four years, Sasaki develops his armor as well as his lightsaber. His lightsaber is unusual in that he normally uses it as a single, but it’s truly a double that can split into two. One blade is longer and green while the other is short and a constant cascade of different colors. The short blade is mostly meant as a surprise weapon, and it’s color (rainbow) was something he did in memory of his girlfriend in his home reality who wanted one… it’s a reminder to himself that he’s not of this world and that he also has a home elsewhere.

One relatively normal day of hiding from the Republic, something different happens.

Cue assassins.

While he's dealt with bounty hunters plenty of times, these are force sensitive assassins. What a mess. And then the Lord of Pain, Darth Scion, appears to try and kill him. Sasaki holds the near-corpse off long enough for his companions to escape before he himself runs. Scion isn't as powerful as Malak, nor as skilled, but he's effectively immortal and still strictly better than Sasaki. Still, after seeing his skill it in action, Sasaki thinks he might be able to emulate it given some time, to use the Dark Side and the power of his pain to hold himself together...

Scion hounds them for a while, Sasaki killing more and more of Scion's assassins.

Then Darth Nihilus tries its hand at killing Sasaki, and damn near succeeds, trying to consume Sasaki in his entirety... but something* prevents it. Sasaki runs away.

The Traveler realizes that he’s been cut off from the Force to prevent Nihilus from consuming him whole.
 
Fuck.

However, remembering the second game in the series, he tries to develop Force Bonds with his companions once more, finding himself successful and re-connecting himself to the Force through them. He’s not entirely sure how that works, but it does. Still, he has to relearn much of the skill with the Force that he had gained, though his Sith Alchemy works just fine.

Still, he finds that his Od is only tenuously maintained without drawing power from around him.

By consuming the power of others he can increase his own and draining techniques come far easier to him now… even when he doesn’t intend to, he drains a fragment of the residual energy from those he kills to increase his own power.

Hearing that the Jedi are slowly being exterminated, Sasaki tries to get in contact with them, trying to convey to them wtf is happening, but they generally don't listen. Assholes.

Concerned about what might happen if he doesn’t, Sasaki tries to track down Darth Nihilus to make a hit and run attack as a ‘testing’ assault to see how well he can hold off the abomination without being at the risk of being consumed utterly.

He struggles to track him down… until Nihilus slaughters an entire planet and the Jedi Council upon it. Sasaki is there within the day and in a fit of fury, assaults Nihilus. His team with him struggles to keep up with the Dark-Side empowered traveler, but the fight between the two holes in the Force is much more even this time. Without the trump card of Nihilus’ “I Win” Force Drain, they’re more evenly matched. Sasaki is not as competent with a lightsaber, but his armor/shields compensate for this. Nihilus has much greater strength in the Force, but is matched by Sasaki’s Sith Alchemy, much greater variety of abilities, and insistence on forcing things closer than comfortable lightsaber range into straight hand to hand, where he is patently superior. That said, it’s not enough. A punch that would normally take off his head, merely knocks Nihilus’ mask off… revealing nothing inside except raging Dark Side power.

Yup. Time to leave.

While Sasaki can (if barely) match Nihilus, his companions can’t, and aren’t immune to Nihilus’ power. The Traveler has to cover their retreat before falling back himself.

Frustrated, Sasaki trains, trying to find other Jedi Masters to train with them to increase his power and re-learn as many Force Powers and skills as he can and pick up as many new ones as he can. He also properly learns several Lightsaber forms. The basic Shi-Cho, defensive Soresu, and specialized Trákata which makes use of the ability to turn the lightsaber on and off are his personal favorites, though he makes sure to learn some Makashi and Ataru as well, the specialized ligthsaber dueling form and the mobility form for varieties sake. Once again, he’s a determined generalist rather than a specialist.

But as he trains with a Jedi Master in hiding… the planet and his friends, who have stayed with him for several years now… all die around him.

Nihilus has come. And this time, with an ally. Both Scion and Nihilus are coming… and Nihilus had consumed the life and force energy of the entire planet, absorbing their souls (all but those that Sasaki had a Force Bond with, who Sasaki himself absorbed/consumed unknown to him at the time, this will come back to haunt him when he remembers things only they would know).

Horrified and stricken, Sasaki sends the only survivors, his droids, off to find the Jedi Exile and help them; if the multi-dimensional warrior can’t take down either of them, then they’re the only one that can threaten them. He doesn’t expect to survive, but he’s going to try to take out at least one damnit.

So he waits.

In the middle of a pavilion on a dead planet, deliberately setting up dozens of camera’s and recordings so that people will know about these damn bastards, Sasaki waits for the two Sith Lords to arrive. They appear, pre-empted by dozens of assassins… which do nothing to Sasaki as he just turns the very same power Nihilus has against them, consuming them whole.

And so he stands to meet his death.

He can’t beat both of them, hell, he can’t even beat Scion on his own. But damnit, he’ll take at least one of them down. Sasaki does surprisingly well, mostly by whipping out a completely different style every other move and his armor allowing him to use a completely unconventional style, letting him just tank several consecutive blows from their lightsabers before he needed to block.

He removes one of Scions arms… but the Lord of Pain re-attaches it mid combat. Sasaki cleaves Nihilus in two… which doesn’t kill the force of nature. Damnit, this is ridiculous. He taps further into the Dark Side of the Force, he loses an arm but reattaches it mid-combat and cleaves them both in half using the moment of surprise. This doesn’t stop either of them, but it slows them down long enough that he can try to drain Scion.

Sasaki is cut apart piece by piece, slowly broken down in the duel until he collapses and falls apart, unable to maintain the Dark Side sustaining effect, fading from this existence.

He gains both his lightsaber and his armor as ‘phantasms’ from this travel.



Baldur’s Gate[/b]
He’s summoned… by the same master as before. This surprises him a bit since he expected to reset upon death but he’s not complaining! And this time he even has his powerful armor! It’s been a little bit since he was last here since his master couldn’t bring herself to summon again due to mourning for him. She smacks the crap out of him for making her worry and cry like that, but he just hugs her, happy to be back and be amongst friends he hasn’t seen in almost five years of relative time.

Since he has no way of refueling its generator (which can also recharge his other equipment like his lightsaber), he has to figure out a way to ghetto-rig the generator to run off of atmosphere rather than the purer fuel cells. Functional? Yes. Efficient? Fuck no.

Annoyingly, while he still has all of his skill that he developed, all of the conditioning he put his body through is gone as it wasn’t his body, not to mention that his Force Abilities are considerably weaker outside of his body.

The cost of maintaining him has gone up noticeably, even though she is more powerful. Sasaki tries Force Bonding to her, which actually makes it a bit easier since they can share power, and by Force Bonding with other Party Members he reduces the strain on his master. He also works on his draining field, practicing maintaining it in combat without affecting those he’s Force Bonded to.

The group pushes on until they fight the final boss of the first game, the demigod of murder. The fight is intense and difficult, pushing the party to their limits against the powerful demigod and his cronies, but in the end they’re victorious. But when Saerevok dissolves into golden motes of light, instead of dispersing and fading, they surge into Sasaki as his own soul desperately tries to patch itself up by consuming it. Sasaki absorbs both the soul and divine spark on complete accident.

However, this also includes a sudden spike in his maintenance cost, which his master can’t provide for in her exhausted state, and what little power Sasaki had left failing him rather quickly. And so he fades from existence.



Familiar of Zero[/b]
He’s summoned physically by Tiffania.

While they generally get along fine, Sasaki and his Master have serious conflict over the killing of enemies

Sasaki has to adjust to actually being here and physically interacting with the nobility. Sasaki doesn’t take Sheffield lightly at all and nearly kills her the first time they fight. After that point she goes out of her way to try and take him out as he’s a threat to her master. They have a freaking field day every time they fight, Sasaki eventually beats her and takes all of her magic items, no he doesn’t know how to use them all or have her Class ability to use them but damnit, magic items! (This isn’t intended as a large power boost as he doesn’t know how to use them worth a damn, but meant to demonstrate his tendency to hoard and the looting habits he’s developed from being in RPGs).

Introducing Sasaki to the rest of the group is awkward as he knows them, and Saito knows him, but they don’t know him. He tends to try and settle any drama that occurs but is, for the most part, quiet and stays out of things. He can’t resist teasing sometimes though, it’s just way too easy. He gets along fantastically with Tabitha at very least.

He creates a magical, Sith-alchemy enhanced vibroblade, it screams when it cuts and ‘moans’ when it’s swung because of the vibrations. He bases its magic off of Derflinger’s, making it a lesser anti-magic blade that can cut through nearly anything.

SUPER-SPEEEEEED (meets precognition and insta-kill weapon)

Unlike Saito, Sasaki is very obviously a spellcaster, which weirds most of the mages out horrendously.

The Pope does not like Sasaki because he questions. He’ll stand up in front of everyone and ask a damn question, he won’t just accept assumptions. He’s also determined to at least try some diplomacy with the elves.

Once he finds out what the real problem is (the Windstones), he questions why they don’t use magic to extract them. They don’t have the ability quite simply. So Sasaki figures out a way to do so. They’re deeper in the earth than he would have thought, but with Henrietta’s blessing and support of researchers he’s able to figure a way to siphon the power off from them without being in contact with the stones, funneling it into other gems.

The actual diplomacy with the elves nearly breaks down, there are skirmishes because of it, but some elves are convinced to help them figure out a way to avert the crisis.

Eventually, the political enemies that he and the other protagonists have made make a massive attempt to slaughter them with elven assassins… and Sasaki pushes himself to his limits protecting them, but he fails. While he can take the elves on his own, he can’t do so while protecting his master… he hesitates at throwing himself in front of a blow, he does it but just a moment too slow and his master dies. In a fit of fury, he cuts loose in the little time he has left and slaughters multiple elves before he fades out of existence.

Andoriol

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2014, 04:56:12 PM »
Aaaand double post because of character limits:

Fourth Swing[/b][/i]
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Stats:
Name: Sasaki (Demon)
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Caster (Okay, that makes more sense)
Master: ???
Age: 29
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 150 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His eyes are deep-set, his left eye a vibrant purple beneath the scars that cover the upper left of his face
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E
Agility: E
Endurance: E
Mana: E
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: B



Skills:[/b]
Incarnate: A
Servants possessing this skill are not truly spirits or wraiths. Higher ranks representing a Servant closer to life and possessing a living body. This skill reduces the strain of maintaining the Servant, and higher ranks also allow the Servant to respire Prana on their own. However even a minimal rank in this Skill forbids a Servant from entering Astral Form. At this rank, Gaia acknowledges Caster as a human out of place and puts very little pressure to remove him from the world. This means that Caster only respires a small amount of prana per day.


Divinity: D
Having stolen the Divinity of a powerful Demigod of Murder, Caster has the spark of divinity within him.


Encyclopedic Knowledge: D
Caster has a surprising breadth of knowledge on many subjects.


Item Creation: D+
Caster has moderate skill in the creation of items, enhanced by his class. In particular, he is adept at creating technological items or those dealing with Sith Alchemy, in which case his skill is Rank Up.


Exposure to the Kaleidoscope: B
A unique skill, this represents Caster’s exposure to the depths of the Kaleidoscope and the many things therein. He possesses outside knowledge about universes which are fictional in his home universe. He is aware of things he could not otherwise know. In particular, he is aware of much information relating to the ‘Fate’ and ‘Unlimited Blade Works’ routes of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Additionally, due to his exposure to the overwhelming nature of 「 」 Caster is resistant to any sensory or mental overload effects.


The Force: A-
Caster has been trained to use his Od directly without converting it to prana, to affect the world around him.

Caster has considerable mastery of his own Od as well as how to manipulate the Od of others using his own. He is able to quadruple his own healing rate as well as internally enhance himself. If he can gain contact with another being he can drain their own Od. Due to the nature of this universe in comparison to the one in which he learned this technique, the effectiveness of this Skill when used externally is ranked down.
 
Using the Force externally invokes reduces the power of the effects by two ranks.

This skill allows Caster to enhance himself by drawing on the external life force of the world and grants him the following Skills: A+ Rank Instinct, C Rank Telekinesis, B Rank Sith Alchemy, and D Rank Presence Detection.


Divine Words: D
Caster has training in the Arcane, a school of magic using a combination of the Divine Language, Formalcraft, and Runes to enact their will on the world.



Noble Phantasms:
Lightsaber: A-rank Anti-Personnel
A weapon from either a far flung future or a distant past, when inactive it appears as a simple metal tube. But when it activated, a beam of intense energy extends from it, acting as an omnidirectional blade of plasma. It is a sword which cuts anything physical, even Noble Phantasms. More powerful Phantasms taking longer and longer amounts of continuous 'cutting time' to wear its way through. Up to D-rank weapon phantasms or C-rank defensive phantasms may be cut instantly with little effort. A rank defensive phantasms or B rank weapon phantasms take a minute of continuous effort to cut through. Weapons of A+ rank cannot be cut through as their mystery is too great.

As the weapon has no mass, it is extremely difficult if not impossible to block with the weapon, though it possesses the unique property of being able to be turned on and off.


Armor of the Traveler: E+ Rank Defense, Support
The item that Caster considers his greatest creation. Heavy body armor infused with the Force at every step of its creation, it is made from technology from either the far flung future or the distant past. The armor increases its wearer’s attunement to the Force, contributing to Caster’s A-rank Force skill.

The armor may project a barrier of crystalized plasma that reduces the power of any attack by one rank.



Other Traits:
Affinity: Understanding / Learning

Element: Ether

Weakness: N/A
Likes: Cats, Writing, Sleeping, Reading, Cuddling, Cooking, Science
Dislikes: Idiocy, Tomatoes, Cruelty
Talents: Cooking, Cleaning, Writing, Learning, Mathamatics, Physics, Accounting, Business
F/SN[/b]
Summoned as Caster (due to his tendency towards Item Creation and his most visible feats being magical)

His master is a massive dickbag who tries to make Sasaki use his magic for his own gain and ignore the war until the last.

Yeah. No.

Sasaki lops his arm off with his lightsaber before stealing all of his grimoires and heading off. He makes use of the Dark Side of the Force to drain energy from people and life around him as he moves, weakening them but sustaining himself until he can get to the Temple, where he uses the grimoires and his own knowledge to create a more permanent solution of boundary fields and magical defenses.

Since it's so long before the HGW, Sasaki has plenty of time to set up his defenses which are layered and many. He simply plays himself off as a prospective monk... which is easier than he'd thought due to his Jedi training.

