Author Topic: Another Spring Day (lemon)  (Read 1572 times)

lantzblades

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Another Spring Day (lemon)
« on: October 30, 2013, 12:55:55 PM »
As the warm sun hits my face, I’m reminded how cold it was outside when this all started. Two weeks if my memory is correct. With all the insanity, it feels like it's been two years. Saber voice calls for me painted with annoyance.

“Shirou, Rider is being unreasonable. Come and talk some sense into her!”

As I slide slowly out of bed to start the late morning, an arm clad in a soft pink catches my leg. She's still asleep, as she has been every morning I've woken up here. Moving away slowly so I don’t disturb her, I get dressed and move into the living room, to find Saber with a sour look on her face, and Rider, looking completely blank, except for the ever so slightly smug look I've come to recognise she gets every time she outwits Saber.

“Shirou, Rider is trying to exclude me from the night time activities you and Sakura frequently engage in, while she herself is not abdicating.”

It's the same tired argument the two have been engaging in for the last couple of days. It’s an exhausting back and forth just to watch and I’m usually in the middle of it. Before I can open my mouth to speak, Rider responds.

“You are sustained by the excess prana my master supported you with at the war’s end. I am not.”

It’s a good point, but I doubt Saber likes to having to be supported by prana that was effectively stolen from innocents. Besides, it’s rude to exclude her, and Sakura herself has encouraged Saber’s involvement.

“Just because you have a point doesn’t mean you're right, Rider. If I cared about efficiency, I would've taken Rin up on her offer to help bind you two to the house, to remove your dependence on Sakura and I,” I cut in before Saber can speak again.

 Saber’s eyes dim a bit and her face becomes sad as Rider tries to burn a hole in my face with her stare. I would of course never think of doing such a thing but it’s about time I settled this, because I’m not about to wake up to these two arguing everyday from now until Saber’s prana runs low enough that Rider’s excuse stops holding water.

“Shirou is right, Rider. And if it ever becomes a problem we’ll discuss it- but until then, you two need to stop these fights about the subject. Saber is part of our family as well, and it's not right to exclude her,” Sakura chimes in, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

 Rider’s face shifts showing her disappointment whilst Saber smiles brightly. The rest of the day, like all our days now, is bright, and so happy it's almost unreal. To think that those two kids- the boy that looked like Saber, and the girl who was almost the spitting image of Tohsaka- were responsible for giving us such an opportunity... The fact that I never even asked their names makes me kind of sad, but the boy looked unbelievably happy, so I won’t let anything ruin this happiness.

 Later, as the sun sets, Sakura drags me to Saber’s room. Rider is bound and gagged, tied down to the bed, with toys snugly fit in both her front and back doors. Sakura has a small remote in her hands as she leaves, and returns with Saber, who is politely trying to protest. It won’t work, of course. When Sakura wants sex, she gets it. I think it’s even worse then when her body was under constant stimulation.

 Eventually, Saber gives in, and Sakura hands her the remote. “Go on and use it, Saber. After all you don’t want to exclude Rider from this time of ours,” Sakura tells her in a soft velvet voice.

 Saber’s cheeks flush pink as she hesitates for a moment before flicking the switch, activating Rider’s accessories, causing the tall woman to shiver and give a muffled groan. Sakura wraps her arms around Saber's midsection, fingers playing over her clothing, and whispers something to her, before taking her earlobe unto her mouth, causing Saber to turn red and move the knob up another level.

 Sakura cups Saber's breasts in her hands, massaging them with practised ease. Saber struggles in an attempt to get away, but Sakura takes a firm hold on the small mounds of flesh, and begins to fondle them possessively, undressing her with quick, almost desperate movements.

“Shirou likes seeing Saber be naughty, isn’t that right, Senpai?” Sakura asserts, turning to ask me.

 Of course- seeing Saber so cute and withdrawn makes me want to see her resist more, but the truth is, if I watch anymore, I’d probably go off without even removing my pants. I nod in response to the question and stand up as Sakura restrains Saber’s arms while continuing to undress her.

 As Sakura strips Saber’s shirt- the last piece of clothing she had left- off her, I step before my servant and lover. Saber looks up shyly and reaches up, exposing my stiff member, before Sakura pulls Saber’s hands back behind her, grabs me, and starts stroking slowly.