Creating a Crystal Ball, he scries the master of assassin before they summon, a very average mangus with only a few circuits but a massive determination to reach the Root… Sasaki offers him a chance, give up his arm and command seals or die. Between Force persuasion (which the mangus doesn’t recognize as magic and resist) and Sasaki’s status as a Servant, he convinces the prospective master to give up his arm, which is a lot less painful for him with his cooperation.

He studies the command seal bruise on the arm for a bit before figuring out how to use Sith Alchemy to transfer it to Kuzuki and have the teacher summong. Some tense negotiations ensue between Hassan and Sasaki, but Sasaki is able to convince Hassan that he’s telling the truth about how fubar the situation is and how badly he needs help.

He keeps an eye on things as best he can from the Temple... and senses Lancer appear in the city. He goes to meet them to discuss terms and keep her from at least trusting Kirei... but he's too late. Kirei has already taken Bazett's arm and Lancer, leaving her to die. Quickly, 'Caster' uses his Healing Potions to save her before whisking her off to his Temple. With a combination of Sith Alchemy, the Force, and another healing potion he grafts the arm from his previous master on her before she wakes up.

She’s really leery about working with him, not that he can blame her, but with a proper Master as well as his knowledge (which he plays off as due to his Scrying of things) they’re a terrifying pair, especially with Kuzuki and Assassin. He can’t enhance people as powerfully as Medea could have, but with Bazette’s runes and his own combination of Force enhancement as well as Reinforcement-style Arcane magic, it’s still a decisive boost for all involved.

Sasaki places the magical equivalent of landmines along the entire stretch of the path to the temple, not breaking the flow of the leyline but rather tapping into it to kill any Servant silly enough to attack

Cue Berserker attacking the Temple, without False Assassin, they have trouble, but Sasaki can rain magic down at them with impunity, the runes of paralysis, devastation, destruction, and more all slowing down the Magic-Resistance-less Berserker. Berserker simply can’t get too far from Illya or the spells raining down on him will kill her, and Illya isn’t immune to the traps that Berserker triggers and the two have to fall back. Berserker himself was never in any danger, but Illya was. Cue sighs of relief from both Bazette and Sasaki.

Sasaki takes tons of (electronic) notes on the runes that Bazette uses as well as everything she mentions about them. While he uses Sith Alchemy to enhance her outfit, she uses runes to enhance his armor in return.

Sasaki meets with Rin as she comes out of school, Blood Fort Andromeda has been set up. Rin automatically assumes that ‘Caster’ is the source of the effect, but he denies it as he tries to crack the magic put into it. Doubting she’ll listen to him now, he only points out that her sister has been suffering, thinking that she doesn’t care about her, ‘idly’ noting the horrors she has to withstand. Rin almost has Archer attack him for this (wounded by Saber or not), but thinks better of attacking a Servant at full strength with a partial strength one and heads off to investigate his claim.

Not two days later, the Matou mansion is reduced to rubble.

Sasaki feels like a complete badass considering that he’s been successfully manipulating the war so far aside from the whole ‘summoning Saber properly’ bit. He didn’t have time, but still, this has been working really well so far (at least in his mind).

Shirou gets kidnapped by Illya and Sasaki finds this out when he notices the prana surging in the Eizenbern lands. Excalibur had been used. Well fuck. He rushes over to find an exhausted Saber, wounded Rider, Shirou, Rin and Sakura all together. Damnit.

He’s not really able to convince them of his good intentions, but they don’t attack him. Still, he ensures they’re all healed up and safe before getting them home.

Gilgamesh takes exception to ‘Caster’s interference with things and attacks the temple. Sasaki is rather obviously unable to hold him off, but teleports Bazett to the Emiya household with instructions to get Saber recharged (With a tantric ritual if necessary) and that Shirou holds Saber’s Sheath. Between himself, Assassin, and Kuzuki, they try to hold Gilgamesh (or even beat him if at all possible) as long as they can. Between the three of them, they don’t last long, but Sasaki is actually able to remove one of Gilgamesh’s arms with a cheap trick and his lightsaber before getting exploded



Baldur’s Gate[/b]
Summoned once more by the same master, there’s no plot to really resolve right now, she was more checking that he was okay… then smacks the crap out of him for worrying her like that. He’s given the Sword of Chaos, Saerevok’s powerful blade, which works for him just fine since as far as the Sword is concerned, Sasaki is Saerevok.

Only a small portion of the group that helped take down the demigod Saerevok stays together, bound by bonds of mutual friendship! (and safety)

Sasaki creates a new ability using Alteration, Reinforcement, and the Force creatively to create gemstones and gold from the particulates in the air or water, which makes the group surprisingly rich. Rich enough to massively expand their spellbooks, equipment, and get proper instruction on how to craft magical items as well as blacksmithing. He heavily improves his equipment by enchanting all the things with the help of his Master. They get Sasaki an extensive ‘spellbook’ in his electronics. In particular, Sasaki re-works his armor and enchants it heavily, adding magical equipment and mystic codes everywhere.

Then they get kidnapped.

Sasaki is experimented on heavily as he’s obviously stolen the divine essence and soul of someone else, and as such, of great interest to their captor, who cuts him open and studies him extensively, but deliberately avoids killing him.

They eventually break out, and once they’re out of a life or death situation, Sasaki has a breakdown. He was barely able to keep them from casting spells once they got out and thus getting locked up with their captor.

After enough time to calm down, he’s insistent upon them going after the ass-wad before he does some serious harm (which he knows he will) and the most of the group agrees. The ones that don’t are either swayed by the simple thing called revenge or because they’re friends are all going along with it.

They ally with the Thieves Guild to get to the prison where he’s held and gather up a sum of money to make it happen. They perform increasingly epic feats and quests to do so, gathering more allies as they go. Sasaki creates several extradimensional holding bags to carry more equipment, particularly a belt for his blades

Sasaki starts to have a romance with one of the party members that’s been with them for a long time

One of their companions is killed… and Sasaki goes outright berserk on the enemies that did so, pulling deeply on the Dark Side of the Force and the stolen Divinity to utterly dominate them.

They fight an ancient Dragon as part of one quest and Sasaki nearly gets eaten, but fuck if they don’t take it down. However, the confrontation drains his Master to the point where she can’t sustain his existence, and he fades out.



Rosario + Vampire[/b]
Sasaki wakes up on a bus, confused as hell. He gets run into by a girl on a bike who introduces herself, sucks his blood, and then basically runs off.

He finds out he’s at Youkai Academy, a school for monsters that teaches said monsters how to integrate with human society. Apparently, his mind has replaced the original main characters, which really worries Sasaki as he’s afraid he killed someone that definitely didn’t deserve it. He also has his eyes, which is very weird as the rest of him is Tsukune.

Sasaki remembers the story well enough to know that if he doesn’t act, several girls are going to be molested at least, likely raped, others killed. He can’t, just… can’t let that happen. It goes against everything he is. He quickly becomes friends with Moka, the vampire that hit him, and searches for another of the girls that would be part of the harem to become friends with her and try and keep her from falling for the guy that would molest her. He also tries to find the young witch before she gets herself killed.

He’s successful, though he gets embroiled in some minor combat and wounded without his normal equipment or the conditioning he’d been working on. Even with functioning magic and the Force, without his equipment or conditioning he’s not as much of a match for superhuman monsters as he’d like.

He gets along with the girls rather well, though there’s no real romantic interest on his side or even most of the girls. The young witch and the succubus are exceptions, though for varying reasons. While he’s flattered and finds the succubus attractive, it’s really awkward for him considering he’s nearly a decade older than them mentally.

And then he gets his neck broke by a monster that gets a lucky shot in and as he fades mentally, Sasaki curses internally that it had happened. He’d gotten cocky.



Dragon Age Origins[/b]
‘Summoned’ by the Lyrium Well into the deep roads, he has to fight his way out and has to be turned into a Gray Warden to save his life. He ensconces Tsukune deep in his soul to keep him safe from the taint. His magic just outright doesn't work here. Prana based abilities simply don't function outside of his body and even his Magic Circuits don't respire power at any reasonable rate.

With his magic on the fritz, he has difficulty in combat. He learns how to be a Templar from one of his companions to counter the magic of others while developing a style of combat to fight beings stronger, faster, and more skilled than he is as he's not all that strong without his magical enhancements.

Due to his relative experience, he starts to take the lead of the growing team.

They complete the Mages Guild (he absorbs the souls of several of the Abominations, which messes with his head), the Gray Warden Keep, and start to get things done in Dennerim… before Sasaki is assassinated for being the most ‘obvious’ leader of the Gray Wardens and having let his guard down.

Cherry Lover

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #35 on: March 24, 2014, 05:00:16 AM »
Hmm, interesting.

It's nice to see that he seems to have found a way to free Sakura from Zouken's grasp, although he seems not to have thought of it in the Fourth Swing. I like the whole "using dark side powers for good" aspect.

I have quite a few comments to make. You didn't take account of the stuff I said before about the lightsaber blocking. Having no mass does not mean it cannot exert a force. Oh, and is there a reason why his Noble Phantasm stat is listed as B when the lightsaber is rank A? That doesn't make sense....

Also, is there a reason you've removed Familiar of Zero and replaced it with Rosario + Vampire for the Fourth Swing?

And, I also have a whole bunch of more specific comments:

it's not much later that Caster kills him horribly for his betrayal, using her pseudo-command-seal to make him quite literally suffer to death...

What do you mean, "pseudo-command spell"? And, why didn't she use it before? Command spells don't have range limits....

Also, what do you mean "orders him to suffer to death"? I presume you mean she uses the command spell to cause him to die horribly, but I'm not entirely sure command spells quite work like that (I don't think you could use one to order a servant to grow an arm back, for example). I guess it could overload his circuits or something, but other than that I'm not sure what it means.

Quote
and OCdoriol doesn't want to die, he wants to get away… it's all he can think about at those last moments-... and the Grail, twisted as it is, grants his wish. It renders him unable to truly die, but sends him cascading through the kaleidoscope.

How does he get to make a wish? Is this like what happened with Avenger? If so, then I think Avenger is different because his very essence is the "wish" to be All the Evil of the World, so that wish survives even when his consciousness is destroyed.

Quote
A priest that Saito runs across offers to exorcise him of the ‘evil spirit’ following him along and Saito goes along with it, Sasaki realizes that this means he’s going to be kicked out and has a brief panic attack trying to convince Saito not to! But he’s still kicked out.

Why does he go along with it? He admitted that the spirit wasn't a bad influence, and now he knows he's real I don't see the problem, really.

I see you've explained that he felt bad later on, but it still seems odd that he went through with it in the first place.

Quote
Sasaki helps Saito hold off the army, not seeing any way to avoid this. Sasaki works with Derflinger to get Saito as far away from the battlefield as possible after holding the army. Sasaki remembers that the half-elf can and will find him and heal him up… but Sasaki doubts he’ll be there. So he does his best to comfort the younger man, telling him he’s proud of what Saito’s

accomplished, which brings a small smile to Saito’s face…

Sasaki even actually believes it some.

What causes him to disappear here? Nothing seems to have killed him.

Quote
Spoiler for Servant Stats:
Name: Sasaki?
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Saber (Wtf?)
Master: Emiya Shirou
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 145 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His deep-set eyes and underbite

being his only real distinguishing traits he possesses
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E
Agility: E
Endurance: E
Mana: E
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: B

He doesn't seem to have either Magic Resistance or Riding here. As a Saber-class servant he should possess both, they're class skills. Even if it is fairly weak he would still have it.


Quote
Sakura is utterly stunned that her sempai and sister have come to save her and still care for her even after learning how ‘filthy’ she is. Rin tries to play off her concerns, but Sasaki confides (not so quietly) to Sakura that Rin is just putting up a front and is really worried and happy that Sakura is safe. Cue very unhappy Rin.

I'm not sure how much Rin would play down her concerns in this case. It's kind-of difficult for her to do so once she's made the decision to go rescue her, and Sakura needs the support. It still seems somewhat amusing, though.

Quote
After blowing up the Star Forge he runs into the galaxy with his few companions and hides. Slowly, years pass with them constantly on the run. If he could just settle in and hide he could do so, but he's unable to just stand by whenever he sees cruelty or things he can fix, so he occasionally pops up on the radar and the Republic follows.

Why is the Republic (especially the Jedi) after him? The Star Forge is gone, and he clearly had good reason for blowing it up....

Quote
Over nearly four years, Sasaki develops his armor as well as his lightsaber. His lightsaber is unusual in that he normally uses it as a single, but it’s truly a double that can split into two. One blade is longer and green while the other is short and a constant cascade of different colors. The short blade is mostly meant as a surprise weapon, and it’s color (rainbow) was something

he did in memory of his girlfriend in his home reality who wanted one… it’s a reminder to himself that he’s not of this world and that he also has a home elsewhere.

Is a Rainbow coloured lightsaber really canonically possible? It seems unlikely to me, given the basic mechanics behind them.

Aaaand double post because of character limits:

Hmm, sorry about that.

I raised it slightly, but it seems like the forum software limits the post size to 65535 characters, so I can't make it any higher....

Quote
Creating a Crystal Ball, he scries the master of assassin before they summon, a very average mangus with only a few circuits but a massive determination to reach the Root… Sasaki offers him a chance, give up his arm and command seals or die. Between Force persuasion (which the mangus doesn’t recognize as magic and resist) and Sasaki’s status as a Servant, he convinces

the prospective master to give up his arm, which is a lot less painful for him with his cooperation.

This seems like a bit of a dick move, given that the guy doesn't really seem very bad. Also, if they guy hasn't summoned a servant yet then he doesn't have command spells. All he has is a mark that says he's allowed to summon a servant, which I don't think is transferable (and, further, I believe there are more than 7 such marks, at least in principle).

Quote
He studies the command seal bruise on the arm for a bit before figuring out how to use Sith Alchemy to transfer it to Kuzuki and have the teacher summong. Some tense negotiations ensue between Hassan and Sasaki, but Sasaki is able to convince Hassan that he’s telling the truth about how fubar the situation is and how badly he needs help.

Why would Hassan care?  He's canonically Lawful Evil, he might do it because he's told to but he won't do it out of any desire to help.

Quote
Sasaki meets with Rin as she comes out of school, Blood Fort Andromeda has been set up. Rin automatically assumes that ‘Caster’ is the source of the effect, but he denies it as he tries to crack the magic put into it. Doubting she’ll listen to him now, he only points out that her sister has been suffering, thinking that she doesn’t care about her, ‘idly’ noting the horrors

she has to withstand. Rin almost has Archer attack him for this (wounded by Saber or not), but thinks better of attacking a Servant at full strength with a partial strength one and heads off to investigate his claim.

Not two days later, the Matou mansion is reduced to rubble.

Hmm, how does he convince Rin to believe him? Enough to check it out, I mean.

Also, with Rider still around, how does Rin free Sakura and demolish the mansion so easily? I mean, in HF she works out something is wrong, but she doesn't just demolish the house (admittedly, at that point Sakura is living with Shirou).

Quote
Sasaki creates a new ability using Alteration, Reinforcement, and the Force creatively to create gemstones and gold from the particulates in the air or water

What? How?

There are not many gold particles in the air....

I guess gemstones might have slightly more chance of success, since diamonds are made of carbon, but even then there isn't that much Carbon Dioxide in the air, and you still need to alter it a hell of a lot.

Quote
Then they get kidnapped.

How? They seem pretty damn powerful to me. Also, why?

Quote
They eventually break out, and once they’re out of a life or death situation, Sasaki has a breakdown. He was barely able to keep them from casting spells once they got out and thus getting locked up with their captor.

What? Keep who from casting spells?

This whole paragraph doesn't make sense....

Quote
They ally with the Thieves Guild to get to the prison where he’s held and gather up a sum of money to make it happen. They perform increasingly epic feats and quests to do so, gathering more allies as they go. Sasaki creates several extradimensional holding bags to carry more equipment, particularly a belt for his blades

It's not clear here whether they kill the guy or not. Also, how did the guy end up in prison? And, if he is, then why do they need to kill him?
« Last Edit: March 24, 2014, 05:01:08 AM by Cherry Lover »

Andoriol

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #36 on: March 24, 2014, 06:57:53 AM »
Hmm, interesting.

It's nice to see that he seems to have found a way to free Sakura from Zouken's grasp, although he seems not to have thought of it in the Fourth Swing. I like the whole "using dark side powers for good" aspect.
He did what he could in the Fourth Swing, he was limited by his lack of connection to Rin or his lack of ability to convince her that yes, he really was telling the truth.

Quote
I have quite a few comments to make. You didn't take account of the stuff I said before about the lightsaber blocking. Having no mass does not mean it cannot exert a force. Oh, and is there a reason why his Noble Phantasm stat is listed as B when the lightsaber is rank A? That doesn't make sense....
I disagree on the lightsaber blocking. Blocking with it is like blocking with a rapier, it can technically work, but it's not a good idea.

And the NP being B is my bad, I've always been confused by how that's calculated.

Quote
Also, is there a reason you've removed Familiar of Zero and replaced it with Rosario + Vampire for the Fourth Swing?
Yes. In the current system, he only has a limited number of universes per Swing, but once he completes one, it's swapped out for a new one.

Quote
it's not much later that Caster kills him horribly for his betrayal, using her pseudo-command-seal to make him quite literally suffer to death...

What do you mean, "pseudo-command spell"? And, why didn't she use it before? Command spells don't have range limits....

Also, what do you mean "orders him to suffer to death"? I presume you mean she uses the command spell to cause him to die horribly, but I'm not entirely sure command spells quite work like that (I don't think you could use one to order a servant to grow an arm back, for example). I guess it could overload his circuits or something, but other than that I'm not sure what it means.
She didn't bother with the order before-hand because she just didn't give any fucks about a useless Servant... until she found out that he outright betrayed her at which point she got really, really pissed.

I would consider the command to "Suffer" to be a legitimate use of a command seal. And if a command seal can rip open space-time to teleport someone, it can probably make them suffer to death.

Quote
Quote
and OCdoriol doesn't want to die, he wants to get away… it's all he can think about at those last moments-... and the Grail, twisted as it is, grants his wish. It renders him unable to truly die, but sends him cascading through the kaleidoscope.

How does he get to make a wish? Is this like what happened with Avenger? If so, then I think Avenger is different because his very essence is the "wish" to be All the Evil of the World, so that wish survives even when his consciousness is destroyed.
Same basic premise, yes. Best I could come up with.

Quote
Quote
A priest that Saito runs across offers to exorcise him of the ‘evil spirit’ following him along and Saito goes along with it, Sasaki realizes that this means he’s going to be kicked out and has a brief panic attack trying to convince Saito not to! But he’s still kicked out.

Why does he go along with it? He admitted that the spirit wasn't a bad influence, and now he knows he's real I don't see the problem, really.

I see you've explained that he felt bad later on, but it still seems odd that he went through with it in the first place.
He didn't make the connection, it was just a straight up derp moment.

Quote
Quote
Sasaki helps Saito hold off the army, not seeing any way to avoid this. Sasaki works with Derflinger to get Saito as far away from the battlefield as possible after holding the army. Sasaki remembers that the half-elf can and will find him and heal him up… but Sasaki doubts he’ll be there. So he does his best to comfort the younger man, telling him he’s proud of what Saito’s

accomplished, which brings a small smile to Saito’s face…

Sasaki even actually believes it some.

What causes him to disappear here? Nothing seems to have killed him.
Saito, his host, was killed, he loses his anchor to the world and fades.

But others have pointed out numerous holes in my concepts for Familiar of Zero, so I'm probably going to ditch that universe. It doesn't add enough for the difficulties I'd likely have trying to write it.

Quote
Quote
Spoiler for Servant Stats:
Name: Sasaki?
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Saber (Wtf?)
Master: Emiya Shirou
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 145 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His deep-set eyes and underbite being his only real distinguishing traits he possesses
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E
Agility: E
Endurance: E
Mana: E
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: B

He doesn't seem to have either Magic Resistance or Riding here. As a Saber-class servant he should possess both, they're class skills. Even if it is fairly weak he would still have it.
Bleh. Right. Class skills. Forgot to include those.

I thought only Magic Resistance was technically a class skill for Sabers though? With Riding being common but not required.


Quote
Quote
Sakura is utterly stunned that her sempai and sister have come to save her and still care for her even after learning how ‘filthy’ she is. Rin tries to play off her concerns, but Sasaki confides (not so quietly) to Sakura that Rin is just putting up a front and is really worried and happy that Sakura is safe. Cue very unhappy Rin.

I'm not sure how much Rin would play down her concerns in this case. It's kind-of difficult for her to do so once she's made the decision to go rescue her, and Sakura needs the support. It still seems somewhat amusing, though.
First reflex was the assumption. But yeah, mostly for lulz.

Quote
Quote
After blowing up the Star Forge he runs into the galaxy with his few companions and hides. Slowly, years pass with them constantly on the run. If he could just settle in and hide he could do so, but he's unable to just stand by whenever he sees cruelty or things he can fix, so he occasionally pops up on the radar and the Republic follows.

Why is the Republic (especially the Jedi) after him? The Star Forge is gone, and he clearly had good reason for blowing it up....
He held the station and denied their demands for a month or two before that, and they consider him (as Revan) a threat to the Republic all over again. It was outright a bad decision.

Quote
Quote
Over nearly four years, Sasaki develops his armor as well as his lightsaber. His lightsaber is unusual in that he normally uses it as a single, but it’s truly a double that can split into two. One blade is longer and green while the other is short and a constant cascade of different colors. The short blade is mostly meant as a surprise weapon, and it’s color (rainbow) was something he did in memory of his girlfriend in his home reality who wanted one… it’s a reminder to himself that he’s not of this world and that he also has a home elsewhere.

Is a Rainbow coloured lightsaber really canonically possible? It seems unlikely to me, given the basic mechanics behind them.
Probably not. But MAGIC, also, he's determined to make it. He needs some connection to his past to carry around with him. And also a gut-punch to the reader when they realize that he doesn't remember why he made it such a silly, yet beautiful color... only that it was important to him.

And by 'rainbow' I mean 'constantly changing colors' rather than just a constant set of colors.

Quote
Aaaand double post because of character limits:

Hmm, sorry about that.

I raised it slightly, but it seems like the forum software limits the post size to 65535 characters, so I can't make it any higher....
Not complaining, I just dislike doing double posts.

Quote
Quote
Creating a Crystal Ball, he scries the master of assassin before they summon, a very average mangus with only a few circuits but a massive determination to reach the Root… Sasaki offers him a chance, give up his arm and command seals or die. Between Force persuasion (which the mangus doesn’t recognize as magic and resist) and Sasaki’s status as a Servant, he convinces

the prospective master to give up his arm, which is a lot less painful for him with his cooperation.

This seems like a bit of a dick move, given that the guy doesn't really seem very bad. Also, if they guy hasn't summoned a servant yet then he doesn't have command spells. All he has is a mark that says he's allowed to summon a servant, which I don't think is transferable (and, further, I believe there are more than 7 such marks, at least in principle).
Already got called on that, my bad.

Quote
Quote
He studies the command seal bruise on the arm for a bit before figuring out how to use Sith Alchemy to transfer it to Kuzuki and have the teacher summong. Some tense negotiations ensue between Hassan and Sasaki, but Sasaki is able to convince Hassan that he’s telling the truth about how fubar the situation is and how badly he needs help.

Why would Hassan care?  He's canonically Lawful Evil, he might do it because he's told to but he won't do it out of any desire to help.
I thought it depended on the Hassan. They're religious zealots, but they're religious. That was the original thought though, if he can't get command seals though, it probably wouldn't work.

Quote
Quote
Sasaki meets with Rin as she comes out of school, Blood Fort Andromeda has been set up. Rin automatically assumes that ‘Caster’ is the source of the effect, but he denies it as he tries to crack the magic put into it. Doubting she’ll listen to him now, he only points out that her sister has been suffering, thinking that she doesn’t care about her, ‘idly’ noting the horrors she has to withstand. Rin almost has Archer attack him for this (wounded by Saber or not), but thinks better of attacking a Servant at full strength with a partial strength one and heads off to investigate his claim.

Not two days later, the Matou mansion is reduced to rubble.

Hmm, how does he convince Rin to believe him? Enough to check it out, I mean.

Also, with Rider still around, how does Rin free Sakura and demolish the mansion so easily? I mean, in HF she works out something is wrong, but she doesn't just demolish the house (admittedly, at that point Sakura is living with Shirou).
He demonstrates surprising knowledge of what's going on and gives a rather vivid description of what she's suffered under the hands of Zouken. It's enough for Rin to check it out.

Quote
Quote
Sasaki creates a new ability using Alteration, Reinforcement, and the Force creatively to create gemstones and gold from the particulates in the air or water

What? How?

There are not many gold particles in the air....

I guess gemstones might have slightly more chance of success, since diamonds are made of carbon, but even then there isn't that much Carbon Dioxide in the air, and you still need to alter it a hell of a lot.
Patience mostly. Gold would mostly be from water or soil where he just casts a net, but the real money-maker would be diamonds. And yeah, it does take a lot, but a single nights work could make them upwards of 500 gp in one sizable diamond, which off the top of my head conversion rate is tens of thousands of dollars.

Quote
Quote
Then they get kidnapped.

How? They seem pretty damn powerful to me. Also, why?

Quote
They eventually break out, and once they’re out of a life or death situation, Sasaki has a breakdown. He was barely able to keep them from casting spells once they got out and thus getting locked up with their captor.

What? Keep who from casting spells?

This whole paragraph doesn't make sense....

Quote
They ally with the Thieves Guild to get to the prison where he’s held and gather up a sum of money to make it happen. They perform increasingly epic feats and quests to do so, gathering more allies as they go. Sasaki creates several extradimensional holding bags to carry more equipment, particularly a belt for his blades

It's not clear here whether they kill the guy or not. Also, how did the guy end up in prison? And, if he is, then why do they need to kill him?
Sorry, I skimmed over a lot of the stuff here. The guy that kidnaps them is Irenicus, an absurdly[/b] powerful sorcerer that is legitimately on the level of Medea. He wants to use the protagonists divine soul to regain his own so he can have his revenge. He kidnaps them relatively easy since he's over twice their already moderately high level. Casting spells in the city he transported them to (at least in the open) gets you arressted by the magic police. Sasaki kept his own teammates from doing it (which in canon, got one of them captured as well).

And Irenicus breaks out of the magical prison and converts it into his own new laboratory. That's why they need to go after him.

Seriously, while the team is actually pretty powerful, this guy outclasses them heavily. He is easily Servant-tier, the only question is how high/low he is by Servant standards.

And again, sorry, I glossed over a lot of plot here (partially because in canon a lot of his motives/reasons aren't explained for most of the game). That's my bad. The games (Baldur's Gate) are really good and I recommend playing them, they recently got an Enhanced edition remake which is good.

Cherry Lover

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #37 on: March 24, 2014, 05:34:52 PM »
Hmm, interesting.

It's nice to see that he seems to have found a way to free Sakura from Zouken's grasp, although he seems not to have thought of it in the Fourth Swing. I like the whole "using dark side powers for good" aspect.
He did what he could in the Fourth Swing, he was limited by his lack of connection to Rin or his lack of ability to convince her that yes, he really was telling the truth.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense, although I think it would end rather badly for them....

Quote
Quote
I have quite a few comments to make. You didn't take account of the stuff I said before about the lightsaber blocking. Having no mass does not mean it cannot exert a force. Oh, and is there a reason why his Noble Phantasm stat is listed as B when the lightsaber is rank A? That doesn't make sense....
I disagree on the lightsaber blocking. Blocking with it is like blocking with a rapier, it can technically work, but it's not a good idea.

The problem is that you're applying concepts that work with ordinary metal weapons to something that is not an ordinary metal weapon.

Yes, a rapier can't block, but that is because it is not rigid or strong enough. If you try to block with it, it will either bend out of the way or snap. If you made a rapier of a lightweight but very strong and rigid material, then it could block a sword, because when the sword impacted it, it would stand firm. If you don't believe me, take a heavy but blunt item and swing it at a light metal cable that is pulled tight....

The mass of the sword only matters when you're attacking. A lightweight sword doesn't exert much force for a given velocity and, thus, cannot easily push back the opponent when you strike them with it (the maximum velocity of the swing is limited by the speed your arm can move at). But, when you're blocking or just pushing back at the opponent (and, thus, the swords are not moving very fast), the mass of your sword means very little as long as it remains rigid and does not break or bend, because the force exerted on it is the same as it would be on a larger sword, and what matters is the ability of the wielder to withstand that amount of force being transmitted into their arms.

Quote
And the NP being B is my bad, I've always been confused by how that's calculated.

Ah, OK, fair enough.

Quote
Quote
Also, is there a reason you've removed Familiar of Zero and replaced it with Rosario + Vampire for the Fourth Swing?
Yes. In the current system, he only has a limited number of universes per Swing, but once he completes one, it's swapped out for a new one.

Ah, OK, so you're avoiding making it absurdly long now? That makes more sense.