 I can’t help but smile at Saber’s embarrassed face as Sakura plants one hand on the back of her head, gently pushing her toward my throbbing heat. Sakura licks and gently bites down on Saber’s neck as she teaches the blonde to use her mouth. Saber is naturally good at it, but with Sakura guiding her, I don’t think I’ll last very long.

 Rider's incoherent cries become louder, and she bucks against her restraints harder than ever as Saber unknowingly leans on the remote. The knob slowly turns to max, causing the captive Rider to writhe and shiver as the toys rumble and pound away inside her. Before I can explode, Sakura pulls Saber’s head back and grips my cock hard, rubbing under the head to finish me off and I spray the two beautiful girls with my hot juice.

 Saber’s eyes are hazy, and Sakura licks the thick whiteness from her lips, then undoes Rider’s gag and gives her a long, open mouth kiss, sharing my seed with her. Saber’s aroused breathing catch my ear, but Sakura overtakes her, sliding into my lap as I sit down. Sakura notices Saber, the two locking eyes for a moment, before Sakura smiles a little, stands up again and slips on a strap-on.

 Saber’s eyes go wide and she tries to crawl away, but Sakura simply grabs her by the shoulder and hair, pulling her back onto all fours, and begins to feed her the thick purple thing bit by bit. Saber coughs from the size of the invader and drops her face into the futon, beginning to let out muffled groans. Rider nuzzles my thigh, having managed to crawl over, even tied up, with the toys working her till she's beyond soaked, and dripping. Rider begins to lick my member, begging me with sad eyes to be relieved of the pleasure-filled torment.

 Rider waves her backside, silently screaming as she takes my member deep into her mouth. Unable to take her gaze any longer, I yank out the toys. Rider collapses with a whimper, sucking hard on the cock in her mouth.

 Just as I start to throb, Rider is pulled off me, and slid forward so her slit clings to the tip of my sword. Sakura smiles at me, grabs Rider’s hips and pushes her down hard, sheathing me in her tight wet heat. Rider moans at the sudden invasion, and Saber takes the strap on used on her, and shoves it in Rider’s mouth, still soaked in her lust.

Rider tries to move back, but is caught as Sakura driver her own strap on into her still softened asshole. Once I've filled Rider wih my seed and the other girls have ensured Rider has been fucked senseless, the other two ride me through the night. As the sun dawns on another spring morning, I find my mind wanders to flower watching. Here, in this house, with the people I love, and who love me, I’ll spend my days without regret.

Arch-Magos Winter

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Re: Another Spring Day (lemon)
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2013, 01:27:36 PM »
I just want to say this - this is one of the worst lemons I have ever read.


Shirou doesn't sound like Shirou or fucking ACT like Shirou. Everyone sounds like cardboard cutouts doing the nasty. Where's the emotion? The love? The desire? I can't feel that, and the formatting doesn't help.

lantzblades

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Re: Another Spring Day (lemon)
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2013, 01:38:04 PM »
Frankly Arch while you are entitled to your opinion I would prefer that in the future you keep it to yourself.

Arch-Magos Winter

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Re: Another Spring Day (lemon)
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2013, 01:42:30 PM »
Frankly Arch while you are entitled to your opinion I would prefer that in the future you keep it to yourself.
Frankly Lantz, this attitude of yours is what's killing you as an author. Now, if you want me to, I could go through every fucking line of this and explain why this is bad, where it goes wrong, and how to fix it, but I doubt you do because you'll then whine about me 'not getting it' or some shit and then the cycle starts over and over again before I stop bothering.

lantzblades

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Re: Another Spring Day (lemon)
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2013, 01:44:58 PM »
I was polite before, this time plainly. Leave me alone, I do not want your opinion about my work, go away.

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Re: Another Spring Day (lemon)
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2013, 01:54:04 PM »
I'll add this: Stop baiting, Magos. Every time you post at lantz, except for maybe that competition post in the dare thread just now, you sound ridiculously antagonistic towards him.

You're trying to get him mad and trying to stir shit up, intentionally or not doesn't matter. Just stop, and if you're serious about reading and critiquing Lantz's work come back when you can be polite about it.

And Lantz, just use the report button if you feel you've been wronged. I'd rather not search threads myself to nip arguments at the bud.

lantzblades

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Re: Another Spring Day (lemon)
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2013, 02:00:36 PM »
Alright dude. And you're right, I will answer polite questions and feedback  but as a point of order this shit is hella old, most of my older stuff were experiments figuring out how to write lemons so I'm aware they aren't great.