Quote
Quote
it's not much later that Caster kills him horribly for his betrayal, using her pseudo-command-seal to make him quite literally suffer to death...

What do you mean, "pseudo-command spell"? And, why didn't she use it before? Command spells don't have range limits....

Also, what do you mean "orders him to suffer to death"? I presume you mean she uses the command spell to cause him to die horribly, but I'm not entirely sure command spells quite work like that (I don't think you could use one to order a servant to grow an arm back, for example). I guess it could overload his circuits or something, but other than that I'm not sure what it means.
She didn't bother with the order before-hand because she just didn't give any fucks about a useless Servant... until she found out that he outright betrayed her at which point she got really, really pissed.

What do you mean "outright betrayed her"? I don't see what made her suddenly decide that he deserved that treatment, whereas before she didn't care....

Quote
I would consider the command to "Suffer" to be a legitimate use of a command seal. And if a command seal can rip open space-time to teleport someone, it can probably make them suffer to death.

Well, I'm not 100% sure. It seems like command spells have limited physical effects, especially without the consent of the servant. They seem to work more on a mental level.

Quote
Quote
Quote
and OCdoriol doesn't want to die, he wants to get away… it's all he can think about at those last moments-... and the Grail, twisted as it is, grants his wish. It renders him unable to truly die, but sends him cascading through the kaleidoscope.

How does he get to make a wish? Is this like what happened with Avenger? If so, then I think Avenger is different because his very essence is the "wish" to be All the Evil of the World, so that wish survives even when his consciousness is destroyed.
Same basic premise, yes. Best I could come up with.

If that worked, though, then every servant would get their wish granted when they died, which would mean that dying would not be any problem for them whatsoever. I don't see how him getting a wish granted on death would be any different from it happening to Saber, Rider or anyone else....

Quote
But others have pointed out numerous holes in my concepts for Familiar of Zero, so I'm probably going to ditch that universe. It doesn't add enough for the difficulties I'd likely have trying to write it.

Ah, OK, fair enough.

Quote
Bleh. Right. Class skills. Forgot to include those.

I thought only Magic Resistance was technically a class skill for Sabers though? With Riding being common but not required.

No, Riding is a class skill too. It's not their primary one like it is for a Rider-class servant, but it's a skill the class container gives them, so it's one he should possess.

Quote
Quote
Quote
Sakura is utterly stunned that her sempai and sister have come to save her and still care for her even after learning how ‘filthy’ she is. Rin tries to play off her concerns, but Sasaki confides (not so quietly) to Sakura that Rin is just putting up a front and is really worried and happy that Sakura is safe. Cue very unhappy Rin.

I'm not sure how much Rin would play down her concerns in this case. It's kind-of difficult for her to do so once she's made the decision to go rescue her, and Sakura needs the support. It still seems somewhat amusing, though.
First reflex was the assumption. But yeah, mostly for lulz.

Well, it's possible Rin would resort to that to some extent, but it seems way too uncaring, especially after what she's heard about Sakura's past and the fact that she resents her for not caring. Rin might want to act like a cold, uncaring magus, but in this case it would genuinely hurt Sakura (and she would know that), and the fact that she chose to rescue her at all means she's already made the decision that Sakura does matter to her (unlike at the end of HF, when she's still trying to convince herself she doesn't care).

So, no, I don't think Rin would do that, as funny as it would be. She's already decided that Sakura is important to her and needs to be protected, so I don't think she'd want to do anything that would cause her harm.

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Over nearly four years, Sasaki develops his armor as well as his lightsaber. His lightsaber is unusual in that he normally uses it as a single, but it’s truly a double that can split into two. One blade is longer and green while the other is short and a constant cascade of different colors. The short blade is mostly meant as a surprise weapon, and it’s color (rainbow) was something he did in memory of his girlfriend in his home reality who wanted one… it’s a reminder to himself that he’s not of this world and that he also has a home elsewhere.

Is a Rainbow coloured lightsaber really canonically possible? It seems unlikely to me, given the basic mechanics behind them.
Probably not. But MAGIC, also, he's determined to make it. He needs some connection to his past to carry around with him. And also a gut-punch to the reader when they realize that he doesn't remember why he made it such a silly, yet beautiful color... only that it was important to him.

And by 'rainbow' I mean 'constantly changing colors' rather than just a constant set of colors.

Based on what you've said about how lightsabers work, and what I know of Star Wars canon, it shouldn't be possible.

I guess constantly-changing is more plausible than multiple colours at once, but it still seems unlikely to me.

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He studies the command seal bruise on the arm for a bit before figuring out how to use Sith Alchemy to transfer it to Kuzuki and have the teacher summong. Some tense negotiations ensue between Hassan and Sasaki, but Sasaki is able to convince Hassan that he’s telling the truth about how fubar the situation is and how badly he needs help.

Why would Hassan care?  He's canonically Lawful Evil, he might do it because he's told to but he won't do it out of any desire to help.
I thought it depended on the Hassan. They're religious zealots, but they're religious.

Well, the two Hassans shown in canon are Lawful Evil, and in general I think being an Assassin does imply that alignment. Their job is to kill people, after all, and they don't generally care too much about whether the person deserves to die....

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That was the original thought though, if he can't get command seals though, it probably wouldn't work.

Yeah, I don't think stealing the precursor would work. Stealing an existing servant and command spells for one, yeah, but I don't think the precursors are transferable in that way.

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Sasaki meets with Rin as she comes out of school, Blood Fort Andromeda has been set up. Rin automatically assumes that ‘Caster’ is the source of the effect, but he denies it as he tries to crack the magic put into it. Doubting she’ll listen to him now, he only points out that her sister has been suffering, thinking that she doesn’t care about her, ‘idly’ noting the horrors she has to withstand. Rin almost has Archer attack him for this (wounded by Saber or not), but thinks better of attacking a Servant at full strength with a partial strength one and heads off to investigate his claim.

Not two days later, the Matou mansion is reduced to rubble.

Hmm, how does he convince Rin to believe him? Enough to check it out, I mean.

Also, with Rider still around, how does Rin free Sakura and demolish the mansion so easily? I mean, in HF she works out something is wrong, but she doesn't just demolish the house (admittedly, at that point Sakura is living with Shirou).
He demonstrates surprising knowledge of what's going on and gives a rather vivid description of what she's suffered under the hands of Zouken. It's enough for Rin to check it out.

Yeah, that makes sense.

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Sasaki creates a new ability using Alteration, Reinforcement, and the Force creatively to create gemstones and gold from the particulates in the air or water

What? How?

There are not many gold particles in the air....

I guess gemstones might have slightly more chance of success, since diamonds are made of carbon, but even then there isn't that much Carbon Dioxide in the air, and you still need to alter it a hell of a lot.
Patience mostly. Gold would mostly be from water or soil where he just casts a net, but the real money-maker would be diamonds. And yeah, it does take a lot, but a single nights work could make them upwards of 500 gp in one sizable diamond, which off the top of my head conversion rate is tens of thousands of dollars.

There aren't many gold particles in the soil either. If there were then companies would be extracting it....

Diamonds are a bit more plausible, but it still seems like something that should be very difficult to achieve, and probably well beyond his limited capacities.

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Casting spells in the city he transported them to (at least in the open) gets you arressted by the magic police. Sasaki kept his own teammates from doing it (which in canon, got one of them captured as well).

Ah, OK, I see.

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And Irenicus breaks out of the magical prison and converts it into his own new laboratory. That's why they need to go after him.

Ah, right.

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And again, sorry, I glossed over a lot of plot here (partially because in canon a lot of his motives/reasons aren't explained for most of the game). That's my bad. The games (Baldur's Gate) are really good and I recommend playing them, they recently got an Enhanced edition remake which is good.

Right, I see.

Also, you seem to be getting your bold and italic BB codes mixed up, so that your posts have superfluous [/b]'s and the like lying around. It's because you're writing [i][b][/i][/b] rather than [i][b][/b][/i], I think.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2014, 05:38:03 PM by Cherry Lover »

Andoriol

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #38 on: March 24, 2014, 06:15:35 PM »
Yeah, I guess that makes sense, although I think it would end rather badly for them....
Yes, yes it would.

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The problem is that you're applying concepts that work with ordinary metal weapons to something that is not an ordinary metal weapon.

Yes, a rapier can't block, but that is because it is not rigid or strong enough. If you try to block with it, it will either bend out of the way or snap. If you made a rapier of a lightweight but very strong and rigid material, then it could block a sword, because when the sword impacted it, it would stand firm. If you don't believe me, take a heavy but blunt item and swing it at a light metal cable that is pulled tight....

The mass of the sword only matters when you're attacking. A lightweight sword doesn't exert much force for a given velocity and, thus, cannot easily push back the opponent when you strike them with it (the maximum velocity of the swing is limited by the speed your arm can move at). But, when you're blocking or just pushing back at the opponent (and, thus, the swords are not moving very fast), the mass of your sword means very little as long as it remains rigid and does not break or bend, because the force exerted on it is the same as it would be on a larger sword, and what matters is the ability of the wielder to withstand that amount of force being transmitted into their arms.
I'm not referring to when holding a block (in which case I totally concede, I didn't think of that initially) but in stopping the initial blow (in which case the enemies blow is going fast), where a greater mass of one's own blade  makes it easier to block due to simple inertia. And with all of the mass quite literally in the handle, the comparative force one can exert with a lightsaber is relatively little. The wielder applies force far closer to the fulcrum of the lever (and thus, less total force) compared to an equal length weapon with the center of mass several inches above the handle (as per normal for a physical sword). So unless the user can block the blow very close to their hands, it'd generally be a bad idea, at least compared to performing the same move with a physical weapon.

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Also, is there a reason you've removed Familiar of Zero and replaced it with Rosario + Vampire for the Fourth Swing?
Yes. In the current system, he only has a limited number of universes per Swing, but once he completes one, it's swapped out for a new one.

Ah, OK, so you're avoiding making it absurdly long now? That makes more sense.
The story as a whole is still very long, but each Swing is a bit more bite-sized, and I don't have to justify OCdoriol just disappearing for no reason.

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She didn't bother with the order before-hand because she just didn't give any fucks about a useless Servant... until she found out that he outright betrayed her at which point she got really, really pissed.

What do you mean "outright betrayed her"? I don't see what made her suddenly decide that he deserved that treatment, whereas before she didn't care....
Before he was a runaway piece of trash. Not a concern for her. He knew nothing about her operations (to her knowledge) other than her existence and would likely be killed by another Master/Servant.

But I would really think Medea would really dislike betrayal and would make him suffer for it, Command Seal or not.

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I would consider the command to "Suffer" to be a legitimate use of a command seal. And if a command seal can rip open space-time to teleport someone, it can probably make them suffer to death.

Well, I'm not 100% sure. It seems like command spells have limited physical effects, especially without the consent of the servant. They seem to work more on a mental level.
Wasn't there a usage of 3 Command Seals to incarnate a Servant fully at one point?

And even if we go by your interpretation, it would still work. Pain is mental, and pain receptors firing nontstop until you die either from overload or from starvation/dehydration seems completely legit to me.

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How does he get to make a wish? Is this like what happened with Avenger? If so, then I think Avenger is different because his very essence is the "wish" to be All the Evil of the World, so that wish survives even when his consciousness is destroyed.
Same basic premise, yes. Best I could come up with.

If that worked, though, then every servant would get their wish granted when they died, which would mean that dying would not be any problem for them whatsoever. I don't see how him getting a wish granted on death would be any different from it happening to Saber, Rider or anyone else....
Nnno? Avengers case supposedly worked because he was so weak that the grail considered him human, not just because he had a wish. OCdoriol is human, not 'like' a human, he just outright is one.

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No, Riding is a class skill too. It's not their primary one like it is for a Rider-class servant, but it's a skill the class container gives them, so it's one he should possess.
Huh. The more you knowwwwwww.

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Well, it's possible Rin would resort to that to some extent, but it seems way too uncaring, especially after what she's heard about Sakura's past and the fact that she resents her for not caring. Rin might want to act like a cold, uncaring magus, but in this case it would genuinely hurt Sakura (and she would know that), and the fact that she chose to rescue her at all means she's already made the decision that Sakura does matter to her (unlike at the end of HF, when she's still trying to convince herself she doesn't care).

So, no, I don't think Rin would do that, as funny as it would be. She's already decided that Sakura is important to her and needs to be protected, so I don't think she'd want to do anything that would cause her harm.
Fair 'nuff. I'll adjust that then.

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Probably not. But MAGIC, also, he's determined to make it. He needs some connection to his past to carry around with him. And also a gut-punch to the reader when they realize that he doesn't remember why he made it such a silly, yet beautiful color... only that it was important to him.

And by 'rainbow' I mean 'constantly changing colors' rather than just a constant set of colors.

Based on what you've said about how lightsabers work, and what I know of Star Wars canon, it shouldn't be possible.

I guess constantly-changing is more plausible than multiple colours at once, but it still seems unlikely to me.
It really depends on how a lightsaber's color is actually implemented in physics. Since it's determined by the focusing crystal's color, it's likely that the light/plasma created is filtered into that color like a laser does. A multicolored crystal (one basic structure with varying impurities or one that simply is a different color depending on how light refracts through it) would likely give it similar properties provided it could be used as a lightsaber crystal (unlikely, but I'd explicitly toss that bit out for the sake of the fic).

In the former case, a spinning crystal would create the multicolored blade provided the crystal was spinning, but the blade would be noticably weaker in clashes with others due to not being a uniform wavelength. Not that OCdoriol would care since the shoto portion of the blade isn't meant to clash with other sabers, just stab people or surprise them.

In the latter, it could easily be fudged that while the blade is technically white, depending on the angle the blade is looked at it can appear any color, meaning when held still it appears as a single color but as it's swung it changes colors rapidly.

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Well, the two Hassans shown in canon are Lawful Evil, and in general I think being an Assassin does imply that alignment. Their job is to kill people, after all, and they don't generally care too much about whether the person deserves to die....
Truth.

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That was the original thought though, if he can't get command seals though, it probably wouldn't work.

Yeah, I don't think stealing the precursor would work. Stealing an existing servant and command spells for one, yeah, but I don't think the precursors are transferable in that way.
That's what Caster supposedly did, but that's CASTER, and OCdoriol is nowhere near that level (at this point), so no, it wouldn't work.

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There aren't many gold particles in the soil either. If there were then companies would be extracting it....

Diamonds are a bit more plausible, but it still seems like something that should be very difficult to achieve, and probably well beyond his limited capacities.
I disagree (on the latter, not the former). You're right that it wouldn't be worth it to try and get gold from the soil/water, really should've thought of that. There's more than you'd probably think, it's just stupid hard to get it out and not worth the effort for companies.

But diamonds should be within his ability to create, especially if he has a seed diamond to build upon and uses something like charcoal or ashes as the source of carbon. Again, it's a combination of the Force, Alteration, and Reinforcement, without any one piece it wouldn't be possible for him.

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Also, you seem to be getting your bold and italic BB codes mixed up, so that your posts have superfluous [/b]'s and the like lying around. It's because you're writing [i][b][/i][/b] rather than [i][b][/b][/i], I think.
I don't make that mistake when I'm typing it up (taken a bit too much coding to forget to close my tags properly XD), and when I go back to check it out, things with increased size appear to automatically close tags at the end of the line. It's rather weird and I don't know why it'd do that.

Cherry Lover

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #39 on: March 24, 2014, 06:47:22 PM »
]The problem is that you're applying concepts that work with ordinary metal weapons to something that is not an ordinary metal weapon.

Yes, a rapier can't block, but that is because it is not rigid or strong enough. If you try to block with it, it will either bend out of the way or snap. If you made a rapier of a lightweight but very strong and rigid material, then it could block a sword, because when the sword impacted it, it would stand firm. If you don't believe me, take a heavy but blunt item and swing it at a light metal cable that is pulled tight....

The mass of the sword only matters when you're attacking. A lightweight sword doesn't exert much force for a given velocity and, thus, cannot easily push back the opponent when you strike them with it (the maximum velocity of the swing is limited by the speed your arm can move at). But, when you're blocking or just pushing back at the opponent (and, thus, the swords are not moving very fast), the mass of your sword means very little as long as it remains rigid and does not break or bend, because the force exerted on it is the same as it would be on a larger sword, and what matters is the ability of the wielder to withstand that amount of force being transmitted into their arms.
I'm not referring to when holding a block (in which case I totally concede, I didn't think of that initially) but in stopping the initial blow (in which case the enemies blow is going fast), where a greater mass of one's own blade  makes it easier to block due to simple inertia. And with all of the mass quite literally in the handle, the comparative force one can exert with a lightsaber is relatively little. The wielder applies force far closer to the fulcrum of the lever (and thus, less total force) compared to an equal length weapon with the center of mass several inches above the handle (as per normal for a physical sword). So unless the user can block the blow very close to their hands, it'd generally be a bad idea, at least compared to performing the same move with a physical weapon.

Again, no, that is just plain wrong. The mass of your weapon has no relevance in whether you can block with it, the force transmitted into your hands depends only on the mass of the attackers weapon (and where on the blade they hit), and the force transmitted into your hands is the deciding factor in whether you can block, assuming the lightsaber does not break or bend.

So, the only difference between blocking with a normal metal weapon and blocking with a lightsaber is in whether or not they would break or bend, and I don't think a lightsaber is going to break easily. If the object attacking cannot bend or break the beam then it gets blocked, full stop.

If you think that is untrue, then explain to me what you think would happen when a normal weapon was swung at a lightsaber blade, with the assumption that neither of them will bend or break (because the ability of the blade to not break does not directly depend on mass).

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Also, is there a reason you've removed Familiar of Zero and replaced it with Rosario + Vampire for the Fourth Swing?
Yes. In the current system, he only has a limited number of universes per Swing, but once he completes one, it's swapped out for a new one.

Ah, OK, so you're avoiding making it absurdly long now? That makes more sense.
The story as a whole is still very long, but each Swing is a bit more bite-sized, and I don't have to justify OCdoriol just disappearing for no reason. [/quote]

Yeah, it makes sense.

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She didn't bother with the order before-hand because she just didn't give any fucks about a useless Servant... until she found out that he outright betrayed her at which point she got really, really pissed.

What do you mean "outright betrayed her"? I don't see what made her suddenly decide that he deserved that treatment, whereas before she didn't care....
Before he was a runaway piece of trash. Not a concern for her. He knew nothing about her operations (to her knowledge) other than her existence and would likely be killed by another Master/Servant.

But I would really think Medea would really dislike betrayal and would make him suffer for it, Command Seal or not.

I dunno, Medea seems to basically assume betrayal as a default state, so I'm not sure she'd be too upset when it actually happened. She would probably kill him as a threat, I'm not sure she'd go out of her way to make him suffer.

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I would consider the command to "Suffer" to be a legitimate use of a command seal. And if a command seal can rip open space-time to teleport someone, it can probably make them suffer to death.

Well, I'm not 100% sure. It seems like command spells have limited physical effects, especially without the consent of the servant. They seem to work more on a mental level.
Wasn't there a usage of 3 Command Seals to incarnate a Servant fully at one point?

And even if we go by your interpretation, it would still work. Pain is mental, and pain receptors firing nontstop until you die either from overload or from starvation/dehydration seems completely legit to me.

Well, yeah, perhaps....

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How does he get to make a wish? Is this like what happened with Avenger? If so, then I think Avenger is different because his very essence is the "wish" to be All the Evil of the World, so that wish survives even when his consciousness is destroyed.
Same basic premise, yes. Best I could come up with.

If that worked, though, then every servant would get their wish granted when they died, which would mean that dying would not be any problem for them whatsoever. I don't see how him getting a wish granted on death would be any different from it happening to Saber, Rider or anyone else....
Nnno? Avengers case supposedly worked because he was so weak that the grail considered him human, not just because he had a wish. OCdoriol is human, not 'like' a human, he just outright is one.

What? Where are you getting that from?

Avenger's "wish" was granted because it was an innate part of his soul, not because he was weak.

There is no reason a servant cannot make a wish in principle, but since a servant that is killed and absorbed into the Grail loses its consciousness before it gets there, usually it cannot. Avenger, however, was an incarnation of the desire to be evil, so even when his consciousness was gone that desire remained. Therefore, the Grail latched onto it and granted him his wish.

Admittedly, there is a thing in HA with the Grail granting Bazett a wish when she's dying, and I'm not sure how exactly that is supposed to have worked. It can't be as simple as "anyone who is dying gets a wish", though, or they would all just do that.

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Probably not. But MAGIC, also, he's determined to make it. He needs some connection to his past to carry around with him. And also a gut-punch to the reader when they realize that he doesn't remember why he made it such a silly, yet beautiful color... only that it was important to him.

And by 'rainbow' I mean 'constantly changing colors' rather than just a constant set of colors.

Based on what you've said about how lightsabers work, and what I know of Star Wars canon, it shouldn't be possible.

I guess constantly-changing is more plausible than multiple colours at once, but it still seems unlikely to me.
It really depends on how a lightsaber's color is actually implemented in physics. Since it's determined by the focusing crystal's color, it's likely that the light/plasma created is filtered into that color like a laser does. A multicolored crystal (one basic structure with varying impurities or one that simply is a different color depending on how light refracts through it) would likely give it similar properties provided it could be used as a lightsaber crystal (unlikely, but I'd explicitly toss that bit out for the sake of the fic).

In the former case, a spinning crystal would create the multicolored blade provided the crystal was spinning, but the blade would be noticably weaker in clashes with others due to not being a uniform wavelength. Not that OCdoriol would care since the shoto portion of the blade isn't meant to clash with other sabers, just stab people or surprise them.

In the latter, it could easily be fudged that while the blade is technically white, depending on the angle the blade is looked at it can appear any color, meaning when held still it appears as a single color but as it's swung it changes colors rapidly.

Hmm, yeah, I guess the former seems vaguely plausible, at least.

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That was the original thought though, if he can't get command seals though, it probably wouldn't work.

Yeah, I don't think stealing the precursor would work. Stealing an existing servant and command spells for one, yeah, but I don't think the precursors are transferable in that way.
That's what Caster supposedly did, but that's CASTER, and OCdoriol is nowhere near that level (at this point), so no, it wouldn't work.

Hmm, true, so it is theoretically possible at least.

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There aren't many gold particles in the soil either. If there were then companies would be extracting it....

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Diamonds are a bit more plausible, but it still seems like something that should be very difficult to achieve, and probably well beyond his limited capacities.
I disagree (on the latter, not the former). You're right that it wouldn't be worth it to try and get gold from the soil/water, really should've thought of that. There's more than you'd probably think, it's just stupid hard to get it out and not worth the effort for companies.

But diamonds should be within his ability to create, especially if he has a seed diamond to build upon and uses something like charcoal or ashes as the source of carbon. Again, it's a combination of the Force, Alteration, and Reinforcement, without any one piece it wouldn't be possible for him.

Well, I'm assuming that creating gemstones is non-trivial, since Rin doesn't do it, but I guess it is theoretically possible at least. Alteration and Reinforcement are pretty weak in general, though....
« Last Edit: March 24, 2014, 06:48:42 PM by Cherry Lover »

Andoriol

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #40 on: March 24, 2014, 07:26:19 PM »
Again, no, that is just plain wrong. The mass of your weapon has no relevance in whether you can block with it, the force transmitted into your hands depends only on the mass of the attackers weapon (and where on the blade they hit), and the force transmitted into your hands is the deciding factor in whether you can block, assuming the lightsaber does not break or bend.

So, the only difference between blocking with a normal metal weapon and blocking with a lightsaber is in whether or not they would break or bend, and I don't think a lightsaber is going to break easily. If the object attacking cannot bend or break the beam then it gets blocked, full stop.

If you think that is untrue, then explain to me what you think would happen when a normal weapon was swung at a lightsaber blade, with the assumption that neither of them will bend or break (because the ability of the blade to not break does not directly depend on mass).
I SHALL GO DOWN SWINGING (More seriously, I'm enjoying the debate, don't misunderstand me :) )

And from the way I'm understanding things:

The opponent swings their weapon.

The lightsaber is swung to intercept and apply force directly counter to that of the opponents'.

Assuming equal strength and handle sizes, the lightsaber is pushed back due to its comparative lack of momentum.

Provided that neither weapon breaks and that both survive the clash, the two equalize again without momentum assisting the physical weapon. However, the position of the opposing blade on the lightsaber's length is more important than would normally be the case with a physical blade as the center of mass is within the hilt.

The 'almost impossible to block with' was an exaggeration to be honest. But a lightsaber is a weapon of finesse and control compared to the relatively brute force power of physical swords.

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I dunno, Medea seems to basically assume betrayal as a default state, so I'm not sure she'd be too upset when it actually happened. She would probably kill him as a threat, I'm not sure she'd go out of her way to make him suffer.
Hm, I'll have to go back over my Caster scenes then, but we might just have different interpretations of the character.

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Well, yeah, perhaps....
If nothing else, she can cast magic at him to make him suffer/die very very dead. Doesn't need to be the command seal.

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What? Where are you getting that from?

Avenger's "wish" was granted because it was an innate part of his soul, not because he was weak.

There is no reason a servant cannot make a wish in principle, but since a servant that is killed and absorbed into the Grail loses its consciousness before it gets there, usually it cannot. Avenger, however, was an incarnation of the desire to be evil, so even when his consciousness was gone that desire remained. Therefore, the Grail latched onto it and granted him his wish.

Admittedly, there is a thing in HA with the Grail granting Bazett a wish when she's dying, and I'm not sure how exactly that is supposed to have worked. It can't be as simple as "anyone who is dying gets a wish", though, or they would all just do that.
Hm, I'm struggling to find where I saw that... I could be outright wrong here then. In which case I'm back in the pickle of how he goes on this whole adventure.

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Hmm, yeah, I guess the former seems vaguely plausible, at least.
I can techno/magi-babble with the best of them!

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Well, I'm assuming that creating gemstones is non-trivial, since Rin doesn't do it, but I guess it is theoretically possible at least. Alteration and Reinforcement are pretty weak in general, though....
It is non-trivial, but he's combining different disciplines and general effects together to achieve the effect. He's basically cheating. Using the Force to manipulate things on the molecular level, and a combination of arcane magic and thaumaturgy to achieve the necessary conditions to produce a diamond and thus make it easier.

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #41 on: March 24, 2014, 08:31:10 PM »
And from the way I'm understanding things:

The opponent swings their weapon.

The lightsaber is swung to intercept and apply force directly counter to that of the opponents'.

Assuming equal strength and handle sizes, the lightsaber is pushed back due to its comparative lack of momentum.

Provided that neither weapon breaks and that both survive the clash, the two equalize again without momentum assisting the physical weapon. However, the position of the opposing blade on the lightsaber's length is more important than would normally be the case with a physical blade as the center of mass is within the hilt.

Ah, OK. I was assuming that, by "blocking", you were considering a situation where the attacker was swinging the blade at you and you were just putting your blade in the way to stop it, not one where both fighters were swinging at each other.

I guess that, in that case, you're somewhat right, but it doesn't really matter, because a normal human can easily withstand the force of a sword being swung at them even if their sword is not moving. So, all that changes is that, instead of the initial blows cancelling out somewhat (I'm trying to think what the exact physics is here, because I'm having two contradictory thoughts depending on what I focus on), you have to use your arm strength to hold the weapon in place straight away. Which should be fine in pretty much all cases.

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The 'almost impossible to block with' was an exaggeration to be honest. But a lightsaber is a weapon of finesse and control compared to the relatively brute force power of physical swords.

Yeah, but you've got it the wrong way around. It's not impossible to block with it, it's impossible to use it to bludgeon your opponent into retreating like you could with a normal sword. For example, if Berserker swings his massive axe-sword at Saber, even if she tries to block it, the swing has so much momentum behind it she still gets pushed backwards. If, on the other hand, you were to give Berserker a lightsaber, then she would be able to block it without difficulty. However, if you switched it the other way around and had Saber doing the attacking, he could block the attack just as easily regardless of which weapon he was using.

It's possible it gives you some disadvantage, I need to think the physics through more carefully (I'm more of a theorist, and I'm a Cosmologist rather than a mechanics expert) but I think the mass of the opponent's weapon is more important when it comes to the ability to block than the mass of your own is.

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I dunno, Medea seems to basically assume betrayal as a default state, so I'm not sure she'd be too upset when it actually happened. She would probably kill him as a threat, I'm not sure she'd go out of her way to make him suffer.
Hm, I'll have to go back over my Caster scenes then, but we might just have different interpretations of the character.

Yeah, possibly, she's not someone I understand brilliantly.

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Well, yeah, perhaps....
If nothing else, she can cast magic at him to make him suffer/die very very dead. Doesn't need to be the command seal.

True.

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What? Where are you getting that from?

Avenger's "wish" was granted because it was an innate part of his soul, not because he was weak.

There is no reason a servant cannot make a wish in principle, but since a servant that is killed and absorbed into the Grail loses its consciousness before it gets there, usually it cannot. Avenger, however, was an incarnation of the desire to be evil, so even when his consciousness was gone that desire remained. Therefore, the Grail latched onto it and granted him his wish.

Admittedly, there is a thing in HA with the Grail granting Bazett a wish when she's dying, and I'm not sure how exactly that is supposed to have worked. It can't be as simple as "anyone who is dying gets a wish", though, or they would all just do that.
Hm, I'm struggling to find where I saw that... I could be outright wrong here then. In which case I'm back in the pickle of how he goes on this whole adventure.

Yeah....

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Well, I'm assuming that creating gemstones is non-trivial, since Rin doesn't do it, but I guess it is theoretically possible at least. Alteration and Reinforcement are pretty weak in general, though....
It is non-trivial, but he's combining different disciplines and general effects together to achieve the effect. He's basically cheating. Using the Force to manipulate things on the molecular level, and a combination of arcane magic and thaumaturgy to achieve the necessary conditions to produce a diamond and thus make it easier.

Fair enough, I guess.

Andoriol

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #42 on: March 25, 2014, 07:13:36 PM »
Alright, another revision, this time ditching Familiar of Zero. I think I actually like this one a bit better. Most of the changes were in the Third Swing KotOR and (obviously) the Xcom series swapping in. Since I never described the Xcom series, and in case people don't know, it's about humans in the very near future having to fight off an unknown, mysterious, and absurdly powerful alien species that's running terror attacks and generally being dicks. Following the Xcom initiative, the United Nations response who actively try to reverse engineer the enemies weapons and technology to increase their chances against an overwhelming foe.

First Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Statline:
Name: Jacob *****
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Assassin (False)
Master: Caster
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 140 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His deep-set eyes and underbite being his only real distinguishing traits he possesses
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: X
Agility: X
Endurance: X
Mana: N/A
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: X



Skills:[/b]
Incarnate: A+
Servants possessing this skill are not truly spirits or wraiths. Higher ranks representing a Servant closer to life and possessing a living body. This skill reduces the strain of maintaining the Servant, and higher ranks also allow the Servant to respire Prana on their own. However even a minimal rank in this Skill forbids a Servant from entering Astral Form. At this rank, Gaia acknowledges Assassin as a human and does not put pressure to remove him from the world; only death can remove the Servant from the world.

Kaleidoscopic Knowledge: D
Assassin possesses a breadth of knowledge in a large variety of subjects as well as knowledge from beyond this universe. He posseses knowledge about universes which were fictional in his home universe.

Exposure to the Kaleidoscope: E-
A rare skill, it represents the Servants nature from beyond this universe. Servants possessing this skill operate on their own laws of physics. Higher ranks in this skill mean that the Servant operates on more wildly different laws of physics.

Possessing this skill increases the pressure that Gaia places upon the Servant due to their greater status as an anomaly. Additionally, it is nearly always coupled with a level of Mental Pollution one rank lower than its own, representing a viewpoint distorted by the altered physics or the circumstances that caused them.

Assassin possesses this skill due to his exposure to the undiluted Kaleidoscope and his souls ability to “understand” laws of physics it is exposed to, allowing his internal reality to change based on the reality it is exposed to. His Mental Pollution is due to the damage and degradation his soul has gone through from its contact with 「 」  as well as the souls he has improperly consumed.

E – The Servant's laws of physics are only subtly different from that of Gaia's. In particular, Assassin comes from a universe where magic does not exist. Any magic attempting to affect his internal world fails.
D -
C – The Servant's laws of physics are noticeably different from others.
B -
A – Even those unattuned to magic can tell that the Servant is... different just by being in their presence. Gaia's pressure is nearly tripled but the Servants laws of physics are conceptually different, such as possessing a different concept of death.
EX -  Normal humans cannot stand the presence of the Servant, they are from a universe in which the laws of reality are simply incompatible with Gaia's own. Even viewing the Servant causes pain or mental distortion.


Noble Phantasms:
N/A
F/SN
Because of a broken and twisted Grail and Caster’s overwhelming power, a living being from the depths of the Kaleidoscope is pulled as a Servant, using the Second Magic rather than the Third, summoning OCdoriol as (False) Assassin. As he is still truly alive, he doesn't need prana from Caster, nor is he bound to the arch, so he hauls ass once he can and tries to get into contact with Rin or Shirou.

It's on the UBW route and he's able to get into contact with Shirou. It takes some convincing, but the group is at least willing to give him consideration. He tries to convince Archer that his plan won't work and that the group (and Sakura) needs him (Archer), but it's not much later that Caster kills him horribly for his betrayal, using her pseudo-command-seal to make him quite literally suffer to death... and OCdoriol doesn't want to die, he wants to get away… it's all he can think about at those last moments-... and the Grail, twisted as it is, grants his wish. It renders him unable to truly die, but sends him cascading through the kaleidoscope.





Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Replaces Revan’s artificial personality. He dies on Talos from a blaster bolt to the face that he didn’t dodge.





Baldur’s Gate
For the people who haven’t heard of it, which shame on you, it’s a revolutionary RPG:
Spoiler for Original Plot of Series:
The protagonist lives in a magical library called Candlekeep with their foster father Gorion (an old adventurer) and Imoen, their foster sister.

One day when they’re mostly grown, they’re taken from the Keep by Gorion in the middle of the night… only to be assaulted by a mountain of a man covered in heavy armor and with golden eyes and his cohorts. Gorion refuses to give the protagonist up and fights the massive man… but dies giving the protagonist a chance to escape.

They run to the place Gorion told them they were headed, their foster sister Imoen tagging along. They meet up with allies and struggle to solve the riddle of who killed Gorion and why they were looking for the protagonist. This leads them to solving the iron crisis of their homeland as well as to a revelation about the protagonist.

They, and the man that killed Gorion, are Bhaalspawn. They are children of the dead god Bhaal, the god of murder. Their half brother, Saerevok, is the leader of the nation and is deliberately setting up a war while making himself look good to create such a slaughter that he can ascend to become the next God of Murder, and he will kill all of the other Bhaalspawn in the process… including the Protagonist.

Finding these things out leads the group to fight Saerevok, which is fucking hard, because they have to discredit him first otherwise they’ll have an entire nation on their heads.

But they do, they take out a Demigod of Murder and minions (using another, lesser trained and weaker Demigod of Murder and friends).

Yay! Happy fun times! (Cue end of first game)

But several months after they’ve accomplished this, while relaxing and basking in the glow of being awesome, the group is kidnapped.

They were kidnapped by a powerful mage, Irenicus, who experiments on Imoen and the protagonist, killing several characters and torturing others. Because of an attack on Irenicus’ base, the protagonist is able to escape with what remains of their team as the place is nuked by magic… revealing that they were in a dungeon beneath a marketplace in a massive city. Irenicus basically blinks at the thieves that try to kill him and vaporizes them… is about to bring the group back in for more experiments… cue magic police.

Quite literally, the Cowled Wizards (magic police) come to apprehend the unauthorized magic users (magic without a license is forbidden in this city/country), Irenicus scoffs and vaporizes about seven of them while they do piddly damage to him. But they talk him into surrendering… provided they take along Imoen who had cast a spell at Irenicus as well. So they do! Note that we don’t find out wtf Irenicus was doing or why he wanted us at all.

The protagonist must then gather up a ridiculous sum of gold to pay for the chance at either revenge or saving their sister from Irenicus, since they’re both held at an epically hard to get to magic prison. This involves epic quests of epicness!

They have to help the Thieves Guild fight off their newfound (vampire) rival guild… or help the rival guild. Either way, they get to the magical prison… to find that Irenicus has taken over and been experimenting on Imoen as well as the other inmates. And pretty much instantly catches the protagonist again and literally rips their divine soul out. This leaves the evil taint of a dead, evil god of Murder still there to try and pull the rest of them down to hell and consume them from the inside out.

Cue a rushed escape from the asylum that only barely gets them free because the protagonist turned into the fucking Avatar of a Dead God to fight off the vampiric sister of Irenicus.

The group gets stuck in the Underdark, the extensive underground tunnels filled with tons of nasties of varying shapes and kinds. They fight their way out… and have to not much later fight the vampiric sister again to reclaim Imoen’s soul.

They find out that Irenicus is attacking the Elven Secret Capital City… and fuck if the group doesn’t need to go after him now to save the protagonist from falling to the taint within them.

Irenicus is trying to steal the full divinity/life force of all the elves everywhere to become a god. He was an elf, and a powerful one at that. But then he tried this kind of shit before-hand… and got banished and his elven heritage removed… and now he’s going to have his revenge!

Cue epic showdown with Irenicus and an entire army of badasses and a dragon… with a group of six or less people due to engine constraints.

Said battle with Irenicus ends up dragging the group to hell since Irenicus just flat out refuses to die or let go of the soul and the protagonist gaining power as they accept their nature more and pass tests in hell… and then kill Irenicus again in hell. And even that only barely works.

The group awakens later in the elven capital city as its saviors, with Irenicus finally dead.

Some months later, rumours start to surface of Bhaalspawn causing a war in the south, seeking out other Bhaalspawn to slaughter. The protagonist is kicked out of the elven city to avoid drawing the enemies.

The protagonist then gets drawn, magically, into an epic battle with several extremely powerful demigods (A fire giant demigod that cannot be killed without destroying his heart, a draconic demigod, an ancient elven spellcaster demigod, etc. etc.)

Oh, and then they have to fight the former high priestess of Bhaal who steals the rest of the divine spark of the god of murder and who is just short of being a god herself.

So yeah, a group of up to a max of six, five + protagonist, defeats the equivalent of a god, on her home turf.
Summoned by a Tsundere Elf Wizard protagonist as a Familiar.

He can’t communicate with anyone except his master empathically.

She’s irritated with him, though confused as well, but she does her best to take care of him since he’s just as confused as she is and obviously scared. She’s simply too much of a good guy to do otherwise. She gets him equipped with basic armor and a sword and taught basic not-dying skills, especially since he takes a portion of her power to maintain. He takes up using a shortbow as he’s a natural with it and it’s a way to help out without getting up close and personal with stabby things.

Sasaki and his master try to teach each other some basic language skills to make it easier to communicate. In doing this, Sasaki realizes he doesn’t have a name anymore, the only thing coming to mind being Kojirou Sasaki which he knows isn’t right… still, he has to give her something to call him other than Familiar, and goes with Sasaki.
 
A targeted Dispel Magic hits him and his master in the back of the fight and he dissipates.





Xcom: Enemy Within
He wakes up in a tube of gel on an alien ship that's landed, and is freed by the Xcom ground team as well as several others. While the other captives were gifted psionics, he himself is not... he struggles to give them a name, just going with Sasaki as he isn't willing to steal someone else's name completely.

Xcom is hesitant to let him go again just in case the aliens come for him again, and to be honest, 'Sasaki' doesn't really mind that much. He mostly just hangs out around the base, in awe of what he sees and generally trying to adjust to what's going on. He ends up helping out at both the engineering and science departments as best he can for lack of things to do.

He has to wonder… are the memories of his adventures so far just hallucenations from being kidnapped by the aliens…?

He starts to pick up tricks for engineering as well as expanding his already mediocre knowledge of engineering and physics.

Over the course of several months, he learns a lot and interacts with the various team members, but never goes onto the field himself. Then the aliens attack the main base directly and he's killed in the crossfire.



Second Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Statline:
N/A – Not meaningfully different from the previous one
F/SN[/b]
Summoned as (False) Assassin again, though this time with his leather armor, sword, shield, spear and bow. He avoids pissing off Caster as much as he initially did due to his shitty status since he at least has weapons of his own this time.

Still runs though, having an easier time of finding Shirou and Rin, though this time it seems like the Fate route instead. Shirou believes him easily, it’s Rin that’s hard to convince, not that ‘Sasaki’ is surprised by this. He begs for her to A). help hide him from Caster and B). Teach him magic as well. Anything he can learn to help him survive.

His magic circuits are activated (all 8 of the shit-tier circuits), though this quite literally lights him on fire which scars him. Staying in the Boundary field that Rin erects, he’s hidden enough from Caster that she doesn’t bother looking for him, acting as an info-dump for her to try and manipulate the war. ‘Sasaki’ has a fair amount of knowledge about the Fate and UBW routes, but only the most basic info on the HF route. But it’s enough that Rin ends up saving Sakura though Rider is killed in the process.

Caster arrives at the home while the team is away, intending to hold Taiga hostage to get Saber… and finding (False) Assassin… and once again ordering him to suffer to death for his betrayal.





SW: KotOR
Replaces Revan once more, this time he’s a lot more careful than he was last time and is able to clear the ‘Talos level’, escaping with Bastilla and the others, using his previous limited training in the sword combined with more advanced technology as well. That and he’s a natural with a blaster as he is with most ranged weapons.

He starts to show his talent for creating items with the ease of modifying and upgrading his equipment. Entirely with upgrade kits at this early point, but he learns quickly.

They escape to Dantooine and, as per canon, they train Sasaki in the ways of the Jedi over several months, which he picks up at an astounding speed. He realizes that he’s tapping into the residual knowledge of his host body. Something he is fascinated with is how to use the Force to create items, combining his decent knowledge of engineering with the training as well as Revan's residual knowledge to create his own basic lightsaber, surprising the Jedi Masters.

Moving on in the quest to find the Star Maps and, through them, the source of the enemies power.

He lacks the innate charisma that Revan truly possessed, but Sasaki is easy to like. He’s nice, honest, and concerned about people. Only Bastilla really doesn’t get along with him, which weirds him out since he normally gets along with hard-asses.
 
Sasaki leads his small team to the Wookie homeworld, helping free them from the corporation that’s taken control… but during the process his team has to fight what amounts to a force resistant land bound dragon. Sasaki loses his left eye to the mauling he receives, but survives. He replaces it with a purple one quite literally just because he wants a purple one. He actually can’t see using it initially, though he got a version with infrared vision.

On Korriban, the Sith Academy, he sneaks his way in and learns from them over the course of a month or two. Mostly they’re teaching Dark Side techniques, but Sasaki is fascinated with Sith Alchemy. He learns very little in the time constraints and between playing the Academy against itself. He’s surprisingly good at this because despite seeming and being brutally honest, he’s capable of lying quite well.

After getting the headmaster and his assistant, the two most powerful Sith there to kill one another, he accesses the star map and is exhilarated by the power and skill he just showed, feeling the strength from the environment surging in him… and he suddenly feels himself slipping away as something dark and powerful rises up from within him.

The remnants of Revan’s personality surge up, empowered by the Dark Side to shunt Sasaki out of existence.

Sasaki keeps his self-created lightsaber as a 'phantasm'.





Baldur’s Gate
He’s re-summoned by the same mage. It’s not long before she’s able to cast a translation spell on him, at which point they have a long talk. He explains all of his limited knowledge of the first game and its plot/developments/quests. He shocks her with the truth of her heritage and is all for her choosing what she wants to do with it rather than telling anyone else. She ends up deciding to tell her friends the truth.

It doesn’t really click, but he keeps his cybernetic left eye.

At his request, she helps him learn arcane magic.

He can’t really use the Force here worth a damn, though the instinct works slightly, at least when facing sentient opponents. He’s able to figure out how to perform basic Reinforcement and Structural Analysis. Lots of broken little things.

Quote from: Scene Concept
One of the party members is a manipulative dark elf and Sasaki admittedly likes her quite a bit. After his master, she’s the one he listens to the most for relatively little reward. Two of the more mature party members pull him aside at one point and try to convince him that she’s manipulating him…

“… duh?”

“I know it’s hard to bel-… wait, what?”

“Of course she’s manipulating me? She asks me to take her watch at night so she can go flirt with, I’m assuming, Dorn due to her given preferences. Her words are calculated to make it seem like she is attracted to me while encouraging me to do just that little bit more to please her as if it would be enough to get her to truly love me. And this is ignoring the calculated touches, glances, and general attitude she has. It’s obvious that she’s manipulating me.”

“If you know that, they why do you go along with it?”

“Why not? I don’t expect her to love me, I just enjoy her presence.”

The half elf blinked in a cross between surprise and confusion.

I rolled my eyes and gave her a small smile, “Jaheira, I don’t dance because I am a puppet on her strings, but because I enjoy the tune. Nothing more, nothing less.”

They get further in the series but he’s killed in battle by a wyvern when it swoops down and snatches him up, biting off his face before he can orient himself enough to fight back.




Xcom: Enemy Within
Once more, Sasaki awakens within the alien’s ship as he is rescued. Brought into the Xcom program once more, he’s determined to try and help. He has is instinct works here as well, and he’s a good shot, though not great. The Commander allows him to go on some missions as a rookie, assuming that he, like the others rescued with him, is a psionic. And the Commander isn’t entirely wrong.

They realize that his left eye is artificial and with his permission, study it. It doesn’t match the rest of the tech the aliens have, but then again, they barely understand the alien tech in the first place.

Sasaki works with the science and engineering departments, trying to bring up the things he learned before to speed up the advancement and understanding of the tech. He’s given a suit of Skeleton Armor which has a grappling hook and is surprisingly light as well as a laser rifle. He prefers to have two laser pistols in addition to the rifle just for backup. He also happily wears a nanofiber vest under his armor as well as carrying a grenade.

He gets caught by a plasma bolt to the side which nearly puts him down, but he’s saved and returned to the base. During his recovery time, he undergoes psionic testing and fails, which confuses the hell out of everybody, but the Support combatant is decently skilled and is kept on the secondary ground team.

While he’s recovering, they also apply a pair of gene mods, hyper-dense musculature and a secondary heart to compensate for his flaws. The musculature allows him to make impressive leaps and bursts of power to take advantage of his precognition and the secondary heart to compensate for his comparatively poor stamina.

He becomes friends with his team, most of them being more boisterous than him. He’s surprised to realize that he retains his knowledge of Japanese from the Holy Grail War, helpful as it is.

When sent on a mission to stop a terror attack, a Berserker alien goes totally Kool Aid Man on him, moving faster than his precognition is able to warn him and crushing Sasaki’s head against the wall like a grape.




Third Swing
Spoiler for Hidden:
Spoiler for Servant Statline:
Name: Sasaki
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Saber
Master: Emiya Shirou
Age: 23
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 160 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His eyes are deep-set, his left eye a vibrant purple beneath the scars that cover the upper left of his face
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E
Agility: E+
Endurance: E
Mana: E-
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: A



Skills:[/b]
Incarnate: A
Servants possessing this skill are not truly spirits or wraiths. Higher ranks representing a Servant closer to life and possessing a living body. This skill reduces the strain of maintaining the Servant, and higher ranks also allow the Servant to respire Prana on their own. However even a minimal rank in this Skill forbids a Servant from entering Astral Form. At this rank, Gaia acknowledges Saber as a human out of place and puts very little pressure to remove him from the world. This means that Saber only respires a small amount of prana per day.

Kaleidoscopic Knowledge: D
Saber possesses a breadth of knowledge in a large variety of subjects as well as knowledge from beyond this universe. He posseses knowledge about universes which were fictional in his home universe.

Exposure to the Kaleidoscope: E
A rare skill, it represents the Servants nature from beyond this universe. Servants possessing this skill operate on their own laws of physics. Higher ranks in this skill mean that the Servant operates on more wildly different laws of physics.

Possessing this skill increases the pressure that Gaia places upon the Servant due to their greater status as an anomaly. Additionally, it is nearly always coupled with a level of Mental Pollution one rank lower than its own, representing a viewpoint distorted by the altered physics or the circumstances that caused them.

Saber possesses this skill due to his exposure to the undiluted Kaleidoscope and his souls ability to “understand” laws of physics it is exposed to, allowing his internal reality to change based on the reality it is exposed to. His Mental Pollution is due to the damage and degradation his soul has gone through from its contact with 「 」  as well as the souls he has improperly consumed.

E – The Servant's laws of physics are only subtly different from that of Gaia's.


The Force: C-
Saber has been trained to use his Od directly without converting it to prana, to affect the world around him.

Saber has a moderate amount of talent with this Skill, but he learned it in a far stronger form and in a universe far better suited to it, so this Skill is significantly less useful. Using the Force externally invokes reduces the power of the effects by three ranks.

This skill allows Saber to enhance himself by drawing on the external life force of the world and allows him to use Instinct and Presence Detection at D rank. By suffusing an object with his Od, he may telekinetically manipulate it, but this is very draining.


Divine Words: X
Saber has basic training in the Arcane, a school of magic using a combination of the Divine Language, Formalcraft, and Runes to enact their will on the world.




Noble Phantasms:
Lightsaber: A-rank Anti-Personnel
A weapon from either a far flung future or a distant past, when unactivated it is merely a simple metal tube. But when it activated, a beam of intense energy extends from it, acting as an omnidirectional blade of plasma. It is a sword which cuts anything physical, even Noble Phantasms given time. However, the blade cannot cut energy or magic.

Phantasms of A rank or higher cannot be cut as their mystery is simply too great, but lesser phantasms can be damaged or even destroyed provided sufficient time, but this is impractical for anything greater than D rank in combat.
 
As the weapon has no mass, it is difficult to block with the weapon, though it possesses the unique property of being able to be turned on and off.


Skeleton Armor: E-Rank Defense, Support
An armor built from alien alloys, it is far lighter and stronger than any comparable modern armor. It also possesses a grappling hook.


Laser Weaponry: D-Rank Anti-Personnel
Futuristic weapons, they fire beams of intense light that can blow off limbs with a single shot.
F/SN[/b]
He gets summoned as-… Saber…? What the fu- … Oh fuck.

His Force-granted Instinct is at least partially functional, but he only helps Shirou avoid getting stabbed by Lancer by-… relying on the rules of hospitality? It was a complete guess on Sasaki’s part, but it works! Well, at the very least long enough for Archer/Rin to arrive.

He has absolutely piddly magic resistance and stats for a Saber, though he has his lightsaber which cuts damn near anything, even Berserker. He’s able to assist Archer enough to force a retreat from Berserker when encountered after getting Sasaki registered. He insists on going by Saber as there really is a Sasaki in this world.

‘Saber’ takes the time to use his magics to ‘discover’ a lot about the situation. Information that Rin accepts with only a bit of trepidation as Saber has been only helpful so far, and while he admits to having a wish, her Archer doesn’t have one, so this might work out…

It takes pretty much no time at all for Rin to decide to head to the Matou mansion and break Sakura free. Saber has the idea to push his Od outwards in a bubble around him and then use that to enact a draining field which absorbs the life-force of things around him. This enables him to absorb the entire life-force of the worms in the Matou mansion that approach too close. The field is weak and hard to maintain, but it kills all of the worms within almost ten meters of him while also recharging his Od.

It takes some effort, but Sasaki can exclude Shirou from the effect. Rin and Archer are willing to have the mild drain on their reserves in return for the protection.

Sakura is utterly stunned that her sempai and sister have come to save her and still care for her even after learning how ‘filthy’ she is. Rin tries to play off her concerns, but Sasaki confides (not so quietly) to Sakura that Rin is just putting up a front and is really worried and happy that Sakura is safe. Cue very unhappy Rin.

Rin moves to talk to Caster with ‘Saber’ and Archer as her support, leaving Rider with Shirou/Sakura at the Emiya place. Archer considers turning on them to get the command seals removed, but decides against it, acknowledging that ‘Saber’ is useless. Sasaki takes offense to that! Archer shouldn’t have even considered turning on them with how super useless he is as a Saber. It’s like a damn comedy skit. Until Sasaki’s magically hidden (and hidden magically) lightsaber hilt gets close enough to Caster for him to activate it and cut her in two when negotiations fail.

Later, they end up fighting Berserker, and while Rider and Sasaki try to buy enough time for Archer to put up his Reality Marble, Sasaki taps deeply into the Dark Side of the Force to even stay alive since Berserker’s already been killed by his lightsaber and is thus immune to being killed by it again. By leaping onto Berserkers back and putting him into a draining headlock, Sasaki is actually able to reduce Berserker’s stats by a full rank before Berserker grabs him and slams him down into the ground and cleaves Sasaki in half. That wound sticks with Sasaki as a massive scar through him.



SW: KotOR[/b]
Once more replaces Revan, though this time it’s hard to keep everything under wraps. He still has his artificial left eye, but definitely no second heartbeat so… he has his eye but not his other implants…?

A bit more accustomed to wearing armor due to his time in Xcom, he wears some moderate armor that he upgrades over time. While he replaces the gauntlets, one with an integrated datapad and the other with a grappling hook. Over the course of this universe he modifies the armor even further, swapping out the helmet for a more advanced one, adding a fusion-pack backpack generator as well as powerful shields in somewhat oversized shoulderpads.

The energy shields compensates for his (comparative) lack of skill with the lightsaber and the Force when pitted against the outright better combatants.

On Tattoine he gets HK-47 and is able to negotiate peacefully with the sand people, though there’s much exasperation here at people just being obstinate, the first time it was okay, but the second time is just hard. He knows it’s the first time for them but still it feels like he’s telling them stuff all over again.

On the Wookie homeworld he’s actually ready for it this time. He convinces the corporate headquarters to turn over the planet back to the Wookies for an increased profit… and legitimately means it. Money is something he is very good at and after having time to think about how to convince them of it between tries he’s able to pull it off.

On Korriban, Sasaki actually tries to learn as much Sith Alchemy and Sorcery as he can to supplement his magic, but once again he plays most of them for fools. It’s something he’s surprisingly good at, his apparent honesty and earnest nature make it easy to convince his superiors and ‘classmates’ that he really just wants to do the best he can for them… until he pulls the rug out from under them or stops supporting them and lets them fall on their own. He gains a few markers of the Dark Side here, veins along the right side of his face, even paler skin, his right eye slowly yellowing, but he’s been in control of his own darkness for a long time, it’s Revan’s and the surroundings that he has to learn how to control. It just feels so good to give in. Still he manages it and turns the Sith Academy inside out before he leaves, stealing most of their records and a fair amount of expensive equipment with none the wiser.

His companions call him out on his appearance, but that appearance fades over time amongst them and away from the ambient dark side energy. Just as he said it would. Still, Bastilla is very wary of him and the other Jedi are concerned.

On the water planet they have to deal with the trial and obstinate bureaucracy, things that Sasaki is actually good at. It’s when he’s got to go on his own into combat that he struggles.

The group sticks with him after learning his ‘secret’ (Oh noes! You’re really Revan?!). But when he has to fight the Dark Side Bastilla, he really has to work his ass off to talk her down as she obviously doesn’t love him as she would have the canon Revan.

When he finally fights Malak, Sasaki is willing to drain the mindless stored Jedi and attempts to puppeteer one of the bodies against Malak though this doesn’t work.  He finally beats Malak by using magic to literally make Malak slip and then take Malak’s arm. Despite having armor that essentially renders him immune to lightsabers and conventional attacks, despite this body’s strength in the Force, Sasaki simply lacks the skill to use it to its full potential, especially against someone like Malak… in a location so saturated with the Darkside that Sasaki has to struggle with going berserk, which would be an instant ticket to death.

Once defeating Malak, Sasaki stops the assault, taking control of the massive facility, his curiosity and desire to learn getting the best of him and clouding his judgement.

The Republic that he saved demands the Star Forge, and ‘Revan’ denies them, pointing out how dangerous it is. They almost threaten to attack, but he points out that the losses would be horrendous. Sasaki just wants to study the place some and tells the republic as such, but the Republic makes demands. He has no interest in war, but he also fully believes that this station is too dangerous to be used. He attempts to negotiate peacefully, and this is the only reason that things don't disolve into another war within a few days.

It’s over the course of a few weeks before he decides he’s pushed the Republics temper enough and decides to blow the place and run. Between using Structural Analysis as well as his own computers, Sasaki learns a number of principles and takes massive numbers of notes on the operation of the station and how it uses the Force to do things. How it draws on so much power in of itself boggles his mind, but he picks up bits and pieces and takes 3D pictures of everything.

While most of his companions go their separate ways, a few stick with him.

Quote from: Scene Idea
”Mission, you shouldn’t stay with me…”

“You can’t tell me otherwise Sasaki! You’re not leaving without me.”

“Mission… I’m probably going to die under a hail of blaster fire or someone’s lightsaber… there’ll be no happiness at the end of my story. Just sorrow and death, and if I’m lucky, the satisfaction that I’d done the best I could …”

“I-… No. I’m not abandoning you! Not just because it’s convenient. You didn’t do that to us and I’m not going to do it to you.”

After blowing up the Star Forge he runs into the galaxy with his few companions and hides.

He learns more about his own equipment to maintain it while they’re on the run, years passing as they avoid the bounty-hunters searching for ‘Revan’. If he could just settle in and hide he could do so, but he's unable to just stand by whenever he sees cruelty or things he can fix, so he occasionally pops up on the radar and the Republic follows.

Over nearly four years, Sasaki develops his armor as well as his lightsaber. He makes sure to memorize as much as possible about the creation of these items so that he can take that information to Xcom universe as he suspects he’ll be going there again.

His lightsaber is unusual in that he normally uses it as a single, but it’s truly a double that can split into two. One blade is longer and green while the other is short and a constant cascade of different colors. The short blade is mostly meant as a surprise weapon, and it’s color (rainbow) was something he did in memory of his girlfriend in his home reality who wanted one… it’s a reminder to himself that he’s not of this world and that he also has a home elsewhere.

One relatively normal day of hiding from the Republic, something different happens.

Cue assassins.

While he's dealt with bounty hunters plenty of times, these are force sensitive assassins. What a mess. And then the Lord of Pain, Darth Scion, appears to try and kill him. Sasaki holds the near-corpse off long enough for his companions to escape before he himself runs. Scion isn't as powerful as Malak, nor as skilled, but he's effectively immortal and still strictly better than Sasaki. Still, after seeing his skill it in action, Sasaki thinks he might be able to emulate it given some time, to use the Dark Side and the power of his pain to hold himself together...

But still, this is a problem. If Scion is about… then so are the more terrifying Sith.

Sasaki tries to get into contact with the Jedi and warn them, but it’s mostly fruitless. While he’s able to talk freely with some Jedi, most just try to bring ‘Revan’ in and/or down. One of the Jedi Masters believes him though and takes the time to work with him, teaching him some before telling him to meet them at the Jedi Council that’s been called. He’ll defend Sasaki, if he does.

This whole time, Scion hounds Sasaki and his companions off and on, Sasaki killing more and more of Scion's assassins but Scion and his assassins killing a number of the Jedi that Sasaki was going to meet, deaths that are attributed to ‘Revan’. Damnit.

Frustrated, he doesn’t go to the council that’s called… and thus avoids dying with the rest of the planet at the hands of Darth Nihilus.

Horrified, he really doesn’t know what to do now…

He needs time to think and just hide for a while… but his companions are able to convince him to try and gather allies to fight this force of darkness.

Sasaki seeks out Jedi and Sith to take down Darth Nihilus. He starts to gather up allies, a small fleet even of mixed Jedi and Sith, and it is only the threat of Darth Nihilus that keeps them in line initially, but later, that of Darth Scion when the semi-immortal attacks the entire group. Sasaki proves himself the most effective combatant and holds Darth Scion off long enough for the others to flee before he himself runs. While some try to betray him for Scion, that doesn’t last long, and most agree to work together with him.

Not much later though, while they’re stopped at a planet… everyone around Sasaki dies and collapses into ash.

Darth Nihilus has come, and Sasaki is the only one left. He doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know why… but damnit he’s going to stand up to the bastard and try to bring him down.

(He’s immune to Darth Nihilus insta-death hunger not due to strength in the Force or special technique, but because if he wasn’t, his soul would be consumed and permanently killed, and that literally can’t happen because of his accidental wish those that Sasaki had a Force Bond with, who Sasaki himself absorbed/consumed unknown to him at the time, this will come back to haunt him when he remembers things only they would know)

Horrified and stricken, Sasaki sends the only survivors, his droids, off to find the Jedi Exile and help them; if the multi-dimensional warrior can’t take down either of them, then they’re the only one that can threaten them. He doesn’t expect to survive, but he’s going to try to take out at least one damnit.

So he waits.

In the middle of a pavilion on a dead planet, deliberately setting up dozens of camera’s and recordings so that people will know about these damn bastards, Sasaki waits for the two Sith Lords to arrive. They appear, pre-empted by dozens of assassins… which do nothing to Sasaki as he just turns the very same power Nihilus has against them, consuming them whole.

And so he stands to meet his death.

He can’t beat both of them, hell, he can’t even beat Scion on his own. But damnit, he’ll take at least one of them down. Sasaki does surprisingly well, mostly by whipping out a completely different style every other move and his armor allowing him to use a completely unconventional style, letting him just tank several consecutive blows from their lightsabers before he needed to block.

He removes one of Scions arms… but the Lord of Pain re-attaches it mid combat. Sasaki cleaves Nihilus in two… which doesn’t kill the force of nature. Damnit, this is ridiculous. He taps further into the Dark Side of the Force, he loses an arm but reattaches it mid-combat and cleaves them both in half using the moment of surprise. This doesn’t stop either of them, but it slows them down long enough that he can try to drain Scion.

Sasaki is cut apart piece by piece, slowly broken down in the duel until he collapses and falls apart, unable to maintain the Dark Side sustaining effect, fading from this existence.

He gains both his lightsaber and his armor as ‘phantasms’ from this travel.




Baldur’s Gate[/b]
He’s summoned… by the same master as before. This surprises him a bit since he expected to reset upon death but he’s not complaining! And this time he even has his powerful armor! It’s been a little bit since he was last here since his master couldn’t bring herself to summon again due to mourning for him. She smacks the crap out of him for making her worry and cry like that, but he just hugs her, happy to be back and be amongst friends he hasn’t seen in almost five years of relative time.

Annoyingly, while he still has all of his skill that he developed, all of the conditioning he put his body through is gone as it wasn’t his body, not to mention that his Force Abilities are considerably weaker outside of his body. However, he does have his hyper-dense musculature and secondary heart once more, and has to rebuild his combat style around possessing the sudden bursts of power he can provide with his musculature.

Since he has no way of refueling its generator (which can also recharge his other equipment like his lightsaber), he has to figure out a way to ghetto-rig the generator to run off of atmosphere rather than the purer fuel cells. Functional? Yes. Efficient? Fuck no.

The cost of maintaining him has gone up noticeably, even though she is more powerful. Sasaki tries Force Bonding to her, which actually makes it a bit easier since they can share power, and by Force Bonding with other Party Members he reduces the strain on his master. He also works on his draining field, practicing maintaining it in combat without affecting those he’s Force Bonded to.

The group pushes on until they fight the final boss of the first game, the demigod of murder. The fight is intense and difficult, pushing the party to their limits against the powerful demigod and his cronies, but in the end they’re victorious. But when Saerevok dissolves into golden motes of light, instead of dispersing and fading, they surge into Sasaki as his own soul desperately tries to patch itself up by consuming it. Sasaki absorbs both the soul and divine spark on complete accident.

However, this also includes a sudden spike in his maintenance cost, which his master can’t provide for in her exhausted state, and what little power Sasaki had left failing him rather quickly. And so he fades from existence.



Xcom: Enemy Within[/b]
This time when he awakens in the tube, Sasaki tries to break himself out. He succeeds but then has to hide and struggle to avoid getting re-captured, hiding and scurrying about.

By using the Force to enhance his body, he takes out several aliens to help the ground team. He, with the other rescued people, are brought into Xcom. Once again, while the others are powerful psionics, Sasaki himself isn’t though he retains the implants of a secondary heart and musculature.

As they ransack the ship, they find a suit of armor for humans damaged in the fight… and Sasaki realizes it’s his own. While he tells the Commander the full truth as he understands it, the others are told it’s something the aliens shoved into his head. But he helps the science team rebuild his armor as well as how to transfer its tech to others.

They can’t replicate the fusion pack, but with Sasaki’s knowledge of their research in his previous time here their progress towards Elerium generators is heavily jumpstarted. He uses his armor as a testbed for tech, swapping out the plating and adding in servos to help with the weight of the considerably larger plating in a prototype version of the Titan armor. It has a sealed internal air supply as well as cooling systems. He adds a back-up Elerium generator in addition to the fusion generator backpack to help power both the servos in it as well as the energy shields.

The research department develops an armor using the Elerium power and the shielding tech to create a weaker version of Sasaki’s own armor.

Sasaki splits his time between the research department and ground team. His considerable instinct combined with Force enhancement and his implants make him a very useful team member. During one mission he’s badly injured by a Chrysallid as the bug-like aliens swarm at his team and he taps into the Dark Side heavily, ripping all the power he can from his surroundings to unleash a brief burst of Force Lightning upon them.

The Commander makes a decision. While Sasaki is recovering, he’s given a full suite of modifications to enhance his effectiveness. Mimetic skin that allows him to go chameleon, his organic eye given a hyper-reactive pupil, adaptive bone marrow placed into his long bones to enhance his healing rate considerably, and an organ placed into his mind to allow him to provide dangerous feedback for anyone attempting mental attacks on him.

The reason for this? He’s being sent on covert missions on his own to investigate EXALT cells. Due to his instincts and physical prowess he’s at the least risk of any other team member.

He does surprisingly well. Even with limited equipment, his new gene-mods combined with his Force abilities make him superhuman even compared to the gene-mod enhanced EXALT teams.

When they attack the primary EXALT base, Sasaki comes along since he’s been so invested in it now. He gets separated from the rest of his team and laser-fire pounds down on him. His instincts had been screaming at him that this was bad, but he couldn’t avoid it. His shields fall quickly under the combined firepower and his armor fails him, the power pack breeching and exploding, killing him almost instantly.




Fourth Swing
Spoiler for Servant Statline:
Name: Sasaki
Race: Human (Servant?)
Class: Caster
Master: ???
Age: 31
Height: 5' 6''
Weight: 168 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Appearance: A lean, relatively fit young man, he has an unassuming and average appearance. His eyes are deep-set, his left eye a vibrant purple beneath the scars that cover the upper left of his face
Alignment: Lawful Good

Stats
Strength: E+
Agility: E+
Endurance: E
Mana: E
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: A



Class Skills:[/b]
Item Creation: D+
Caster has moderate skill in the creation of items, enhanced by his class. In particular, he is adept at creating technological items or those dealing with Sith Alchemy, in which case his skill is Rank Up.


Territory Creation: C
Enables the creation of a “Workshop”.


Skills:[/b]
Incarnate: A
Servants possessing this skill are not truly spirits or wraiths. Higher ranks representing a Servant closer to life and possessing a living body. This skill reduces the strain of maintaining the Servant, and higher ranks also allow the Servant to respire Prana on their own. However even a minimal rank in this Skill forbids a Servant from entering Astral Form. At this rank, Gaia acknowledges Caster as a human out of place and puts very little pressure to remove him from the world. This means that Caster only respires a small amount of prana per day.

Kaleidoscopic Knowledge: C
Caster possesses a breadth of knowledge in a large variety of subjects as well as knowledge from beyond this universe. He posseses knowledge about universes which were fictional in his home universe.

Exposure to the Kaleidoscope: E
A rare skill, it represents the Servants nature from beyond this universe. Servants possessing this skill operate on their own laws of physics. Higher ranks in this skill mean that the Servant operates on more wildly different laws of physics.

Possessing this skill increases the pressure that Gaia places upon the Servant due to their greater status as an anomaly. Additionally, it is nearly always coupled with a level of Mental Pollution one rank lower than its own, representing a viewpoint distorted by the altered physics or the circumstances that caused them.

Caster possesses this skill due to his exposure to the undiluted Kaleidoscope and his souls ability to “understand” laws of physics it is exposed to, allowing his internal reality to change based on the reality it is exposed to. His Mental Pollution is due to the damage and degradation his soul has gone through from its contact with 「 」  as well as the souls he has improperly consumed.

E – The Servant's laws of physics are only subtly different from that of Gaia's.


Divinity: D
Having stolen the Divinity of a powerful Demigod of Murder, Caster has the spark of divinity within him.


The Force: A-
Caster has been trained to use his Od directly without converting it to prana, to affect the world around him.

Caster has a moderate amount of talent with this Skill, but he learned it in a far stronger form and in a universe far better suited to its use. As such, it’s main use is on his internal reality. While it may be used externally by infusing the item or environment with his Od, doing so is draining and reduces the power of the effects by three ranks.

This skill allows Caster to enhance himself by drawing on the external life force of the world and grants him the following skills: Instinct A+, Sith Alchemy B, Presence Detection D, and Life Force Drain B.


Divine Words: E
Caster has training in the Arcane, a school of magic using a combination of the Divine Language, Formalcraft, and Runes to enact the users will on the world. While he is truly a sorcerer, and as such his selection of spells on command is very limited, he has been trained as a wizard and is able to use his spellbook to cast a far larger selection of spells, though these are oftentimes 4 or 5 line processes. This contributes to his Territory Creation and Item Creation skills.

Spoiler for Spells on Command:
Cantrips – Read Magic, Detect Magic, Light, Mage Hand, Mending, Prestidigitation, Arcane Mark, Message

First Level – Magic Missile (A classic), Grease (Makes 10-ft square or one object slippery), Shield (Create an invisible barrier of force that hovers near ones arm), True Strike (Massively increase chances to hit, almost a sure strike), Shocking Grasp

Second Level – Invisibility, Darkness (10-ft radius of supernatural darkness), Scorching Ray (Several beams of fire, each an E-rank attack)

Third Level – Tongues (Speak any language), Haste (Speeeeeeeeed)

Fourth Level – Dimension Door (Short Range Teleport)





Noble Phantasms:
Lightsaber: A-rank Anti-Personnel
A weapon from either a far flung future or a distant past, when unactivated it is merely a simple metal tube. But when it activated, a beam of intense energy extends from it, acting as an omnidirectional blade of plasma. It is a sword which cuts anything physical, even Noble Phantasms given time. However, the blade cannot cut energy or magic.

Phantasms of A rank or higher cannot be cut as their mystery is simply too great, but lesser phantasms can be damaged or even destroyed provided sufficient time, but this is impractical for anything greater than D rank in combat.
 
As the weapon has no mass, it is difficult to block with the weapon, though it possesses the unique property of being able to be turned on and off.


Traveler’s Armor: D+ Rank Defense, Support
An armor built from alien alloys, it is far lighter and stronger than any comparable modern armor. Infused with his Od at every step of the way, it contributes to his A-rank Force skill. Additionally, it possesses a grappling hook.

The armor may project a barrier of crystalized plasma that reduces the power of any attack by one rank.



Laser Weaponry: D-Rank Anti-Personnel
Futuristic weapons, they fire beams of intense light that can blow off limbs with a single shot.

lantzblades

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #43 on: March 25, 2014, 09:19:40 PM »
So uh, Rainbow light saber, it's impossible, firstly because artificial crystals don't work properly in the construction of a light saber and secondly because neither concept of how a light saber forms the blade supports crystal rotation while in use.

Andoriol

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Re: Adrift in the Kaleidoscope (Brainstorming / Summary / Criticism Thread)
« Reply #44 on: March 26, 2014, 03:00:45 AM »
I'm aware. I just explicitly don't care  :3

Also, synth crystals are a thing, even ones other than green crystals. The Sith use red synth crystals almost exclusively, and even Luke Skywalker used a green synth crystal for his lightsaber after Vader trashed the one Obi-Wan gave him, that one was green due to Luke's meditations though.

I think I like the "It looks like a different color based on what angle you look at it from" thing more though.